Twin Tourney Topical Division Round 1: Etherwave vs Fraze - OPEN FOR VOTES!

[Dominate]

Welcome to the Twin Tourney - Topical Division!

We have eight competitors with their eye on the semi-finals round. Only four will progress. Do you have what it takes to survive?

Due Dates:

Verses this week are due Friday and will be open until Monday.
Battles that lack votes may close later.
One sided battles may get closed early.
Extensions are 24 hours

Line Limit: 16 Minimum, 32 Maximum

Topic:

@Etherwave @fraze

[Etherwave]

Heard...bruh. if I lose to chat gpt I retire my pen

[Dominate]

Last minute sign in - @fraze will replace ChatGPT here

[fraze]

in

[Etherwave]

Litttt

[Etherwave]

In a world completely emerged in emotion, where the future and discoveries were frozen in time. Just this moment to deal with the ozone, humanity had crossed a line. We had to turn to the ocean, all of our walls starting to close in, but we pretended it was fine.
Now our oxygen levels are growing low, and all of our weaknesses were showing. Our fate left to A.I.

The conspiracies they heard in whispers, were merely fantasies sown by childish men. And the theories found in the shadows, did us no good to chase, cause today our options weigh thin.

The least of us left to suffocate on the world that burned above, while the privileged waited it out in aquatic tombs,
Building under the waters after the floods.

The final war wages as I take this one last dive. Before the bombs are released, to shoot the Aliens from the sky. They say it'll be 100 years before we can go outside again and I'm not sure whats left of humanity will recover after watching everyone they loved helplessly die.

Journal entry-> December 6, 2059

Everyone is adjusting as well as expected.
Alone in their sections, memories on reel with too much time for self reflection. The battle of trying to understand the failures of something omnipotent and omnipresent.

We try to hold together pieces of our ancestors but 25 years has gone by so unexpected, and there's whispers about a future under water without fuel, our fates sealed, it's predestined. It's like the Gods are laughing at us. It seems so cruel, like our evolution has been rejected.


75 years remain before we can touch Earth again. But the selfishness and consumption that lead to this moment, have stayed. In our brains, questions about existence, burn into our days. The perseverance of man can't be watered down to one lesson.

But this is the hell we built. This is our tomb where we sit in the purgatory of our mental filth. The way we cut and filled and drilled, buildings to enjoy our tech and food and pills. We watched screens until we could barely feel, until we didn't even know what was actually real.

And we sit, in wait. It's been silence for days. Just the soft whisper of waves. And this place has become an asylum.

[fraze]

[Beat 1: Chorus & Intro]


[Chorus: Scuba Steve]:
If no man is an island, why I am feeling like Gilligan
Amid these reefs of coral who’ve seen years go by in millions
Scales shimmer, colors glimmer, can’t dim the divine brilliance
A moment in time suspended that defies capture by images

[Intro: Morgan Freeman]:
Before apes developed interests and primates became primitives
Before T. Rex reached the apex when the tyrants of the lizards lived
Before for the Devonian, when fish with bony limbs
Conquered land as the original amphibian Napoleons
Evolution’s secret weapon honed in on a course to win
With killing ways, a mouth full of razor blades, and dorsal fins
Custom made to bring pain and fill brains with more endorphins than
A season ending injury to Tua… to a Dolphins fan
If blood is in the water then I hope you got a coffin planned
“Heathens in this holy garden, you will not live off the land,”
A vision of Poseidon as he grips his spear tipped trident
Its glow reflected shining on teeth like rows of glinting diamonds

[Editor’s note]:
… Fade to black screen
… Change the bar scheme
… Cue the jaws theme:


[Jaws Interlude: King Shark]:
Best address me as your majesty or see the savagery
Be sad to see us swarm you like the savior seen by Sadducees
No time for diplomacy, we laugh at beef, we own the seas
Must be on reefer, coming on my reef thinking I’m on a leash
This scene I’m seein’ seems more picture perfect than the Mona Lis’
Ironically, this snack for me will be the Last Supper you’re gonna see
Known to be on the throne of beasts in H20, you found the king
It’s Deep Blue Sea going down again… and that’s what I’ll drown you in

[Beat 3: Outro]


[Outro: Iva the Survivor]
It happened so fast, happened so fast, it was all a surprise, I didn’t ask
When we stepped on the beach it was magic, sunrise immaculate, l didn’t have
Any reason for worry or gloom on our honeymoon, I remember his laugh
Confident smile and twinkling eyes, as we walked that rose petal strewn path
It happened so fast, “I know a place, promise it’s safe”, said he would guide
Captured the moment we started to dive. “Doesn’t it feel like the ocean’s alive?”
I remember the look on his face. Caught in the dream of together til time ends
Shattered alongside the bubbles chasing my screams as its jaws stretched behind him…

[Editor’s note]:
… Scenes deleted due to graphic content (and bar limit)

[ACTIVATE SELF]

Etherwave
I had to read your story a couple of times to really get a handle on what it was about. If I’m interpreting it right, it’s a post-apocalyptic narrative where a war between humans and aliens destroys the surface world. I’m guessing the bombs poisoned or irradiated the atmosphere so badly that the survivors were forced to build a refuge underwater. Correct me if I’m wrong, but that was the takeaway I got.

That said, I found some parts a little confusing because there seems to be a dual explanation for humanity’s downfall. On one hand, you focus on alien intervention, but on the other, you hint at humanity being its own worst enemy. For instance, lines like:

“But the selfishness and consumption that led to this moment”

Or:

“But this is the hell we built. This is our tomb where we sit in the purgatory of our mental filth. The way we cut and filled and drilled, buildings to enjoy our tech and food and pills. We watched screens until we could barely feel, until we didn't even know what was actually real.”

These are nicely written and packed with hard-hitting commentary on modern society. However, I wasn’t entirely sure how they fit within the larger context. If humanity’s underwater exile is primarily due to alien attacks, how much of our fate is really on us? Or is the story implying a mix of external destruction and self-inflicted consequences? Either way, I think clarifying that connection would make the narrative even stronger.

That said, I genuinely enjoyed the piece. The imagery is powerful, and your writing voice is smooth and engaging. The final line, in particular, was brilliant—it really captured the despair and claustrophobia of being trapped in what feels like an underwater tomb. You did a dope job building a vivid, thought-provoking world, and the somber tone stayed with me long after reading.

Faze
I’ll be honest—at first, I had no idea what your piece was about. I couldn’t tell if it was a song or a story. Then I went back, reread it, and paid more attention to the words in brackets. That’s when it clicked—this is structured like a song, but it’s really more of a screenplay, with each verse acting as narration or dialogue for different characters. Once I got that, the plot progression made way more sense.

I think you did a great job creating a fast-paced, high-energy atmosphere. The prehistoric scene read by Morgan Freeman; that was a standout moment—super creative and fun. The overall story, about a megalodon terrorizing the seas and even chomping on some newlyweds, was a solid concept. It had a playful, action-packed vibe, and I enjoyed the thematic wordplay sprinkled throughout. You had some clever references that landed really well, and your punchy writing style kept things entertaining.

Vote
This was a tough battle to judge because your styles were so different. Faze’s piece had a more traditional hip-hop structure, with a clean flow from start to finish. While I couldn’t fully sync it to a beat beyond the first few bars (probably a cadence thing), it was smooth overall. Etherwave, on the other hand, started with a solid scheme, though the second half leaned more into philosophical reflection than intricate rhyme patterns.

In the end, I’m giving it to Etherwave by a hair. Both pieces were strong, and I could see this going either way depending on the reader’s mood. Faze’s verse was playful, energetic, and packed with creativity, but I found myself more engaged with Etherwave’s somber, philosophical tone. Admittedly, that might just be because I’m reading this at night, and the mood really resonated with me. If I read Faze’s piece in the daylight, I might feel differently.

Either way, great job to both of you. This was a close and competitive battle, and you both brought something unique to the table.

[Dope girl]

This was even battle to me
both off the hook
Flows so tight
Etherwave flow a little more creative compared to faze

Vote Etherwave

[Dominate]

Etherwave:
This was an unexpected take on the topic, but it works well enough. I dug it. I just watched season one of Fallout recently and liked it a lot so I was happy to go back to that post apocalyptic theme here. I really liked the reference to leaving our fate to AI hahaha, very relevant. The alien line threw me - everything else about this pointed to humanity causing its own downfall, and then there was just this one reference to aliens which didn’t fit IMO. Either needed to be omitted or explored way more. Maybe you didn’t mean it as literal aliens. Idk. Anywayyyyy. There were lots of nice turns of phrase.

Everyone is adjusting as well as expected.
Alone in their sections, memories on reel with too much time for self reflection. The battle of trying to understand the failures of something omnipotent and omnipresent.

^highlight.

I’d love to see you using more syllables in your rhymes. It would really elevate your writing to the next level IMO.

Fraze:
Hello! I’m not familiar with you or your writing but I was very pleasantly surprised to instantly recognize that you’ve obviously got some skill and experience here. Flow, rhymes, thematic vocab all there in the first stanza before I even got really into the piece as a whole. Yay. Okay, now I’ve read it all through. Very cool take. I don’t think I’ve seen it done before like that actually - a handful of short verses from different perspectives on the same topic. The “Morgan freeman” narrator voice giving us a more detached/factual/scientific reflection on great white sharks, the shark himself, and then an attack survivor - which brought it home with the topic image. And all of them had distinct voices. Yeah I fucked with this, thought it was pretty dope.

Voting for fraze. Thought the connection to the topic was better/better explored, and the multi syllable rhymes are probably more important to me that most I guess but it is a big factor.

[symetrik]

ether:
cool take on a pretty light topic, really twisted it around and made something out of it which was dope. great flow mostly, a couple of rough patches (like "self reflection" might have flown better without "self") - very clear concept almost immediately from the start, and delivered on that concept consistently, plus told the outline of a big story, plus a little "snapshot" of a moment in time part of the way through without offering resolution (which actually worked well in this case bc it emphasized the lack of resolution for the subject)

fraze:
dunno that I've read your stuff before. I really liked the usage of voice indicators and even tho I didn't listen to the beats (bc I never do), the "this is who's speaking" alone was a BIG add to the read imo. it also helped clearly and immediately dictate to me exactly how you meant some of it to be read, predominately the morgan freeman section.

I think it went pretty... wide, setting a context in a documentary-esque way, introducing the "villain" in a little cameo plus "big bad rapper" vibe lol, and then introducing the actual meat of the story.

this might hurt you with some voters, but I'm a huge fan of the intri***y here - it's something fresh (at least to me and recent battles) and it gives me enough to piece it all together clearly without just dragging me down the prequel to the "honeymoon" story, which might honestly end up being boring - kept it sorta action packed, or at least suspense packed.

mvgt Fraze

[PancakeBrah]

I vote for Etherwave.

[Dominate]

Fraze wins 2-1