the Portrait of Dr. Cenotaph

[Vulgar]

A\

[Paradigm]

Villains rush in with antidotes and thrills of sustenance
A pianist's nimble fingers weren't built to hunt with
Kidney transplant costlier than the final bill for Sputnik

Dope.

Genocide is bottomless... exorcise what knowledge is
Chills up your proverbial spine from the Seven Tribes of Novelists

I feel like the first line is especially relevant right now in today's society #freepalestine

Theres prolly a bunch of irony and innuendos im missing in your verse im just to drunk to notice right now bu i caught on to the ones i quotes here at first read.

[veritas]

Sketch up the Kierkegaard flight manuals

do you know what his final words were?

[gitto138]

The soul's departure from the body is prearranged; a token of gratitude
for hosting the rabble, ruse and giving toasts to the crass, amused
The rotary bladder screws were supposed to be fastened, tuned
to an engine-metal cast in a steel cased projection
Bless these rental caps from the free-baser dentist
Meet the portrait of Dr. Cenotaph, and his real grave expression
Heel raising tension - if you feel shaken, lessen
the locomotion of death: each wheel makes the flesh grim

Opening art words flowed dope yo from wat i can make out
tats real shit man coherent and imaginative tallent

[Zen]

Originally Posted by Paradigm

Genocide is bottomless... exorcise what knowledge is
Chills up your proverbial spine from the Seven Tribes of Novelists

I feel like the first line is especially relevant right now in today's society #freepalestine

Agreed.

I always like reading your verses because afterwards I feel smarter, sort of like I just read a few classic from World Lit II that was then condensed down to thirty something lines. And it rhymes which makes it even cooler lol

The first stanza's flow was on point, especially when you added some inner rhymes like the heel raising tension line. That line was dope. My favorite stanza though was the second one. "My tailbone beat me to the stairs" is dope as fuck, but really I could tell by the end of it you had hit your stride around the area that Paradigm quoted. Those lines floated off the tongue with no effort whatsoever. Got dat butter flow, nawmsaying?

But if I had to critique something it's that I don't really know what this is all about. I have an idea, but I smoked allot of pot last night so it's probably wrong lol. The way I saw it is that this Dr. Cenotaph is dying so he's getting fucked up and thinking on life. Well to be more accurate the history of mankind and see's that history is written by dead men who died for a "cause".
Genocide is bottomless... exorcise what knowledge is

I identified my targets as viceroy relics, slain and shot

A false estimation which may differ in each country
it's no wonder the skeleton of our generation speaks bluntly
^^Those were the lines that made me think that.

Like I said, I might be wrong and mostly likely am. Still, I enjoyed this as always. Keep dropping Vulgar.

[Pharaohs Army]

top notch. very creative. at this moment i can't give you any suggestions on this verse bcuz it was sick

[Eŋg]

i did not at all like your use of the comma to fragment syntax and maintain a rhyme scheme. i've done it, admittedly, and i'm usually good at masking it between flowery abstractions or a less obviously contrived slice of rhyme-smith. i.e. once in a four mile radius. you did it a few times in the first stanza - as if you were making a point. idk. i do like structure. i appreciate meter, i hate studying it. i just noticed your comma breaks and didn't like them so i wrote a preamble to that effect. how unnecessary, right?

always a pleasure to sample the bizarre combination of words you put together for rhythm... the potent imagery they conjure and abstract concepts are knitted together in a whimsical narrative often boasting an overarching theme, if not several slivers of morality in between the fantasy. or both, why not? you have your style, and it IS very much yours, down to a science.

Meet the portrait of Dr. Cenotaph, and his real grave expression

Don't be needlessly embarrassed, since an outstretched psalm
can go out on a grotesque limb & reach toward the cloud drenched fog

those were both clever, amongst others. i remember reading your poetry and occasionally seeing inspired treatment of well-tread ideas or phrases having undergone a slight, or violent, paradigm shift. it's arguably the most reverential aspect of your pen. to me, at least. this might be the only second time i've seen Kierkegaard mentioned in this OM. i can't remember where the first came from. this was more typical of your writing than the one i read last... the b-hop one -- which was still dope, and had your style, but it felt like you'd refined yourself to be more easily consumed/accessible, a compromise i've rarely seen you make, if ever (outside of that piece) but it matched the object you wrote about. the rhyming was really crisp, although i took the slightest of issues with banker bloc/shangri la. i said it to myself a few times and suppose it works. anyway, back to the last piece i read from you, and this one -- i think i'm seeing a wit develop in your pieces with greater prevalence than i can remember. it compliments the already-established staples of your writing very well. it's dope. continue to sharpen it.

so was this an allusion or allegory to recent events? it could have been something more timeless, less topical. conditions are common. not sure if it was rhetoric, or not, or which way it hoped to bend the ear/sway impressions.

thanks for the read, all the same.