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#1 |
............
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,934
Battle Record: 3-3
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Ayo,
Sacrifice a pig your bitch some kids before the end of time appears I'm near the Antichrist is this leave every being more than lifeless here I'll make you question your own existence whilst takin' a knife to wrists forget ribs strapped with packs of ice after I land some Guile like kick I'll roundhouse you off of my atlas rotate your posture all backwards as you fly from off of the side of it and get completely lost in the blackness you shouldn't lie your sick you couldn't rhyme as if, in all honesty if I was you I would rather die than live I spit the vilest shit, so vulgar revoltin' insultin' or worse no matter how you fuckin' look at it I'm cold with my words I'm built like an ox your the opposite tryna topple this God is preposterous I'll fully pole axe you herbs, y'all a couple billion stone throws from first if I was to verse you fuckers I'm strong enough to punch a hole thru the dirt and stop the rotation of earth's circumference I'm down for right now, wrong side 'round straight up turn your stomach like the birth of a burden's comin' insurgents have placed sperm that is cursed inside your babygirl's virgin tummy burst thru the surface all murderous purposely erasin' the smirks from dummies fuck a surgical face lift I'll completely pulverise yours and leave you permanently faceless there's no turnin' the tables on me I run circles 'round squares you just wish we were reversed in our places as it's absurd to be where you are sittin' with all this uncertainty there whilst observin' the best from afar I'll bitch slap you from off this worlds curvature hurtlin' you into where destiny's dark. I guess you'll fare best in the ark. assuming your membership, as this flow dismembers shit with 40 days worth of bars. Leave you in a haze, dazed, torn apart. your home razed with only a gaze from this star. I'm the primordial son, catch that as the terra forms your terror, the error's born as scourge of the forever's back. This theme is forever black. Think you can fare a wave like you hailing cabs? I'll palm strike your spinal column out the stack and into shambles, each disc split, spit as if I'd never react. please pretend you hold a candle. with wit I leave em dripping blood like a wick with the wax. I throw fits like I'm hurling comets at your residual mass. the stars align as I belittle you, a dwarf lit in my path. But, if it's of any consolation, You are but a star in a sum of my parts, I start life with a spark of creation, You can't outshine the fact that I'm a constellation. Let the tables revolve. My sphere of influence dares, do you get involved? the bars of your single cell is but a molecular cause. this is a trajectory collision, vehicular slaughter. I'll turn your goofy clique into murder mystery solvers. turpentine as your listerine, blissfully I'll snip the barber. "A little off the top"- the coroner report and my mental recorder. I'mma make you famous. world renowned. make me mad and I'll make you minced... drag your corpse a la Achilles- the world around |
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#2 |
V.V
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20
Rep Power: 6247259 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Dope shit bro. Thanks for the opportunity.
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Ahem. |
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#3 |
............
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,934
Battle Record: 3-3
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Anyone...?
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#4 | ||
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,608
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II
Rep Power: 85899396 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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This had a real old skool "AIM Cypher" freestyles keystyled up in the reply box feel to it that I liked!
I also enjoyed the whole kinda "broken-down bar" flow to it, not sure if everyone will catch it while reading it in text but the two of you place more emphasis on flow than a lot of text heads do, and I for one dig that. Quote:
Vividlyvague went offffffffff with that whole interstellar scheme, I thought that was ill! I'd have probably used "If it's any constellation" instead of consolation as a malopropism, but I saw you used constellation anyway a little later on. No real reason for it, it just would have amused myself in the middle of the scheme to do that. Lol. Quote:
Overall you two meshed real nicely, similar styles and whatnot in execution. Very enjoyable read and somewhat of a nostalgic feel to it from my early first days of text. Keep those pens moving!
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- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season) |
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#5 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,956
Battle Record: 6 - 14
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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i could be wrong, but i get the feeling that this style is somewhat different than what you both usually do.
pretty cool. my fav part from each stanza (caught my eye/ear): you shouldn't lie your sick you couldn't rhyme as if, in all honesty if I was you I would rather die than live I spit the vilest shit, & this is a trajectory collision, vehicular slaughter. I'll turn your goofy clique into murder mystery solvers. |
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#6 |
............
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,934
Battle Record: 3-3
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Thanks, & Lars also...appreciated.
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