When all is said and done.. it's not where you're going... it's how you get there.

Dove Dozer · 03-11-2013, 05:26 PM

Audio link -----> http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...0389884-------

It really doesn't matter where you're going.. What matters is... how you get there. When all is said and done..

------------------------

I'm glancing... through a window of my soul,
and it hits me like a brick through the window when it's cold.
I'm feeling bitter and old, living as a soldier..
Tell me that you've been through this, and it's over.
The clock starts ticking, first breath, first step..
Then the next one left leaves ya closer to death.
So I guess that it's best, I seize the day..
Live life by example... lead the way..
So I can breathe today, and say made it through the rough shit.
I'm busted from being accustomed to the tough shit.
Trust it's a must kid I'm breaking the chains
Making a change cause I've lived life escaping the pain
For freedom so, I've walked the long road it seems,
And I'm never sacrificing my hopes and dreams.
I let go of my soul when I was overseas,
Now all I crave is a place with an ocean breeze.

When all is said and done..
With every breath of my life..
I'll seize the day..
I've met death in disguise
I'll lead the way..
I'll be the best in my prime
When all is said and done,

I was struggling, the dumbest kid numb from the hate,
that my mother put inside me, bearing some of the weight
on my shoulders, so lately I've been juggling fate..
tryin to stay a few steps ahead like running a race..
It's toxic, everyone I talk with is lost kid..
I'm cautious to expose the emotion locked in .
but here I am.. end of the day...making this music,
Passing positive messages making it fluid.
So put your mind to it, and do it..believe in yourself,
We're humans...not sheep, stop seeking the wealth
Forget the greed, and give to those needing the help
Otherwise ya might as well be like the heathen in hell.
and I'll be the hero, instead of wasting my time,
because I.. write with a purpose lacing the rhymes.
I need a... place to reclince, a place I can find
to get away from the daily pace of the grind..

When all is said and done..
With every breath of my life..
I'll seize the day..
I've met death in disguise
I'll lead the way..
I'll be the best in my prime
When all is said and done...

Zen · 04-19-2013, 04:58 PM

This is one of your first drops here and I can tell you that you have elevated allot in a little over a month. The hook is very nice I like it. Would love to hear this over a beat to be honest to see how you'd deliver this. In my opinion the second verse is much better than the first.

I was struggling, the dumbest kid numb from the hate,
that my mother put inside me, bearing some of the weight
on my shoulders, so lately I've been juggling fate..
tryin to stay a few steps ahead like running a race..
It's toxic, everyone I talk with is lost kid..
I'm cautious to expose the emotion locked in
^Nice meaning behind these lines even though the scheme is simple.

That would have to be my biggest critism of this piece is that the scheme is simple, but this is for audio which means it likely would not suffer because of that. All in all reading this piece and then peeping forward to the Warlord piece you dropped you progressed a ton imo. Will try to feed other pieces of yours that I haven't fed yet as well probably on Monday fella.

03-11-2013, 05:26 PM	#1
Dove Dozer loose leaf bruce lee Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,077 Battle Record: 7-6 Rep Power: 1853216	When all is said and done.. it's not where you're going... it's how you get there. Audio link -----> http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...0389884------- It really doesn't matter where you're going.. What matters is... how you get there. When all is said and done.. ------------------------ I'm glancing... through a window of my soul, and it hits me like a brick through the window when it's cold. I'm feeling bitter and old, living as a soldier.. Tell me that you've been through this, and it's over. The clock starts ticking, first breath, first step.. Then the next one left leaves ya closer to death. So I guess that it's best, I seize the day.. Live life by example... lead the way.. So I can breathe today, and say made it through the rough shit. I'm busted from being accustomed to the tough shit. Trust it's a must kid I'm breaking the chains Making a change cause I've lived life escaping the pain For freedom so, I've walked the long road it seems, And I'm never sacrificing my hopes and dreams. I let go of my soul when I was overseas, Now all I crave is a place with an ocean breeze. When all is said and done.. With every breath of my life.. I'll seize the day.. I've met death in disguise I'll lead the way.. I'll be the best in my prime When all is said and done, I was struggling, the dumbest kid numb from the hate, that my mother put inside me, bearing some of the weight on my shoulders, so lately I've been juggling fate.. tryin to stay a few steps ahead like running a race.. It's toxic, everyone I talk with is lost kid.. I'm cautious to expose the emotion locked in . but here I am.. end of the day...making this music, Passing positive messages making it fluid. So put your mind to it, and do it..believe in yourself, We're humans...not sheep, stop seeking the wealth Forget the greed, and give to those needing the help Otherwise ya might as well be like the heathen in hell. and I'll be the hero, instead of wasting my time, because I.. write with a purpose lacing the rhymes. I need a... place to reclince, a place I can find to get away from the daily pace of the grind.. When all is said and done.. With every breath of my life.. I'll seize the day.. I've met death in disguise I'll lead the way.. I'll be the best in my prime When all is said and done... Last edited by Dove Dozer; 05-16-2013 at 07:57 PM.

04-19-2013, 04:58 PM	#2
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	This is one of your first drops here and I can tell you that you have elevated allot in a little over a month. The hook is very nice I like it. Would love to hear this over a beat to be honest to see how you'd deliver this. In my opinion the second verse is much better than the first. I was struggling, the dumbest kid numb from the hate, that my mother put inside me, bearing some of the weight on my shoulders, so lately I've been juggling fate.. tryin to stay a few steps ahead like running a race.. It's toxic, everyone I talk with is lost kid.. I'm cautious to expose the emotion locked in ^Nice meaning behind these lines even though the scheme is simple. That would have to be my biggest critism of this piece is that the scheme is simple, but this is for audio which means it likely would not suffer because of that. All in all reading this piece and then peeping forward to the Warlord piece you dropped you progressed a ton imo. Will try to feed other pieces of yours that I haven't fed yet as well probably on Monday fella.