Duel of the Cosmic Mic

Concrete · 10-23-2013, 07:56 AM

so this whole experience was quite freaky..
I heard something in the night, creaking
downright eerie as I saw lights blinking
and abruptly I was abducted by little green men!
Seeking to find a legit reason, I was pleading
- what the hell is the meaning?
they explained it to me easily
why I was taken, all of a sudden
instead of probing my ass, I was summoned
to represent humans in an intergalactic MC championship
so they brought me on board this immense battle-ship:

..and even before I fully figured the picture
I was faced off against a truly hideous creature:

"Greetings.."

it had a presence that was eerie
stepping in the arena, near me
seized a mic n started speaking
proceeding to give me a beating:

greetings - little sleeping being - keep dreaming
you think our species are equals? eat green feces!

I compose 20 luminous bars to entrap humanity in a large prison
feeble key-styles can't decipher you back to the star systems
harvesting harder wisdom, darker visions through unholy communions
screw your crew then, a union of humans is simply a fusion of mutants
consumed by toxic fumes, fuck these imprudent pollutants
doomed from womb to tomb
enslaved from cradle to grave
grave danger as I spit lethal infrared phrases
erasing any trace of the crazed and deranged
reigned by delusions - enslaved by confusion
hollowed like the Apollo that followed our flow n obeyed The Illusion
divine rhymes by sparkling techniques shall be your defeat
you archaic barbarian, the mark of the beast lies dormant
put your ego on the scope n observe the enormous morbid
a warning: colossal circle jerks forfeit the gorgeous orbits
vertebrate descendant, repent, sense heaven sent sentience
my swag is transcendence, you're the apprentice seeking attendance
make your amends then, you homo, Sapien - and fear the ethereal
we are eternal - our essence prevails
humanity? a fading plague
no traces remains as your flesh decays!

...

now, I wasn't really starstrucked
thinking..
it's time I put some bars up:

"Eyyo.. listen freak"

I forcibly wield the cosmic microphone like a lightsaber
mankinds life saviour, with a sharp tongue to slice aliens
i'm quite dangerous, and universally - yall some busters
adjust your trust n thrust towards the star clusters
from dusk to morning, the purple husks are falling
celestial stardust sprawling, i'm stayin' buzzed like Aldrin
inhaled exotic plants from inhabitable n toxic planets
brainstormed supernovas, asteroid swarms rocking havoc
watched the empty darkness, saw The Void as a softly canvas
got my rhymes locked on targets, that astral logic is damaged
peep the quasars, your vague phrases ain't beeping my radars
i'm flexing like Vader at the Deathstar - aiming at your text bars
deadly rhymepattern flows stellar, sequencing throughout galaxies
shape shifting capacities, making melodies into your maladies
balancing the subtle tone of my rap ballads into equilibrium
chakras oscillate ad infinitum, my soul embodies the elysium
entities may enter the abyss - a black hole is bottomless
and the Cosmos is too narrow.. to confine my consciousness

...

anticipating a concrete decision
considering..
did I complete the mission?
my verse rendered, the enemy to burning embers
yet in that burial chamber, stood a third contender:

"Meat.. meets machinery"

meat.. meets machinery reigns supremely
beaming beings gleaming the scenery
cyborg rappers hailing the hydrogen gasses
grandmasters arising in bio-hazardous ashes
clashes of titans like Gilgamesh n Goliath
fleshy defiants come n test or try us
dying is the solar point of the Soul ointment
disappointed? cope with our doper telescopes
peepin your people reachin feeble for needles
needless to reveal the secrets conserved
observing verbs hominid herds never heard
cloned sheep equals cheap microphone drones
proned to put the plasmatized chrome
to the phony n plasticized domes of your homes
tons of fun when stungun lasers erases
the faces of death - retrace the steps
through byzantine labyrinths
go backwards into the primordial
proverbial flows with cold drifts
emits global rips causing planetary pole shifts
cratedigging crescent moons after the impact
rigging the digets, we backtracked the syntax
limitless synthesis, rockin' bebop examples
amplifying raw beats of your blood samples
brandishing fear, we disappear, reappear
everywhere - from here to eternity
above all rules as we break the law of gravity
suspended thoughts beyond prodigy n insanity
the shuttle rebuttle your subtle tone
bringing bona fide equilibrium
to the space and time continium
not to be continued..
cause your future time to come is old news to us
rudimentary nuisances
get lost!

...

it was all so vivid and clear
before the visions disappeared
all aliens cheered, the stadium flared
when a radiant sphere brilliantly appeared:

then I was discharged..
from the baseship
along a large space brigde..

*blackout*

..awakened, dazed still
trying to retrace this..
it felt like a hazed dream
checking my mental state
feelings from perplex to amazed
an inscription.. next to my bed?
here is what the text said:

Quote:

we thank you for your entry to the set
but humanity ain't ready for this yet
metrical compositions evolves in phases
maybe a second chance - by the coming of ages

veritas · 10-23-2013, 09:06 AM

THIS WAS EXCELLENT. A WONDERFUL STORY. IN FACT THE PICTURES WERE WELL DONE AND THE LENGTH WAS NOT A PROBLEM IN THAT THE STORIES' COHESIVENESS FLOWED EXQUISITE.

INTERESTINGLY, YOUR LAST LINE IN THE QOUTES IS SYNCHRONISTIC TO MY PIECE ENTITLED "LIMBIC LIZARDS"...YOU SHOULD READ IT....MAYBE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE MESSAGE.

GODSPEED. REMEMBER THE FUTURE SIR.

Inno · 10-23-2013, 12:21 PM

Godam this was dope.

Will come back to feed properly when I get on a comp.

Mr. J · 10-23-2013, 02:10 PM

Pretty interesting piece I enjoy a great storyline
this was great from the start to the finish
read almost like a comic book with the pics added
the switch up on flows was great and your vocab usage...
Nice...great read...keep writing

Frank · 10-23-2013, 07:42 PM

diabolical portrait of space battle - added character machine almost threw a wrench in the works but you pushed the boundaries here. from a creativity stand point, with the pictures, and story line, this was one of the more creative pieces I've read in a long time. The actual content was pretty good but the contrast of voices with the different flows was very theatrical.

this kendrick lamar text style could work for you.

Concrete · 10-24-2013, 01:05 PM

Thank yall for dropping your thoughts on this.

Vulgar · 10-29-2013, 07:53 PM

lol this was quite entertaining. I didn't think you would keep my attention the whole way through but you did. Very creative concept and smooth execution. You were almost non-chalant with the way you told the story, rarely (if ever) faltering. When I saw 'meat, meets machine' I almost laughed out loud. Cyborgs for the win.

"I compose 20 luminous bars to entrap humanity in a large prison
feeble key-styles can't decipher you back to the star systems
harvesting harder wisdom, darker visions through unholy communions
screw your crew then, a union of humans is simply a fusion of mutants
consumed by toxic fumes, fuck these imprudent pollutants
doomed from womb to tomb
enslaved from cradle to grave
grave danger as I spit lethal infrared phrases
erasing any trace of the crazed and deranged"

^This was like listening to Canibus while drinking vanilla Pepsi. Fresh.

Keep doing it

Geno · 10-30-2013, 11:10 PM

I'm very curious, but its late. I will definitely be re-visiting this tomoro for propper readLfeed purposes.

Welcome aboard. Stay active

Concrete · 11-01-2013, 07:52 AM

Truly appreciate that comment Vulgar, as my goal is to write stuff that fascinates.

breathless · 11-01-2013, 01:34 PM

Holy shit man, this was something else. With the first piece the sheer lyrical content killed it and, honestly, set up the story that I was thinking, yea, right, this is gonna end up corny. But no, you pulled it off so well, I'm actually going to show this to my IRL friends that write. The way you used completely different styles for the different entities was incredible. It read so authentic. Sorta reminded me of some mass effect reapers type stuff with battling replacing the violence. I really liked the ending too with you not winning but being just good enough to allow humanity to continue for another chance. You had so many quotables throughout, but the line that had me dying was when the alien said "make your amends then homo... Sapien.

Fucking amazing

10-23-2013, 02:10 PM	#4
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Pretty interesting piece I enjoy a great storyline this was great from the start to the finish read almost like a comic book with the pics added the switch up on flows was great and your vocab usage... Nice...great read...keep writing __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

10-23-2013, 07:42 PM	#5
Frank Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 3,228 Champed - NWL Season 2 - Art of Writing League (5x) - Lime Green Poetry Association - AOWL Season 6 - AOWL Season 10 Rep Power: 3853347	diabolical portrait of space battle - added character machine almost threw a wrench in the works but you pushed the boundaries here. from a creativity stand point, with the pictures, and story line, this was one of the more creative pieces I've read in a long time. The actual content was pretty good but the contrast of voices with the different flows was very theatrical. this kendrick lamar text style could work for you. __________________ *VETWORK*

10-30-2013, 11:10 PM	#8
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	I'm very curious, but its late. I will definitely be re-visiting this tomoro for propper readLfeed purposes. Welcome aboard. Stay active __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

11-01-2013, 01:34 PM	#10
breathless Master of Beastiality Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Lansing, Mi Posts: 368 Battle Record: 4-6 Rep Power: 0	Holy shit man, this was something else. With the first piece the sheer lyrical content killed it and, honestly, set up the story that I was thinking, yea, right, this is gonna end up corny. But no, you pulled it off so well, I'm actually going to show this to my IRL friends that write. The way you used completely different styles for the different entities was incredible. It read so authentic. Sorta reminded me of some mass effect reapers type stuff with battling replacing the violence. I really liked the ending too with you not winning but being just good enough to allow humanity to continue for another chance. You had so many quotables throughout, but the line that had me dying was when the alien said "make your amends then homo... Sapien. Fucking amazing __________________ I used to be amazing... http://soundcloud.com/dancourser/sets

10-23-2013, 12:21 PM	#3
Inno Ad mini tator Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 10,025 Battle Record: 26-54 Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association - Black August - 1-2 Punch League Rep Power: 85899403	Godam this was dope. Will come back to feed properly when I get on a comp.

10-24-2013, 01:05 PM	#6
Concrete Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Oslo Posts: 179 Battle Record: 5-0 Rep Power: 2158978	Thank yall for dropping your thoughts on this.

10-29-2013, 07:53 PM	#7
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	lol this was quite entertaining. I didn't think you would keep my attention the whole way through but you did. Very creative concept and smooth execution. You were almost non-chalant with the way you told the story, rarely (if ever) faltering. When I saw 'meat, meets machine' I almost laughed out loud. Cyborgs for the win. "I compose 20 luminous bars to entrap humanity in a large prison feeble key-styles can't decipher you back to the star systems harvesting harder wisdom, darker visions through unholy communions screw your crew then, a union of humans is simply a fusion of mutants consumed by toxic fumes, fuck these imprudent pollutants doomed from womb to tomb enslaved from cradle to grave grave danger as I spit lethal infrared phrases erasing any trace of the crazed and deranged" ^This was like listening to Canibus while drinking vanilla Pepsi. Fresh. Keep doing it

11-01-2013, 07:52 AM	#9
Concrete Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Oslo Posts: 179 Battle Record: 5-0 Rep Power: 2158978	Truly appreciate that comment Vulgar, as my goal is to write stuff that fascinates.