WEEK FIVE: TIMELESS (1-3) vs NYCSPITZ (0-0) NYC WINS 4-0

[Adverse]

AOWL Season X WEEK FIVE

Verse Due: TUESDAY APRIL 26TH @ 11:59PM EST

@NYCSPITZ @timeless

Line min: 10

Max: 60


Rules: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150311

This week’s topics are song titles by my favorite band, The Wonder Years.

Topic:
“WOKE UP OLDER”


GOOD LUCK

[timeless]

Good luck my man. Good to see u back

[NYCSPITZ]

You cool with an ext timeless? I’ll have time to write something on wednesday evening.

[timeless]

Yeah hell yeah lol

[timeless]

Father Time's the same as he ever was, he hasn't skipped a beat.
Greeks used to call him Cronos, a bearded man with missing teeth.
A snake in his mouth was an ancient symbol for eternity.
Amazed at how tall he stood through the rifts and emergencies.
Helped everyone move on from tragedies and self-vacancies.
Patiently he's been waiting on fate to start chasing dreams.
Yet Time moves forward towards a dried up puddle of progression.
Since adolescence, he's been fueled by his brother's tough aggression.
Their parents were never really there, they had worked so hard.
Mother Earth and Father Sky kept the world away from a curtain's call.

Father Time and Brother Death, one to move on, one to pass through.
One to cue all towards emptiness, one that runs to catch you.
One gets a statue, the other keeps you awake at night.
Afraid and might piss your pants unless you stay to fight.
The brothers of life got along for awhile staking their claims.
Hitler had his go but Death ultimately erased it in vein.
Their Mother of Earth raising the tides and blaming the skies.
Father of the Sky making it rain hard and shaming the wife.
He called it climate change, she drafted divorce papers.
Either way, a doctor will get credit and an award later.

Our leaders are setting a bad example for the settlers.
Not politicians, earth wind and fire forever trample the senators.
If the world's features cannot stay together, they soon sever.
Then how are the people expected and presumed to do better?
They blame themselves for the floods, fires and hurricanes.
Climate change or not, we need to transpire and learn this maze.
As the sky's stuck counting stars, earth smiles with a .40 caliber.
A world divided, we note today's date has scorn the calendar...
...As the day that the sky fell into the earth, and time into death.
Existance now non-existant, yet what's not missing is a pile of stress.

[NYCSPITZ]

Breve Aevum

I wake up in a chair on my balcony next to the sea
wipe the crust from my eye…enjoying the ephemeral breeze.
Phew. I need medicine, dawg.
It’s like I’m suffering from some type of massive energy loss
Throw my hoodie on & walk fast out of my tenement block.
Spot a college chick walking sexily with books by the pier
“Goood morning baby! :)”
But all she said was
“Uhhh sure bud” -
then looked at me weird.
I shrug it off & head to Cafe Breve Aevum for some java & laughs
Been going for years. It’s almost like I’m part of the staff
Jessie’s sexy in her headband. I’m walking in, cruising with steez…
“Hey, Rosie the Riveter! I’ll have my usual, please.”
She gave a quizzical look, ignored me for a minute or two…
then walked up, confused with head cocked:
“Sir, would you like the counter or to sit at a booth?”
I took the counter. No flirty banter today? That’s her fucking loss.
but fear crept in as I ordered my meal. Something was off.
Manager Steve came through smiling -
“Hey Steve-O!!! what’s up with it dawg??”
But as if addressing a stranger…he asked me nice if I was staying at the pier
So I cursed, pushed him aside, went to the john & gazed in a mirror
My jaw dropped. nothing that my mind applied to this stuck
I’d aged 50 years overnight - that’s just my fucking luck.
During this turn of events, my face twisted to a nefarious frown -
I’ve got nothing to lose if I’m an octogenarian now…
So I rush out to my trusty pickup, & start to hone in on my vision
Storm into the doctor’s office & see my local physician -
Convinced the doc it was me after a hundred fervorous pleas:
“Mr. Spitz, you have one of those reverse benjamin button diseases
& You’ve only a year left before your suffering ceases.”
Thought to myself: “I’ll find a charity, n’ toss my loot & my riches
Nah fuck it. I’ll buy two Romanian prostitute bitches”
So I flew to Bucharest redlight, mingled in various sections -
As hoes earnestly creamed on my wrinkled & hairy erections
Set an offer on Fiverr to have a site designed at a cost
& created a website called grandpasfuckingdimes.com
As porno revenues poured in, I sharpened the math of my mission
Started a local fight club, with a Grandpa Division.
I was living lascivious, but I’d always slept better in Babylon…
Wrote a raunchy autobiography; now a bestseller on Amazon.
My fame rose…I met everyone in town who mattered at all
the mayor himself invited me to the annual ball
I shook hands with everyone. from rich snobs to men of the ghetto
Even saw Jessie & Steve from the cafe.
With tears in their eyes, they apologized for not recognizing my energy levels…
That’s when I took a sip of champagne, thinking I’ll retreat to my nook
my heart begging for more cocaine with the final beat that it took.
As I fell to the floor smiling I looked up at the resplendent lights
and calm washed all over me. You wanna know what death is like?
I was floating above them all - laughing in my heart as they screamed
They were making way too much of a fuss. It’s all just part of a dream..
I felt myself dissolve. Another adventure swerves on the round.
& For what felt like the thousandth time -
I’m Merging with God.

[Candy]

time:

i love the character choice chronos is dope and relation to your name in modern times, the lol is the last thing i watched was space jam right before i read this i was like hell yes - this piece just fell straight into my lap.. i love that you kept the order of what realm/era the character was set i didnt like the cross of hitler just because it wasnt as flushed as the rest but the story and development was off the chain.. and the final thoughts of the author/character.. dope

nyc:
story wise this was on a whole nother level, like 3/4 pure entertainment great devilery, great pace but you had this adolescents part which i ddint think you could drag the story back but you manage to pull enough of it not to hate that section but just dislike it, its just imo once your character throws aways his future part, like the throwing of the future was captured but it was just written a little less adult.. all in all though dope story dope flow.. i was diggen it..

vote = nycspitz

i think this was hard to decide cause it was one of those one if you both wrote the same lines timeless would have taken it but nyc just had the more entertaining verse as you read along.. congratz and gl

[Adverse]

Dope battle here gents. Let’s dig in and digest

Timeless - this verse seems like it had more time given to it then your others have this season, especially last week’s. Liked the little individual character studies of this dysfunctional family. The metaphoric language was a huge plus and though you don’t tell these traditional, linear stories with a clear beginning, middle and end I felt like it was still told in a way that kept the pace well, my only complaint is maybe there could have been more conflict or an explanation of why the sky fell into the earth? I did dig the ending though and the image of the sky crashing into the earth bringing time to death and kind of creating this family reunion. Good stuff

NYCSPITZ - I think this may have been the first NYC verse I’ve ever read. It was impressive. I liked the way how you brought the comedy here but were still able to tell this dope story at the same time. Your vocabulary was phenomenal. Words like “octogenarian” had me hitting up Google (you learn something new everyday I guess) I also liked that even though the character’s situation was fucked with him aging 50 years over night, that he had the time of his life with it and didn’t really miss a beat. Loved the end of even his death not seeming so bleak. Thought this was masterfully entertaining

I feel like ultimately I’ve said this before but timeless was just outboxed here. NYC was just too much for him and even though his verse wasn’t even bad necessarily, it was just outshined.

V/NYC

[ACTIVATE SELF]

Timeless
First, and foremost, I loved your end rhymes. Nothing read forced or out of place. None of them were super complicated or complex, but I really enjoyed how they all fit perfectly together like pieces of a puzzle. I read your verse out load and it had a real rhythmic feel to it. Dope stuff. As for the actual subject matter…well…I know it had something to do with the primordial deities of Ancient Greek mythology. I’m familiar with the story of Gaia (Mother Earth), and her husband Uranus (Sky), and of course their offspring Cronus (Father Time), but how they all fit together in your rendition of events is a bit ambiguous to me. However, I really enjoyed the interplay between Father Time and Brother Death.

NYCSPITZ
I thought your story was super entertaining and very well written from beginning to end. The comedy alone was enough to win most battles. With that said, I remember popping shroom back in the day, and while tripping, I experienced what seemed to be at time, my own death. Coincidently, that experience was almost identical to what you described in your final six lines. And after connecting with your verse on that level, I find it pretty hard to vote against you here.

Highly entertaining battle. Props to both.

Vote — NYCSPITZ

[Dominate]

Timeless,
This was your best verse so far this season IMO. Cool take on the topic. Good flow, pretty good rhymes. This was a pretty solid verse.

NYC,
So glad you actually showed. Hope you’ll stay in. So you went super literal with the topic but what you then did with that was very creative. You had a lot of fun here. Very engaging and humorous all the way through. Mechanically very smooth too which helps. Thought this was pretty dope.


NYC had the more engaging verse to me. Voting for him.