ensō

[Pakistani Hand Cannon]

too willed, in my chariot, i might be hurtin.
shadows in the psyche lurkin
gotta hide it, keep a shiny surface.
…who can buffer it the most?
a mirage. a show. the mirror show
you lost your inner lustre; sunken & morose.
its been a while, inner child.
screams come up, from the undertow.
...& now you struggling with ghosts,
demons in the mist, tussling to host.
a gift from hades? maybe.
grip, slippin, shaky lately,
vaguely clutching onto hope.
& youont know if that liiiittle bit you got left that can feel??? can take the hit, shitttt
keep upping up the dose.
overburdened as a bitch, swear you ill-equipped,
to confront it; whats troubling your soul?
another substance, still tryna numb it
but it doesn’t stunt the growth.
over aversion to the suffering tuh cope;
to push away, brung decay
...i re-adjust & hug it close.


heart lit. how marvelous to not run.
how many hardships, carried in your consciousness? got tons.
bless your starship…could you drop one?
thought i was barkin up the wrong one.
my blood spilling under yggdrasil, she blossoms.
these human hurtz. who avert? i charge it to the cosm.


the universe is humming,
im just buzzing off the volts.
its fine; if you don’t overstand the thunder yet
it aint just another trope.
there’s wonder in your blunders
but your self judgement is a cloak.
i praise the good in you approach -
the self-loathing with compassion
see it unfolds to understanding,
don’t confuse, or rather lose, the subtle for the gross;
the ego bumbling, an oaf.
nobody walks the path perfect
keep stumbling. or float. free.
i know, most not with the chi, so here’s a key;
go see what’s bundled in your vaults.
this one from the goddess, to the godless.
promise, i can’t love it if it’s false.
...nobody love you with your faults.

could you do it for yourself?