Model Citizen

Mr. J · 08-19-2014, 06:00 PM

Allow me to adjust my antenna it's been awhile eh rapper?
Eh actors, a rapture the multitude of Coney Island
A couple factors are below me lyin' can someone show me crisis?
the eye of Isis, the fates, the oracle, this is Agent Smith
take it in, I uphold the balance in the Matrix, say what again?
I'll put a bullet in that pulp's fiction, who are you major with?
whom is your tailor, Bitch! don't you know I'm the greatest since...
Ali made rounds 'round the world, death to ya and make it swift
make it fast and put your thoughts at ease, you can't stop the beast
silver bullet in my hand ready to open the gate and wash the meek
push me off the beach and watch me greet the strength of Poseidon
my illiterate rising to immortality in the shells I'm hiding
make an ill remark twice, find your head in a vice a la Joe Pesci
heavy is the heart that holds that fault the crown is so heavy

Vulgar · 08-23-2014, 09:02 PM

find your head in a vice a la Joe Pesci
heavy is the heart that holds that fault the crown is so heavy
^Interesting turn of phrase there.

Pinot Grij · 08-24-2014, 06:31 PM

As a braggadocio piece, this is pretty weak. Very forgettable.

Split · 08-25-2014, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. J

push me off the beach and watch me greet the strength of Poseidon
my illiterate rising to immortality in the shells I'm hiding
make an ill remark twice, find your head in a vice a la Joe Pesci
heavy is the heart that holds that fault the crown is so heavy

DOPE. last line was weird, but still, dope.

love how you scheme your stuff, man. and the imagery/ concepts were on point here. thought the fates/oracle/ matrix progression was cool, you really kept it moving & didn't dwell too long on anything at all. Always enjoyed how rapidfire your writing was.

keep keyin Q

08-19-2014, 06:00 PM	#1
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Model Citizen Allow me to adjust my antenna it's been awhile eh rapper? Eh actors, a rapture the multitude of Coney Island A couple factors are below me lyin' can someone show me crisis? the eye of Isis, the fates, the oracle, this is Agent Smith take it in, I uphold the balance in the Matrix, say what again? I'll put a bullet in that pulp's fiction, who are you major with? whom is your tailor, Bitch! don't you know I'm the greatest since... Ali made rounds 'round the world, death to ya and make it swift make it fast and put your thoughts at ease, you can't stop the beast silver bullet in my hand ready to open the gate and wash the meek push me off the beach and watch me greet the strength of Poseidon my illiterate rising to immortality in the shells I'm hiding make an ill remark twice, find your head in a vice a la Joe Pesci heavy is the heart that holds that fault the crown is so heavy __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

08-24-2014, 06:31 PM	#3
Pinot Grij Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 863 Battle Record: 23-19 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night 2 - Write Week V - Netcees Battle League (2x) - Winter Topical II - 1-2 Punch league Rep Power: 29195064	As a braggadocio piece, this is pretty weak. Very forgettable. __________________ Topical C.R.E.A.M.

08-23-2014, 09:02 PM	#2
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	find your head in a vice a la Joe Pesci heavy is the heart that holds that fault the crown is so heavy ^Interesting turn of phrase there.