|
01-12-2021, 10:42 AM | #1 |
NJ Devil
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 12,042
Battle Record: Who Cares
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Rep Power: 84181417 |
Rnd 1 - Blue Bayou vs Eviction - OPEN FOR VOTES
8 lines due tonight 1/12/21
__________________
Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk |
01-12-2021, 11:35 AM | #2 |
Detained
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 1,838
Battle Record: 16-11
Rep Power: 0 |
check
|
01-12-2021, 12:18 PM | #3 |
Detained
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 1,838
Battle Record: 16-11
Rep Power: 0 |
You’re always the last in competitions until I close your casket.
As far as value? I’m mint condition and you’re open plastic. Blue light, the way I’m cooking him, it’s like I see him as fresh meat. Cuz after I spend the night w/ his girl he’ll have to use one of those on the bed sheet. He keeps acting hard, but he’s softer than cloth you can sew in a fabric. Because blue constantly stinks up the place like mold in the attic. We ain’t in the same pedigree, you beating me would be a true shocker. Fuck evictions I barricade doors, that’s a fucking blue, blocker. |
01-12-2021, 10:31 PM | #4 |
Ukrainian Howlitzers
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 5,091
Battle Record: 41-24
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - NBL Season 3
- Alias Tournament II
- Fight Night XLVIII
- Fight Night XXV
- Fight Night XV
- Fight Night (3x)
- Netcees Battle League (4x)
- NBL Tag Team Season 3
- Lyric Olympics
- 1-2 Punch League (3x)
- Battle Arena League (2x)
- Key Grand Prix 2018 1/2
- BA Tag
- NPL Roast
- Netcees Pic League
Rep Power: 17502332 |
Do you mean a black light you fat fucking loser??
Eviction aka Dia sick . . still livin’ w/ mom & dad because of “debt repayment” on NC you’re a Low Level Boarder. in real life you rent the basement Dia wasn’t a dumb enough name to come out of ya mouth?! cool alias tho, perfect for when they finally kick you outta the house too embarrassed to have ppl over for some chow & grub when it comes to feeding frenzy’s never able to stop eating around his chums nothin’ but a slimy swamp guy with a tiny cock size ex let him down gently but it takes the whole staff everytime he rock climbs |
01-13-2021, 08:26 AM | #5 |
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
Champed - The Ultimate Writer
- NBL Cypher
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 12601535 |
You’re always the last in competitions until I close your casket.
As far as value? I’m mint condition and you’re open plastic. this is light but reads nice. Nothing really interesting, unexpected etc here Blue light, the way I’m cooking him, it’s like I see him as fresh meat. Cuz after I spend the night w/ his girl he’ll have to use one of those on the bed sheet. 'blue light' is so far removed from the punchline the bar feels a bit disjointed. Not a bad concept but execution isn't great He keeps acting hard, but he’s softer than cloth you can sew in a fabric. Because blue constantly stinks up the place like mold in the attic. I'm all for ridiculous end rhymes but 'sew in a fabric' makes me wonder if anyone else reads setups. Feels like a complete waste. Could be used to prime the reader for the punch instead of being unrelated, existing only for the rhyme We ain’t in the same pedigree, you beating me would be a true shocker. Fuck evictions I barricade doors, that’s a fucking blue, blocker. my understanding of blue blocker is that they're the glasses that block blue light? I don't see how it's related at all aside from blue and blocker being able to fit next to each other and make grammatical sense Do you mean a black light you fat fucking loser?? well this doesn't feel kosher... I know you didn't mean anything by it but people have been dq'd for less Eviction aka Dia sick . . still livin’ w/ mom & dad because of “debt repayment” on NC you’re a Low Level Boarder. in real life you rent the basement considering I haven't read a dia bar in a minute I could be wrong, but this is a pretty fresh use of the personal angles Dia wasn’t a dumb enough name to come out of ya mouth?! cool alias tho, perfect for when they finally kick you outta the house okay too embarrassed to have ppl over for some chow & grub when it comes to feeding frenzy’s never able to stop eating around his chums this is light to me, but I respect the consistency within the verse of not doing a bar about him having no friends. nothin’ but a slimy swamp guy with a tiny cock size ex let him down gently but it takes the whole staff everytime he rock climbs gone Blue had stronger bars with the opener and closer. Props to dia for not making a stink about the blue light stuff V/blue |
01-13-2021, 01:59 PM | #6 | ||
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 913
Battle Record: 14-24
Rep Power: 32898723 |
Quote:
Close: blue light, mold Being a little generous but I like the development I see in your verse. Not the greatest concepts but your writing has gotten better. Quote:
You let off the gas in the second half but your opener was strong enough. Vote: Blue Bayou Closer than I would have expected but in a 4 bar battle any misses hurt a lot. Blue has strong fundamentals and opened with a really well written bar. He didn't do a lot after that, but all of Evictions hits were light. Battle really boils down to opener vs opener and Blue's was better. |
||
01-12-2021, 10:41 PM | #7 |
low tide in serotonin bay
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,750
Battle Record: 37-28
Champed - GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League
- Black August II
Rep Power: 15446143 |
Eviction I say this sincerely but I didn’t think this verse was good. Along with mixing blue light up with black light that punch didn’t say shit. Mold in the attic was some generic shit and after that nothing was really noteworthy
Can tell Blue went pretty easy here feeding frenzies was a decent wp opener was decent and though the Eviction line is low hanging fruit but I enjoyed it overall Blue got this and it wasn’t even close imo V/Blue |
01-12-2021, 10:44 PM | #8 |
Spoiled brat
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Detroit
Posts: 1,997
Battle Record: 25-3
Champed - Now Or Never 2020
- Netcees Pic League
- NPL Season I
- Netcees Battle League
- NBL Season XV
Rep Power: 83701997 |
Eviction was easy reading, blue light line was decent, gonna give you a pass on calling it blue instead of black because I get what you meant. Everything else was super simple and light, and the closer was a no.
Blue had a nice key. Basement was cool and kicked out of the house was a nice play on the name. Feeding frenzy’s isn’t my cup of tea and rock climbing was lol. Nice key right there Blue got this comfy. |
01-12-2021, 10:49 PM | #9 |
Detained
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 1,838
Battle Record: 16-11
Rep Power: 0 |
UV and blue light lamps enable crime scene investigators and forensic labs to see fingerprints that were developed with fluorescent materials. When exposed to UV or blue light sources, bodily fluids and fluorescent-treated blood samples glow brightly and become easy to view.
correction |
01-12-2021, 10:51 PM | #10 | |
Spoiled brat
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Detroit
Posts: 1,997
Battle Record: 25-3
Champed - Now Or Never 2020
- Netcees Pic League
- NPL Season I
- Netcees Battle League
- NBL Season XV
Rep Power: 83701997 |
Quote:
|
|
01-12-2021, 10:52 PM | #11 |
Detained
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 1,838
Battle Record: 16-11
Rep Power: 0 |
|
01-12-2021, 10:52 PM | #12 |
Bags will be avenged
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 12,622
Battle Record: 85-58
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
- 1-2 Punch League (5x)
- Fight Night LXXIX
- Fight Night 4
- Netcees Battle League (2x)
- NPL Roast
Rep Power: 84181418 |
blues opener was enough
why would he use any light on the sheets? stink up the place was horrible, just no how many times do you think he’s seen blue blocker? v/blue bayou |
01-12-2021, 10:58 PM | #13 |
consults Lloyd
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,075
Battle Record: 0-8
Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast
Rep Power: 39345601 |
Vote - Blue
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) |
01-12-2021, 11:07 PM | #14 |
SDub
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,877
Battle Record: 40-34
Champed - Alias Tourney III (Heroes vs. Villians)
- Fight Night LXIV
- Netcees Battle League
Rep Power: 64920324 |
Blue's opener destroyed.
V/ BB |
01-12-2021, 11:39 PM | #15 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 480
Battle Record: 7-12
Rep Power: 1856619 |
You’re always the last in competitions until I close your casket.
As far as value? I’m mint condition and you’re open plastic. Statement Blue light, the way I’m cooking him, it’s like I see him as fresh meat. Cuz after I spend the night w/ his girl he’ll have to use one of those on the bed sheet. Blue light is good concept but wrong approach here.. could have been better with some other execution He keeps acting hard, but he’s softer than cloth you can sew in a fabric. Because blue constantly stinks up the place like mold in the attic. Metaphors there just not hitting We ain’t in the same pedigree, you beating me would be a true shocker. Fuck evictions I barricade doors, that’s a fucking blue, blocker. I'm not getting this here Vs. still livin’ w/ mom & dad because of “debt repayment” on NC you’re a Low Level Boarder. in real life you rent the basement Cool Dia wasn’t a dumb enough name to come out of ya mouth?! cool alias tho, perfect for when they finally kick you outta the house Eh too embarrassed to have ppl over for some chow & grub when it comes to feeding frenzy’s never able to stop eating around his chums Ok nothin’ but a slimy swamp guy with a tiny cock size ex let him down gently but it takes the whole staff everytime he rock climbs Oka Blue |
01-13-2021, 01:04 AM | #16 | |
Detained
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 1,838
Battle Record: 16-11
Rep Power: 0 |
Quote:
congrats blue you got me. |
|
01-13-2021, 02:08 AM | #17 |
K I N G
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 685
Battle Record: 15-10
Rep Power: 3228862 |
Eviction -
opener was cool, kinda statementy, blue light was cool, wasnt a fan of much after that, but it read well, i dont wanna short you on that - multi's were there, rhyme scheme was good, just didnt HIT for me. Blue - idk who dia is, kinda learning as i go in this match but it seems like a real solid personal with the basement line from what I'm gathering here, feeding frenzy was ok, alias line was bang, closer was cool/but kinda lukewarm as an ending, i might've switched the order up a bit but that's just me dude still, handily giving this to Blue
__________________
First Class |
01-13-2021, 03:23 AM | #18 |
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 35
Rep Power: 203309 |
Blue got it. Though that LLB concepts familiar, it still had impact here in this case
chums hit too Evic you put bars together well enough, flips are light imo Blue np was ok Vote - BB |
01-13-2021, 09:53 AM | #19 |
As-salamu alaykum!
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 8,470
Battle Record: 19-8
Champed - 1-2 Punch League Season 6
Rep Power: 0 |
Blue opener and 2nd bar sealed the W here. Sheesh, lol.
|
|
|