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Old 05-01-2014, 05:44 PM   #1
Mike Wrecka
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Default We Have Awoke a Sleeping Giant

the warning signs were there, but we remained defiant,
now our actions have awoken a sleeping giant,
that laid dormant for years, keeping completely silent,
till provoked by those opposed to seeking guidance,
and the few that did seek guidance found only teachers teaching violence,
so we were led down a crooked path by believing science,
and as they try to backpedal all these retreating tyrants,
will pay dearly for turning all the trees into papyrus,
many will suffer, infected by a sinister virus,
but lets keep turning a blind eye like were missing an iris,
while failing to realize that what were actually missing is kindness,
we got off track, like our species has a twisted alignment,
so this askewed view has created a mission that's timeless,
meaning were out of time, so if we don't become a victim of climate,
well still be trapped on a dying planet, like a prison confinement,
listen by my own admission we are pitifully spineless,
as the jellyfish in polluted water, swimming in silence,
we rape the earth, then cook the harvest on a kitchen appliance,
the backlash? we feel the wrath that the guardian brings,
marooned by monsoons caused by coastal flooding,
lightning flashes, the sky lets out a thunderous sound,
as acid rain washed all our dreams onto the ground,
see when you consume the bloom all day, then still pray for nectar,
nature fights back, till your whole sector is full of doomsday preppers,
we extract and replace with waste, in landfills and dumps,
then act surprised getting hit with superstorms like every two months,
in the end were gonna lose, reaching critical mass is how,
id say that's what the future holds but its happening right now!
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Old 05-01-2014, 07:21 PM   #2
Geno
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Default

many will suffer, infected by a sinister virus,
but lets keep turning a blind eye like were missing an iris,
while failing to realize that what were actually missing is kindness,
we got off track, like our species has a twisted alignment,

really enjoyed that spot.

good read, whats up my brother?
i need to start writing again :/ holla
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Old 05-04-2014, 07:24 PM   #3
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Wrecka View Post
the warning signs were there, but we remained defiant,
now our actions have awoken a sleeping giant,
that laid dormant for years, keeping completely silent,
till provoked by those opposed to seeking guidance,

and the few that did seek guidance found only teachers teaching violence,
so we were led down a crooked path by believing science,
and as they try to backpedal all these retreating tyrants,
will pay dearly for turning all the trees into papyrus,
many will suffer, infected by a sinister virus,
but lets keep turning a blind eye like were missing an iris,
while failing to realize that what were actually missing is kindness,
we got off track, like our species has a twisted alignment,

so this askewed view has created a mission that's timeless,
meaning were out of time, so if we don't become a victim of climate,
well still be trapped on a dying planet, like a prison confinement,
listen by my own admission we are pitifully spineless,
as the jellyfish in polluted water, swimming in silence,
we rape the earth, then cook the harvest on a kitchen appliance,

the backlash? we feel the wrath that the guardian brings,
marooned by monsoons caused by coastal flooding,
lightning flashes, the sky lets out a thunderous sound,
as acid rain washed all our dreams onto the ground,

see when you consume the bloom all day, then still pray for nectar,
nature fights back, till your whole sector is full of doomsday preppers,
we extract and replace with waste, in landfills and dumps,
then act surprised getting hit with superstorms like every two months,
in the end were gonna lose, reaching critical mass is how,
id say that's what the future holds but its happening right now!
I liked it a lot. Too many raps on here wit no soul. This was real tho.

Favourites in bold.

Write more man.

Last edited by Illume; 05-04-2014 at 07:28 PM.
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Old 05-10-2014, 07:30 AM   #4
Mike Wrecka
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Default

uppers
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Old 05-10-2014, 06:44 PM   #5
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Default

Overall i liked it alot, a few lines stood out, being very well written.

that laid dormant for years, keeping completely silent,
till provoked by those opposed to seeking guidance,

listen by my own admission we are pitifully spineless,
as the jellyfish in polluted water, swimming in silence,
we rape the earth, then cook the harvest on a kitchen appliance

as acid rain washed all our dreams onto the ground* -makes me think brainwash, awesome line

we extract and replace with waste, in landfills and dumps, -this line was nice
then act surprised getting hit with superstorms like every two months, -this line didn't follow up the expectations laid by the previous line, for me
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Old 07-31-2014, 06:04 PM   #6
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Not bad at all, your multies were very good, The story sounds so real. Keep it up
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Old 07-31-2014, 06:15 PM   #7
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Old 08-05-2014, 11:14 PM   #8
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and as they try to backpedal all these retreating tyrants,
will pay dearly for turning all the trees into papyrus,
^Pretty cool stuff here.

It actually had a purpose and a point it was trying to convey. The rhyming was the highlight towards the middle, and the part I quoted above is interesting, because it refers to all humanity as tyrannical, since we use trees for our own benefit, forging our own unique, yet destructive tree of life.

Judging this from a critical standpoint, it wasn't wholly original and it didn't really cover any new ground. It's traditional rap styled which means it's written well, just not as out of the box as I prefer, but this is just my preference.

Keep doing you
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