Dreams of fucking the popular schoolgirl

[Quarter O]

Dreams of fucking the popular schoolgirl
"I'm just playin'... but I'm sayin'" (4x)

It must've been the 8th grade, my hay days, fall - it rained, stained/ my slacks n shoes back to school, students making paper planes/ I stayed engaged in drawing on my desk, my safe haven/ too shy for play dating, 'fore I rocked the egg shape/ baldy I rocked the box fade, artistic nerd/ like Arthur from comics, rocked goggles wasn't popular (word?)/ Hard to believe isn't? Wait don't answer that/ my self esteeme lowers as I channel back those awkward years/ of the birds n bees not learned from parents 'member 3rd period/ blood on the seat, sum girl had her period/ never found out who did it, a perv with a woody,/ but ain't no what to do with it, no flirting no gushy stuff/ my friend gave me a page, from his dads mag collection/ no more reading rainbow, now what I imagined spread/ just knew Kristen Terry was thicker than a snicker tearing/ her school picture carefully glued to a bitch missionary.

Dreams of fucking the popular schoolgirl
"I'm just playin'... but I'm sayin'" (4x)

I dream lucid whenever I eat tuna/ on a late night had a dream I rescued her from King koopa/ ..boss stage on my N64/ id get 50 more lives to beat it till 'ventually I scored/... French class she would enter the door/ If I learned anything, she was mi amour/, she turned around and asked for a pen damn near pee'd my drawz/... this must mean the loves mutual at least I thought/ gave it to her this very moment saw curcuits that sparked/ the ink that bled through it's my way leaving my permanent mark/ stuck in my head other scenarios I could've said/ could've fell on one knee and gave her a ring pop instead/ or wrote a note, tell her to circle what you on/, you like me? Yes or no my daydreams I go from urkle to staphon/ the perfect girl exquisite in a perfect world I'd hit it/ her thighs start to show when her skirt gets hemmed sum inches/. like tennis with Serenna, body of a high schooler/ in my growing porn stash 'magining ways that I'd do her/... a candle lit bubble bath listening to Brandy/ in a oversized robe with a cigar all manly/, but i choked. A candle caught her hair on fire, she screamed/, I can't even get it right in my dreams/ Bonita Applebum, I'd give her my applesauce/ crawl the school vents. Watch her tinkle in the bathroom stall.

Dreams of fucking the popular schoolgirl
"I'm just playin'... but I'm sayin'" (4x)

I dIdn't get touched by the catholic priest and given his almond joy to a squirrel/ porn saved me, now boy meets world/ fuck Saturday morning cartoons and eggs thats scrambled/ I was busy fine tuning the scrambled channels/ I was stealing porn mags out of Barnes n nobles/ instead of singing I love you over Barneys vocals/ sheltered as fuck, stuck in my shell, wanted something to feel/ 'round the time Em stuck nine inch nails/, in his eyelids and asked if I liked violence/ actually believe it was, a bit before 9-6/ when we had pizza for lunch in the cafeteria/ school assembly Kristen Terry was a ballerina fah/ a play one evening, swear to god the way she was springing, with grace dog good JEsus/ them grown ass adults should be ashamed, the way they was thinking/ body cold but what was cold. That slick prank when/ some one called me as her. Next day hugging Nick Franklin/ BITCH.

Dreams of fucking the popular schoolgirl
"I'm just playin'... but I'm sayin'" (4x)

Bridge
Got mixed emotion for this chick it's been unspoken/ but your skin alone got dark chicks wanting mixed skin lotion/ like "apply it every day" I watched her play one day got upset/ when she flipped me off ... As my school bus left./

Was heart breaking man

[Darius Da Terrible]

Alot of the stuff you spittin is very relatable for the most part. I like the fact that you were very specific on the details and the scenery. Brings you in for real

Could've flipped cleaner multi-syllables but thats just my personal bias.

for example "sheltered as fuck, stuck in my shell, wanted something to feel/.... 'round the time Em stuck nine inch nails" could've flowed better like
"sheltered as fuck, I was stuck... in my shell, wanted something... I could feel/.... 'round the time Em stuck nine inch nails/


I was stealing porn mags out of Barnes n nobles/ you was singing I love you over Barneys vocals

Tight line but seemed like a battle diss. kinda out of place for a sentimental kinda vibe i was feeling. But the line was playful and kept it fun too. So mixed feelings

over all man I give it a 6.5/10

I love the idea and the introspection but the flow needs a lil work.

[Quarter O]

Good lookin bro..preciate the honesty but the flow is there trust me.. my shit just doesnt translate well thru text..text really dont do it much justice..Just wanted to get feedback on the bars since im resetting my studio set up. But that doesnt make sense in itself since i just said my flow dont translate well thru text lol..shit...well..fuck it..ill be recording this soon if u care enough to listen or stick around...1

[Quarter O]

@Darius Da Terrible I added another verse and tightened up the flow... whatchu think now?

[Darius Da Terrible]

That new verse flowed much better through text. Imagery still on point. I like the improvement honestly