R.I.P Pamela Voohies

[Defy Gravity]

My Daddy said never let anything
happen to your mother, son
and I was motivated

Dysfunctional family values plagued
with domestic violence
Festering in silence and bowels, a
cesspool of nihilistic malice
His dialysis, my father was a
deranged rapist of sorts
Our attic was filled with an array of
homosapian corpses
His rage for women stent from his
wife estranged and ridged
A hockey fanatic whose veins carried
a strange resemblance
He prayed on the weak littering the
canvass in messy meat
The blade he used was sleek,
handleless with an edgy peak
Donning a painted mask, gray with
cut out eyeballs
His manhood would hang there
flaccid,
As he scrapped there brain to
dry skull/
Vietnam veteran, delusional and full
of hallucigans
Constantly needing his medicine as
his blood remained under a cooling
vent/
Self-discussions, screaming matches
with someone left him with comfort
Body full of welts and sunburns, hair
patches and a belly of stomach
worms
He trained me diligently, a teleporting
method that he used brilliantly
The only way to get a release is to
watch the razor slide thru meat
resiliently
I was anti-social, timid of mankind
with childlike vocals
With my friendships on standby, I
adapted to the wildlife like most do
Detectives were closing in as his
botched murders were closely linked
Our habitat was decorated with
mostly skin
that gave your eyes a grossly feast
All I remember was shots and sparks
and a Smokey discharge
Pops was reduced to flying body
parts with shrapnel dislodged
His dying monologue was about
scions and ancient ghost
How your spirit can never die off, just
transported to a vacant host
His body laid in many places roasted,
cops close in anxious
Never let anything happen to your
mother, son and I was motivated
I was taken away and eventually
given to my mother's custody
Her overprotective tendency had me
escaping to summer camp suddenly
Promises that in the fall we will try to
connect deeper
She wrote out a check, told me to run
along and respect the nice people
Swimming lessons were a drag
watching the counselor get groped
and kissed up
Who would have thought after 33
years I’d still be here never to be
picked up
My death continued without
interference,
Pops outer body method proved life
altering/
My disappearance sent mother in a
chilling awaken state like ice coffee
beans/
Forever frozen in the date of her
death, I broke my promise
Never can anyone stay in this camp it
remains the shrine of a goddess/
Wondering aimlessly, spreading
terror, my decaying flesh never rest
Now the mirror shows Mother's
favorite hockey player, masking his
many regrets/

R.I.P Pamela Voorhees...

your son

Jason

[Defy Gravity]

up

[Vulgar]

yo... the same problems plague you that I mentioned last time. You've got the instincts and the general welfare of a writer who knows what he's doing. Structure's gotta go, also every verse you write is almost written with the exact same tone. Concept-wise, you are a bright guy and can pen some innovative stories. Formula will improve as you further elevate your execution in some cases.

He trained me diligently, a teleporting
method that he used brilliantly
The only way to get a release is to
watch the razor slide thru meat
resiliently
I was anti-social, timid of mankind
with childlike vocals
With my friendships on standby, I
adapted to the wildlife like most do
Detectives were closing in as his
botched murders were closely linked
Our habitat was decorated with
mostly skin
^This part was nice.

I don't have anything else to say at the moment, tune in next week.

[Defy Gravity]

@Vulgar we need an epic topical battle of creative witts. shit a be godly.

[PancakeBrah]

i didnt like this. like, at all.

[Kaeo Seru]

I wasn't feeling the structure at first. kinda threw me off. but once i got into your flow it was easier to pace. some of your wording was a little weird but overall it was decent. I liked the imagery and the overall tone. gives a different perspective of the monolithic serial killer we've all come to fear and love. refreshing read.

[e11even]

I dont know you, but after that, it feels like
we live down the street from each other and have
things in common. Subject is enthralling but sad.
But like I said... I can relate in a few ways to the content.
Flow is not completely appealing but still pretty good effort.