mdesanto vs. Dystopian {Dystopian wins}

[Sn00p]

AOBL
ArtofBattling.com Text Battle League

Rules

Due Dates:

• Verses are due Thursday,
  February 21st 2013 11:59 PM PST.
• Voting ends Sunday 11:59 PM PST.
• Battles that lack votes may close later.
• One sided battles may get closed early.
• Extensions can be no longer than 36 hours
  and have to be granted by your opponent.

Line Limit:

• Min. = 10 lines
• Max. = 16 lines
• The max. can be higher if different is agreed upon by both.

Voting:

• Must vote on 5 battles and post your links.
• Post the links in the thread titled "Week 1 Voting Links".
• You will be punished if you don't post all 5 voting links.
  You will not like the punishment, so just vote so you
  don't have to cry later.

General Rules:

• 1st person to post can't edit after the 2nd person posts.
• 2nd person to post can't edit after a vote has been made.
• Feeding = DQ.
• Recycling = DQ.
• Biting = DQ.
• No freeposting, swaying or bitching.
• Unless a picture battle is agreed upon,
  linking to your opponent's picture or posting it
  means you will disqualified.
• Competitors should agree on a line limit in their check in.
• If no line limit is agreed on, then the 2nd person to post
  must match the 1st person's line amount.

@mdesanto @Dystopian

[Plot]

I'll be dropping 10 lines bruh

[mdesanto]

Damn, havent been on.. Ill try to get 10 done before work

[mdesanto]

Lil late on this, gonna have to key quick.. Gl

First time in an AOB battle, and this is my opponent? Fuck it ill go lightly..
Cause I feel like a blood with this match up, you can tell Sn00p doesn't like me
You named yourself after a fictional society, and its supposed to be scary as shit?
Fuck that, Ill let clips fly and leave ya with a close shave...like the hair on a dick
When I got the glock palmed, you know its time to drop bombs
These bullets will leave ya back slashed when I aim with the dot calm
You like to act hard, but everybody knows youll never let the glock squeeze
So Ill leave you on ice when these arms raise, like I scored a goal in hockey
If he wanna swing one me, Ill just tell this little bitch try it
Cause this battle is nothing like your name, you cant stop in the middle of dyin

[Plot]

Mdesanto? Wtf is that, spanish mexican? who allowed this foreigner?
I can"t pronounce your name idiot, but I'll make sure your pronounced dead by the coroner.
You'll lose this miserably, dude Imma abuse you evilly,
Just chew you up and spit you out like the music industry.
Coz I read some of your history, and son you were just as wack in past lives..
So Now Imma turn you into a painful memory like Lama did to the Netcees Archives.
Where you showed us no talent in battling, just came with straight faggotry,
How the fuck do you have such a checkered history, and not develop any stategy?
Ya styles make-believe, dissing Dys? You aint got the damnedest of chances,
This faggot couldnt even handle rude offences, if he was managing Santas ranches.

Weva..

[Sharp]

Originally Posted by mdesanto

Lil late on this, gonna have to key quick.. Gl

You like to act hard, but everybody knows youll never let the glock squeeze
So Ill leave you on ice when these arms raise, like I scored a goal in hockey

dickhair was almost

Wordplay was really strong, just not particularly direct - pretty clean verse and enjoyable read, but there wasn't much in the way of actual punches

Originally Posted by Dystopian

Where you showed us no talent in battling, just came with straight faggotry,
How the fuck do you have such a checkered history, and not develop any stategy?
Ya styles make-believe, dissing Dys? You aint got the damnedest of chances,
This faggot couldnt even handle rude offences, if he was managing Santas ranches.

Weva..

Checkered past was bonkers, lotb


It was pretty close, desanto definitely has his shit together but wasn't really direct with his lines - last bar was almost, but it wasn't too clear. It was pretty close, but I felt Dystopian had nicer wording, and stronger wordplay, that checkered past would probably be a punch of the week for me even if there were more than two battles

Looking forward to seeing more from both guys, but

V/Dystopian

[tyler]

i didn't really like either verse too much, see some potential though. Dys had 1 or 2 bars I could put up with tho so i think he gets this for me. First bar was pretty good from him.

Vote- dystopian

[Allen Knight]

You like to act hard, but everybody knows youll never let the glock squeeze
So Ill leave you on ice when these arms raise, like I scored a goal in hockey

Vs

Coz I read some of your history, and son you were just as wack in past lives..
So Now Imma turn you into a painful memory like Lama did to the Netcees Archives.
Where you showed us no talent in battling, just came with straight faggotry,
How the fuck do you have such a checkered history, and not develop any stategy?

V/Dystopian, close battle but dy he takes it wit one more quote, both have potential just
work on yah'll concepts wording from both is decent but some the concepts werent fresh, close
battle still props yah'll

[El Muffin]

mdesanto

opener concept was cool..but i just thought the delivery wasnt that effective..i see where u were going..snoop doesnt like you so he gave u a shitty opponent (in your opinion)

hair on the dick was wtf status..those are the kind of lines that work conceptually but when you see the final product..your like "maybe i shouldnt lol"

ive seen back slashed..red dot calm /com lines before..except it was a nameplay against a dude name com

i like the goal /arms raised /ice shit thought that was clever

wasnt feelin the closer


dystopian

ha liked the opener for some odd reason..ok misdirection

music industry was direct..not powerful in any way..but an ok jab i suppose.

wasnt feelin archives

checkered past was cool tho..

managing santas ranches..i didnt even bother to understand that shit..just came off lame to me. im sorry..similar to dudes dick hair shaving line lol

v/dystopian..opener and checkered history took this

[Hollywood]

arms raise

vs.

opener

Rudolph fences was a good creative attempt too, but it's bordering on forced. kind've works though

V/Dyst

he had a couple more 'almosts' IMO

[Jay]

If he wanna swing one me, Ill just tell this little bitch try it
Cause this battle is nothing like your name, you cant stop in the middle of dyin

vs

Coz I read some of your history, and son you were just as wack in past lives..
So Now Imma turn you into a painful memory like Lama did to the Netcees Archives.
Where you showed us no talent in battling, just came with straight faggotry,
How the fuck do you have such a checkered history, and not develop any stategy?

Mdes had alot of played bars and shit ive heard before especially in GTN. Felt he coulda came harder just of the nameplay alone but didnt use any personals except for the flip i quoted. Dys had the better material becuase he came with fresher concepts and landed better punches. i never seen the checkered punch so that was a cool wordplay. i think if Mdes comes with more personals, he can be a problem in the league.


vote Dys

[Dominate]

First time in an AOB battle, and this is my opponent? Fuck it ill go lightly..
Cause I feel like a blood with this match up, you can tell Sn00p doesn't like me
need to flesh out the punch concept more in the set up - make it clear that sn00p's showing he doesn't like you bc he gave u a wack opponent... it's an OK line but coulda hit harder if worded better
You named yourself after a fictional society, and its supposed to be scary as shit?
Fuck that, Ill let clips fly and leave ya with a close shave...like the hair on a dick
nah.. seen a few close shave lines before... also, try to make it a punch on both sides of the wp... like instead of saying 'like the hair on a dick' you could've set the line up about he's hairy as shit and girls think he's disgusting or something
When I got the glock palmed, you know its time to drop bombs
These bullets will leave ya back slashed when I aim with the dot calm
not a strong punch - more of a swag and flow line - but could've been an OK line with a better set up... for example you're saying you're calm when you aim, so in the set up you could contrast it with him being nervous/shaky... something like
'you're nervous and shaking whenever u got a glock palmed..
but me? I'll leave ya back slashed - I aim with the dot calm'
You like to act hard, but everybody knows youll never let the glock squeeze
So Ill leave you on ice when these arms raise, like I scored a goal in hockey
cool, best line of ur verse
If he wanna swing one me, Ill just tell this little bitch try it
Cause this battle is nothing like your name, you cant stop in the middle of dyin
almost - there's that 'a' in his name that doesn't fit... but still... but again you gotta set up the punch concept a bit better - 'can't stop in the middle of dying' needs to flow on conceptually from what you've said in your set up

You got potential my dude... for now I'd say just try to set your punch concepts up better so they'll hit harder

vs

Mdesanto? Wtf is that, spanish mexican? who allowed this foreigner?
I can"t pronounce your name idiot, but I'll make sure your pronounced dead by the coroner.
seen 'pronounced dead' lines before... this is slightly better bc of personal
You'll lose this miserably, dude Imma abuse you evilly,
Just chew you up and spit you out like the music industry.
nah, fillerish
Coz I read some of your history, and son you were just as wack in past lives..
So Now Imma turn you into a painful memory like Lama did to the Netcees Archives.
alright current event line... I didn't dislike it but it didn't do much for me either
Where you showed us no talent in battling, just came with straight faggotry,
How the fuck do you have such a checkered history, and not develop any stategy?
good. a wp i haven't seen before and flipped well
Ya styles make-believe, dissing Dys? You aint got the damnedest of chances,
This faggot couldnt even handle rude offences, if he was managing Santas ranches.
cool... liiiitle bit of a stretch but it works. another original wp

those last 2 lines were pretty good. Before that I was leaning to mdesanto, but u got it convincingly from those - best 2 lines of the battle. Good job.


v/ Dys

[~RustyGunZ~]

poorly worded hockey line

vs

checkered past and opener

v/dystopian
both need work, ideas are there just need better execution