Taras Shevchenko

[sral]

vs. Damien Prince for the BBE Topical Title




It’s no mere illusion. This home here had used to house Taras Shevchenko —
the man was a deft poet inspired by the pastures and hedgerows
that lavished it’s threshold. This quiet retreat had all a writer could need
as the blossoming youth grew as wild and as free as its idyllic trees.
His mind was at ease here, finding a peace in its tranquil sojourns
and on the days no visitors happened to call, he sat with his thoughts
drafting as always. A craftsman and storyteller of intricate rhymes
who didn’t just write, but ensured that he brought every image to life.
The windows were eyes to a world of wonder he peered from within
Its fields were akin to his playground; The scenery rich with experiences
and teeming with inspiration drawn from all that he sees.
Yet the grass wasn’t always as green as some may, of course, have believed.
The neighbours bordering near his home had an opposite view
where he saw opulent beauty, they saw only plains to conquer and rule.
There were constant disputes over the territorial land and it’s borders —
the neighbouring families warmongering meant he felt like a lamb to the slaughter.
Taras was an author whose sonnets spoke the words he couldn’t muster
especially when stood in front of a good for nothing like Mother Russia.
A drunkard looking for annexed victim to monopolise
as hollow inside as the old dead trees sat across the divide.
When your only prospect in life is one of survival, you have to question
the act of whether you stand and take it — or take a stand against it.
Taras Shevchenko wrote “The Caucasus” in 1845
against an organised imperialistic war where Ukrainians fought and died.
Yet today his story finds itself as poignant as ever
both neighbours embroiled in an endless dispute over the same soil he remembered.
The voice of a generation,
His words couldn’t be tempered or calmed
and will be echoed regardless for as long as they’re held in their hearts.
He’ll be forever regarded as an incredible artist, but it should be known
Ukraine was more than simply his homeland.
This was his home.
The imagery shown here’s dedicated to memories of his legacy
with every scene showing that although he’s now gone, he will never leave.

Rest In Peace,
Taras Shevchenko
9th March 1814 - 10th March 1861

[Objective]

Thoroughly enjoyed this read, best Ive read on here in a whilr because of its contents and story, I love shit like this and it is inspiring. Might try to write and ode to one of my fav poets as well, at least this piece motivates me to do so.

On to the feedback as I noticed a couple of things that didbt sit right with me for some reason on the nitpicking bit. Feel free to correct me if you think im off. Im mainly thinking of this:

His mind was at ease here, finding a peace in its tranquil sojourns
and on the days no visitors happened to call, he sat with his thoughts
^the comma and cut off seem a bit awkward to me. It cuts a bit fast to "finding a peace here". Maybe just adding "he's finding a peace" would make it less so. On the second line, why didnt you start with "he sat with his thoughts on days nobody called". To me that would set the tone for the situation he's mentally before expanding.

That couplet was a bit off to me compared to the rest of your piece, for example this is exceptionally great to me in comparison:

A craftsman and storyteller of intricate rhymes
who didn’t just write, but ensured that he brought every image to life.
The windows were eyes to a world of wonder he peered from within

Also this in regards of flow considering flow:
Taras Shevchenko wrote “The Caucasus” in 1845
^ why not '45 instead of the long 1845 when spoken out loud? And perhaps "fpught and THEN died" to connect sybbalistic with forty to then rhyme with five? Just some questions I made while reading you may be able to clear up for me.

Overall I loved this. Inspiring cus I love shit like this altho I can see why not many on the site would get drawn to reading it in its entirety due to the nature and chill atmosphere about a poet and its tranquil mood despite the dramatic storyline throughoit