First Song... Roasts, Opinions, Feedback?

Lenox · 04-11-2021, 03:55 AM

https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/oKH5LbKgFRjhmxTGA

Geno · 04-11-2021, 06:39 AM

Initial impression...Mix needs some work. vocals need upped or instro needs down.

Lenox · 04-11-2021, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by White Earl

Initial impression...Mix needs some work. vocals need upped or instro needs down.

thanks. any positives?

Ouch · 04-11-2021, 12:05 PM

good beat..... uhhh ya flow isnt mucb,,, I didn't look what wyou werre sahng but I bet it was garbarge... but beat sounded ok and if you could spit itd be str8

Lenox · 04-11-2021, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ouch

good beat..... uhhh ya flow isnt mucb,,, I didn't look what wyou werre sahng but I bet it was garbarge... but beat sounded ok and if you could spit itd be str8

i can def spit but thanks for the feedback

Lenox · 04-11-2021, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ouch

good beat..... uhhh ya flow isnt mucb,,, I didn't look what wyou werre sahng but I bet it was garbarge... but beat sounded ok and if you could spit itd be str8

mind you this was my first song and recorded verse ever. i flowed over it ogod enough but with practice and more songs i think the delivery will be improved

Answer · 04-11-2021, 01:55 PM

the upside is you've got a decent voice and i dont think your delivery or presence are bad, but the flow definitely needs work. Not really a fan of the beat choice either tbh

Lenox · 04-11-2021, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Answer

the upside is you've got a decent voice and i dont think your delivery or presence are bad, but the flow definitely needs work. Not really a fan of the beat choice either tbh

thanks bro

Lenox · 04-11-2021, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Answer

the upside is you've got a decent voice and i dont think your delivery or presence are bad, but the flow definitely needs work. Not really a fan of the beat choice either tbh

do you think with more songs and more experience with recording i’ll improve flow wise

Ghost1 · 04-11-2021, 02:54 PM

Nah practicing a specific skill over time has been proven to regress the practitioners capabilities actually. You're fucked idiot.

Lenox · 04-11-2021, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost1

Nah practicing a specific skill over time has been proven to regress the practitioners capabilities actually. You're fucked idiot.

how u doin bags, also do u have a link to the NC discord bro? was looking to join

DMS · 04-11-2021, 10:07 PM

Jon really made this whole thread to pick out positive shit and help with poor self-image. The bars lack a bit and it's a basic as fuck song.

Ghost1 · 04-12-2021, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenox

how u doin bags, also do u have a link to the NC discord bro? was looking to join

Lol pretty dece

I may have it in my inbox I'll check

Ghost1 · 04-11-2021, 02:55 PM

And I'm pretty sure that you can't say fag or steelo in 2021

Lenox · 04-11-2021, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost1

And I'm pretty sure that you can't say fag or steelo in 2021

lmfaoooooooo

Pakistani Hand Cannon · 04-12-2021, 12:03 AM

flows nice in my opinion - def got a lil sketchy in areas ("dunno how to act i just lie" & couple bars following it were off up until "dont rip track i move weight..." & then onwards its butter. - on the whole its straight, unorthodox, but im with that.

everthing else is just generic though - nothin overly whack - but nothin particularly nice either.

i wasnt mad at it.

i also still say steelo - fuck what year it is.

Lenox · 04-12-2021, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pakistani Hand Cannon

flows nice in my opinion - def got a lil sketchy in areas ("dunno how to act i just lie" & couple bars following it were off up until "dont rip track i move weight..." & then onwards its butter. - on the whole its straight, unorthodox, but im with that.

everthing else is just generic though - nothin overly whack - but nothin particularly nice either.

i wasnt mad at it.

i also still say steelo - fuck what year it is.

thx g, so yea for my first track i was only focused on flowing over it and not the content of what i was saying. thank u for listening means a lot

Ajax · 04-12-2021, 08:57 AM

The commentary at the end came off pretty corny and unnecessary. You don’t need to tell a random listener to suck your dick for no reason.

The track itself was ok. Not bad, by any means. I think it could use some re-takes, because in a couple spots the flow slipped, but the flow in general was solid enough.. What was really missing was delivery — you didn’t sound amped enough. But, that will come with practice, and some of that is definitely a mixing issue... all in all, this was pretty cool. Definitely a good foundation.

Lenox · 04-12-2021, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ajax

The commentary at the end came off pretty corny and unnecessary. You don’t need to tell a random listener to suck your dick for no reason.

The track itself was ok. Not bad, by any means. I think it could use some re-takes, because in a couple spots the flow slipped, but the flow in general was solid enough.. What was really missing was delivery — you didn’t sound amped enough. But, that will come with practice, and some of that is definitely a mixing issue... all in all, this was pretty cool. Definitely a good foundation.

thanks dude, also yea i didn’t know wtf to say at the end it kinda just came out rofl

The Dead Poet · 04-12-2021, 12:38 PM

Beats cool. Your raps sound like you didn't write it to the beat. It comes off like a text, which is why I hate text rappers over beats normally lol. Your voice wasn't that bad. Delivery was cool. It just really comes off like someone reciting a text over a beat. Work on that shit. peace.

04-11-2021, 06:39 AM	#2
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	Initial impression...Mix needs some work. vocals need upped or instro needs down. __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

04-11-2021, 12:05 PM	#4
Ouch Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2019 Posts: 5,677 Battle Record: 1-5 Accomplishments - Lost to Kill Spree Champed - Wall Talking Rep Power: 4052255	good beat..... uhhh ya flow isnt mucb,,, I didn't look what wyou werre sahng but I bet it was garbarge... but beat sounded ok and if you could spit itd be str8 __________________ I just figured out how to change this.

04-12-2021, 08:57 AM	#18
Ajax Senior Member Join Date: May 2020 Posts: 344 Battle Record: 5-4 Rep Power: 95150	The commentary at the end came off pretty corny and unnecessary. You don’t need to tell a random listener to suck your dick for no reason. The track itself was ok. Not bad, by any means. I think it could use some re-takes, because in a couple spots the flow slipped, but the flow in general was solid enough.. What was really missing was delivery — you didn’t sound amped enough. But, that will come with practice, and some of that is definitely a mixing issue... all in all, this was pretty cool. Definitely a good foundation. __________________ https://soundcloud.com/ajaxinstrumentals Last edited by Ajax; 04-12-2021 at 09:00 AM.

04-12-2021, 12:38 PM	#20
The Dead Poet Senior Member Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 1,138 Rep Power: 22468539	Beats cool. Your raps sound like you didn't write it to the beat. It comes off like a text, which is why I hate text rappers over beats normally lol. Your voice wasn't that bad. Delivery was cool. It just really comes off like someone reciting a text over a beat. Work on that shit. peace. __________________ https://soundcloud.com/rafael-jesus-martinez

04-11-2021, 01:55 PM	#7
Answer He / Him / His Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 1,701 Battle Record: 20-1 Champed - Summer Classic IX - Netcees Battle League - Fight night 15 Rep Power: 14633673	the upside is you've got a decent voice and i dont think your delivery or presence are bad, but the flow definitely needs work. Not really a fan of the beat choice either tbh

04-12-2021, 12:03 AM	#16
Pakistani Hand Cannon Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 1,230 Rep Power: 5303583	flows nice in my opinion - def got a lil sketchy in areas ("dunno how to act i just lie" & couple bars following it were off up until "dont rip track i move weight..." & then onwards its butter. - on the whole its straight, unorthodox, but im with that. everthing else is just generic though - nothin overly whack - but nothin particularly nice either. i wasnt mad at it. i also still say steelo - fuck what year it is.