Week 3 - Nigma v Objective - O WINS

[zygote]

Challenge League contest page

Submissions are due WEDNESDAY at 23:59 Pacific Daylight/Standard Time.
Extensions are due THURSDAY at 23:59 Pacific Daylight/Standard Time.
You must vote on at least 3 other battles, for every absent vote, you will be deducted one vote next week.

Voting ends Sunday at 11:59 Pacific Daylight/Standard Time.
If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.

WEEKLY MEMO : Greetings competitors, we move to the most open-ended challenge of the league. HYPOTHETICAL COLLABORATION WEEK, each contest will be provided with 1 hyperlink to an open mic page. You are required to write in response to your hyperlink. As compensation for the nature of the topics (and the cries of “the voters didn’t understand it!”) you have the option to include a concise explanation along with your submission this week. Find below your match-ups and specific tasks.

SPECIFIC WRITING TASK : (7 v 2) Nigma v Objective. TASK: http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=3612

[Nigma]

I say we got the best topic this week. Check, lets get creative

[Objective]

Word. Checking in.

[Nigma]

@Objective do you need an ext?

[Objective]

Originally Posted by Nigma

@Objective do you need an ext?

It's not like I wont show if I don't get an extension, but inspiration hasn't hit yet.. In regards of that it would be nice with an extension. Up to you man.

[Nigma]

I'm feeling the same way tbh, haven't been feelin it. Could force something out but I feel if we both let it ferment it would be a better battle. Extension subliminally asked for and physically granted.

[Objective]

.............................................. Scattered.
......................Tattered
Plastered.

HAMMERED.......................................... ..................
BASTARD........................................... .................................................. ....
............................................... answered

YOU. So what does it do?

Order? Organized crime? Morals, isn't it sublime? What if I destroyed it and take what I felt is mine, would that be fine? Does it matter if I captivate your universe? Will you disperse? I mean, particles follows the law of science, the only thing that isn't made by man. So what is the grand plan? Do you think animals differentiate China from Japan? Like, Goddamn.. Religion is a flaw, I'm sorry to say so but humanity picked the shortest straw. All you think about is flow, a flow of what? A flow of life, lexicons piece and coherent meanings? What about oblivious rite and/or nonsensical strife? If so; go search for the name of a hexagons wife. If you want to figure it out you're wasting your time, cuz it doesn't mean shit except for being a line. As long as it's flowing, most people are fine, it's easy to lie, but I've never declined that I'm defining the crime..

So humans got the brain... Which in turn allows me to complain,
Just look at Abel versus Kain, South Korea versus North, it's fuckin' insane.
Congratulations, we're the same, wether collective or as individuals,
but that statement of yours resembles indians and their crazy rituals.
Formed a piece into an I, it looks beautiful, it's candy for the eyes,
In my honest opinion ... It's imperfection in disguise.
Our brains conform to a certain standard that turns OCD into passion,
passion turns evil when greed finance people who's afraid to take action.
What's the point of life? To simply be living? Come on, I aint that forgivin,
so far I've been told to take chances which basicly boils down to sinnin'.
If 99% listened to the naive nature and perfection of the piece itself,
you'd find me and Lexicon contemplating how to escape this morbid hell.
You'd find me and the written paper on the shelf as humanity is lacking wealth,
but who cares as long as the 1% got extremely good health?
See? The tables are turned, we're reserved to conform to what people have ''earned'',
once you open your eyes and observe you'll see nothing but the bridges that burned.
And if we all is the center of the universe, fuck, it sucks to be a burden,
and neither of you will amount to shit cuz in the end of it all;
LIFE is MY servant.

[Nigma]

The Life of E





Mistake starting in 88, the martian who made me great parted and made his way
Was this a kick to tainted ways or maybe saving grace which strengthens pain
The nameless fake to take his place was blatantly vactant when he raised me
The shame of embracing a baby that aint got his traits was makin him hate E
True, I was a wise youth
Who grew into a shy dude
Ruined my insides the signs
An idol who despises you
Duelling my mind to find
My tools for survival
Hooligan at minor ages
Few detained arrivals
Derival? Pride pent in me
Crimes Dead on Arrival
Di-ssecting designs to
Disguise primal energy
Wise, violent tendencies
Eventually gradded highschool but wasn't growning up
Said fuck a solo cup, chug the bottle whole at once
Until I grow so drunk I'd throw a punch and go at
My own friends If eyes don't hone no foe to crunch
Fell in an insane pit
Felt my aimin change
It zoned into my brain
Quit goin through the same..
SHIT, grow into the greatest
Flow, begin with basics
Then go beyond the cages
From prose to poet, paint
With the soul to show the way
If I'm pissed I'm goin apeshit
But I can shift and alter
Twist a topic, obviously
Sick and coughin AIDS BITCH!
Quickly writing left me lifted from the darkness and positioned in a grey smudge
Outgrew abusive ways, the same shits fuelling my rage, maintained in my brain
Drained anger contained, change pain into bravery ten mens penance escape stuck
Veteran with the pen and the paper, E is in the center of what LEGENDS are made of

[Mike Wrecka]

ok cool battle here. you both matched the flow of the original almost flawlessly. both pieces had the same cadence of the lexicon verse. not sure if that was intentional or not

objective - I liked the direction you took. the paragraph section wasn't as good as the short bar section imo. you got philosophical to a degree which was cool, examining human nature. the structure was ok not great, and the end rhymes were a little basic. this piece could have used more multis.

nigma- you took a different while similar direction. if that makes sense. instead of looking at human nature as a whole on a global scale like objective did you looked at human nature in an individual. yourself. the flow was good. I hated , hated, hated the font. made the whole post look immature when in reality it wasn't at all. I had to force myself to overcome that and see it for what it was. and I was able to because im awesome. anyway you got a tad lazy here and there

My tools for survival
Hooligan at minor ages
Few detained arrivals
Derival? Pride pent in me
Crimes Dead on Arrival

using arrival twice like that, I understand is on purpose and used for effect but it came off lazy to me. and survival and arrival are too easy of rhymes.

overall I liked the piece though. stuff like this

True, I was a wise youth
Who grew into a shy dude
Ruined my insides the signs
An idol who despises you

cool


overall- the end rhyming, flow and structure were about even imo. so im gonna go on the topic I enjoyed more which was objective. was a little more poignant and had a more powerful message. good work guys thanks for the reads.

[Flow]

I feel nigma rushed his. It was a great drop mind but that's due to his abilities as a writer as opposed to effort, apologies if @Nigma you disagree but that's just how it came across. The lines were well too short to build any momentum an while it flowed effortlessly it was way to simple with mostly end rhymes an no internals. I liked the direction you took the piece and I think this is probably the hardest task so far so respect for that. Objective, you went into overdrive and it didn't do you favours. I think you flowed of the original piece nicely but I wasn't a fan of the switch in styles half way through. I personally prefered the second but think the first was also good but again the switch in style
Just came off a tad shabby and killed any momentum.

I went a bit hard on critique I did feel though you both delivered impressively on content but I'm a vote objective cue I felt the effort more in his drop along with a more enjoyable flow.

Vote obj

[patrown]

/v obj- i like how you ended this. observations of how fucked we all are rarely end on an inspirational note. well done, there. i was a little thrown off by the format, and almost feel as if it means something. and what is a hexagons wife? heh. a riddle within a verse. i like that. anyway, i think you took the cake here with sincerity and the effort you put in. no complaints.

nigma - i'm pretty sure there's something i'm missing here, with the whole meaning.. and the significance of E. but i can relate to your character's plight. i too, used to get "punch drunk." gotta watch that. i like the way you worded a lot of this, for instance..

The nameless fake to take his place was blatantly vactant when he raised me
The shame of embracing a baby that aint got his traits was makin him hate E

that flowed very well. i think grasping your metaphor would have made the shorter bars make more sense. but i just didn't get some of this. not your fault so still, good drop.

[Red glare]

objective

scattered, plastered, tattered, hammered, bastard, answer.
^
dope fragment.

finished your rant -
while your verse did not touch a profound note, it struck a activist chord that helped parachute you and your piece, back pack and all - past the podium of propaganda onto the porch of the preacherhood. Your enthusiasm was excellent, your execution eh. your message - multifaceted. your multies? lacking.

So humans got the brain... Which in turn allows me to complain,
Just look at Abel versus Kain

What's the point of life? To simply be living? Come on, I aint that forgivin,
so far I've been told to take chances which basicly boils down to sinnin'.

Creative format, perhaps more creative then the content.

Nigma.

Your E could've used a longer middle line. Wasn't a good E.

mistake starting in 88, the martian who made me great parted and made his way
Was this a kick to tainted ways or maybe saving grace which strengthens pain
The nameless fake to take his place was blatantly vactant when he raised me
The shame of embracing a baby that aint got his traits was makin him hate E
True, I was a wise youth
Who grew into a shy dude
Ruined my insides the signs
An idol who despises you
Duelling my mind to find
My tools for survival
Hooligan at minor ages
Few detained arrivals
Derival? Pride pent
in me Crimes Dead on ArrivalDi-ssecting designs to Disguise primal energy
Wise, violent tendenciesEventually gradded highschool but wasn't growning
up Said fuck a solo cup, chug the bottle whole at onceUntil I grow so drunk
I'd throw a punch and go at My own friends If eyes don't hone no foe to
crunch Fell in an insane pit
Felt my aimin change
It zoned into my brain
Quit goin through the same..
SHIT, grow into the greatest
Flow, begin with basics
Then go beyond the cages
From prose to poet, paint
With the soul to show the way
If I'm pissed I'm goin apeshit
But I can shift and alter
Twist a topic, obviously
Sick and coughin AIDS BITCH!
Quickly writing left me lifted from the darkness and positioned in a grey smudge
Outgrew abusive ways, the same shits fuelling my rage, maintained in my brain
Drained anger contained, change pain into bravery ten mens penance escape stuck
Veteran with the pen and the paper, E is in the center of what LEGENDS are made of

thats how I do my E's

vote goes to objective, for writing with a greater purpose in life

[Certain]

Objective: You did a tremendous job of sounding provocative, which isn't an insult. In order to be provocative, you have to sound provocative. I didn't much care for the paragraph section, where you were a bit more basic and less provocative-sound. But I did like the traditional section. You didn't break any philosophical ground or anything, and I'm not sure your conclusion was entirely justified by the rest of your verse. And your rhyme schemes and mechanics in general definitely need to be touched up or, in spots, nearly completely overhauled. Particularly on an abstract verse like this, I'm looking for that extra layer of complexity across the board. But there were a lot of interesting thoughts and several strong word choices mixed into this verse. I enjoyed reading it. It made me think, even if it didn't make me realize anything in particular.

Nigma: I really liked this verse. There were a few forced rhymes, to be sure, but I got the picture you were going for of self-exploration and the conceited finish tied in well with what Lexicon seemed to be doing with his own verse. You were exploring how you ended up where you are. The flow and rhyme scheme were strong, and I didn't feel like you forced too heavily on the E-structure of the verse. I thought the second half of the stem was a little weaker, as you were bragging more, but again, I think Lexicon's verse was focused on personal identity. The stuff about your father and stepfather was interestingly (and well-) phrased. The one big criticism I have was the font. You should want people to notice your words more than your presentation, even when you're doing something structurally interesting like the E. The design of the verse would have come through just fine in the normal font.

Vote: Nigma

[Dagel is a biter]

Objective, took me awhile to get into this piece. I think it's the language you used. (Wording, flow, attitude ect.) The constant pauses after what seemed like every 2-3 words. It seemed like for the vast majority of your piece you were trying some narration style and in honesty it really didn't click with me. I've read some dope pieces by you which is one of the reasons this one disappointed me because I just couldn't really sink into it. The idea was cool, a bit too abstract for my taste personally. But hey! To each their own. Sorry dude. I still respect you as a writer but didn't click here.

Nigma, damn! That flow really went in dude! I was liking this for the most part on a technical standpoint. Really didn't think your storytelling was all that significant seeing as you hardly have depth from beginning to middle to end. But the wording and the rhyme scheme was great in my opinion. Especially that middle portion. There were a few lines here and there that kinda tripped off the scheme and sketched out the flow but you jumped right back in afterwards. Cool piece man.

Overall I have Nigma taking this battle, just enjoyed his more.