The Fiend

Concrete · 01-18-2014, 02:01 PM

is an insidious individual inhabiting nether realms
telling itself to repel the pain but it never helps
this freak played it smooth, high school was hella cool
yet soon the mellow groove developed to a feral ghoul
a distorted humanoid silhouette flashes under the streetlights
as the careless base-head materialize itself at midnight
a sick sight, an abomination located in grimy dwelling zones
ghettos and hellholes - wherever peddlers are selling dope
base and coke takes a toll, thus The Fiend is truly creepy
like a mutant species pestering ordinary human beings
ruined dreams seen trough crude needles, gruesome scenes
among poor people, the true leaders equals cruel dealers
consuming freedom, enslaving their folks by draining The Soul
inhaling fatal smoke, paving a road bound to be amiss
The Way of The Fiend is a vigorous path down to the abyss
can't bounce back from the pits, the creature is trapped
by fact that a lack of smack is wack, the reason they sell loads
the day The Human decayed was - when it couldn't just say no

Exis · 01-20-2014, 10:25 PM

This was pretty cool man...multies were straight which kept it solid flow wise, content was good and I liked your word usage for the most part...sorry can't quote atm as I'm at work but I'll come back thru here when I can and highlight what I dug most.

Stay upwards.

Exis · 01-21-2014, 01:07 AM

Wouldn't let me edit but whatevers.

a sick sight, an abomination located in grimy dwelling zones
ghettos and hellholes - wherever peddlers are selling dope
base and coke takes a toll, thus The Fiend is truly creepy
like a mutant species pestering ordinary human beings

^^Dope.

Concrete · 01-21-2014, 09:44 AM

Thanx for dropping off some food Exis.

CopyPat · 01-21-2014, 01:13 PM

cool piece bruv. and props on the Del avy haha. Del is my fav rapper probly. this drop was a little different which is always good to see, painted a picture pretty well. you snuck in alot of good vocab which all contributed to the dark grimy feel of this: "insidious, abomination, distorted, pestering" Pretty cool read man. Mechanically it wasn't outstanding, but your bar lengths were consistent, could be converted to audio most likely if u tried

01-18-2014, 02:01 PM	#1
Concrete Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Oslo Posts: 179 Battle Record: 5-0 Rep Power: 2158978	The Fiend is an insidious individual inhabiting nether realms telling itself to repel the pain but it never helps this freak played it smooth, high school was hella cool yet soon the mellow groove developed to a feral ghoul a distorted humanoid silhouette flashes under the streetlights as the careless base-head materialize itself at midnight a sick sight, an abomination located in grimy dwelling zones ghettos and hellholes - wherever peddlers are selling dope base and coke takes a toll, thus The Fiend is truly creepy like a mutant species pestering ordinary human beings ruined dreams seen trough crude needles, gruesome scenes among poor people, the true leaders equals cruel dealers consuming freedom, enslaving their folks by draining The Soul inhaling fatal smoke, paving a road bound to be amiss The Way of The Fiend is a vigorous path down to the abyss can't bounce back from the pits, the creature is trapped by fact that a lack of smack is wack, the reason they sell loads the day The Human decayed was - when it couldn't just say no

01-21-2014, 01:13 PM	#5
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	cool piece bruv. and props on the Del avy haha. Del is my fav rapper probly. this drop was a little different which is always good to see, painted a picture pretty well. you snuck in alot of good vocab which all contributed to the dark grimy feel of this: "insidious, abomination, distorted, pestering" Pretty cool read man. Mechanically it wasn't outstanding, but your bar lengths were consistent, could be converted to audio most likely if u tried __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

01-20-2014, 10:25 PM	#2
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	This was pretty cool man...multies were straight which kept it solid flow wise, content was good and I liked your word usage for the most part...sorry can't quote atm as I'm at work but I'll come back thru here when I can and highlight what I dug most. Stay upwards.

01-21-2014, 01:07 AM	#3
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	Wouldn't let me edit but whatevers. a sick sight, an abomination located in grimy dwelling zones ghettos and hellholes - wherever peddlers are selling dope base and coke takes a toll, thus The Fiend is truly creepy like a mutant species pestering ordinary human beings ^^Dope.

01-21-2014, 09:44 AM	#4
Concrete Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Oslo Posts: 179 Battle Record: 5-0 Rep Power: 2158978	Thanx for dropping off some food Exis.