Failing to Fail

Artifice · 05-06-2020, 09:38 PM

This was a piece I wrote as a potential back-up when Lars ran the STI tournament back in 2016. Ironically the battle I had this written for ended up being a No Show, not sure why I never sent it in tbh. Either way, feedback appreciated.

though it seems like a great gift, man i'd be depressed
if every risk i took would shapeshift into guaranteed success
i'd grow vexed, watching all of my failures escape me
perishing with the free will i once felt there so innately
embarrasment cedes, becomes apparent to me
that reward was born in the hunt to cherish & seize
from the hollow of victory follows an epiphany
a win that could lose, truth embalmed into mystery
when attempting to fail no doubt i've got to succeed
plotting a paradox & watch it sprout illogical seeds
if winning at failing's the same as failing to win
playing games against myself, every turn the table will spin
tryin' to beat bein' unbeatable's an erroneous trick
for my futurama be stuck racin' on a mobius strip
& people stare, wondering why the champ is grinning
cuz never failing means what i've lost... is the chance of winning

Exis · 05-06-2020, 09:53 PM

Raw...I read this over a 'Pac beat, shit was flames imo, could be high but whatever lol...8 thumbs up!

Stay you fam...

veritas · 05-06-2020, 11:41 PM

Yeah I enjoyed this. The topic was an excellent paradox and you handled it with swagger.

& people stare, wondering why the champ is grinning
cuz never failing means what i've lost... is the chance of winning

This is a cool thought for the conclusion. language is funny.

Johnny 6 feet · 05-07-2020, 07:04 AM

Loved your take on the topic. First time I've read a piece about the virtues of losing. I noticed you've got a great knack for vocab choice and this piece was no different. Even in this short piece you established the personality of the narrator and wrapped it up with a great punchline that had me grinning like the champ. Really good.

See Scar's interview in the mag? We're the first battle dropped this week in GWL and he's calling it a contender for Battle of the Week. Pretty cool.

Keep active man. I'll keep replying.

-6

05-06-2020, 09:38 PM	#1
Artifice Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2016 Posts: 269 Battle Record: 17-9 Champed - Art Of Writing League - GWL Picture Challenge Rep Power: 3944949	Failing to Fail This was a piece I wrote as a potential back-up when Lars ran the STI tournament back in 2016. Ironically the battle I had this written for ended up being a No Show, not sure why I never sent it in tbh. Either way, feedback appreciated. though it seems like a great gift, man i'd be depressed if every risk i took would shapeshift into guaranteed success i'd grow vexed, watching all of my failures escape me perishing with the free will i once felt there so innately embarrasment cedes, becomes apparent to me that reward was born in the hunt to cherish & seize from the hollow of victory follows an epiphany a win that could lose, truth embalmed into mystery when attempting to fail no doubt i've got to succeed plotting a paradox & watch it sprout illogical seeds if winning at failing's the same as failing to win playing games against myself, every turn the table will spin tryin' to beat bein' unbeatable's an erroneous trick for my futurama be stuck racin' on a mobius strip & people stare, wondering why the champ is grinning cuz never failing means what i've lost... is the chance of winning

05-06-2020, 09:53 PM	#2
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	Raw...I read this over a 'Pac beat, shit was flames imo, could be high but whatever lol...8 thumbs up! Stay you fam...

05-07-2020, 07:04 AM	#4
Johnny 6 feet Storyteller Join Date: May 2020 Posts: 446 Battle Record: 8-4 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League Rep Power: 5558447	Loved your take on the topic. First time I've read a piece about the virtues of losing. I noticed you've got a great knack for vocab choice and this piece was no different. Even in this short piece you established the personality of the narrator and wrapped it up with a great punchline that had me grinning like the champ. Really good. See Scar's interview in the mag? We're the first battle dropped this week in GWL and he's calling it a contender for Battle of the Week. Pretty cool. Keep active man. I'll keep replying. -6