NBL Week 16 Magazine by Meth ft. Atomic & Sharp Nine (7/9/13)

Intro

Hello all of you fucking faggots. We had an ok week last week. I'd like to personally thank @Sharp Nine for watching over my precious NBL while I was away for the weekend. The champ match was solid. Definitely better than week 14's championship match it was not so hot. It looks like everyone is signing back in in preparation for the NBL playoffs which is dope. There is still some people fighting for playoff spots as well. Also, the champ match should be solid this week with Young Phil taking on Bob in a character battle, roflzzzz. Brad Pitt vs. George Clooney. Wow, just wow. That's a dynamic way to end the regular season. Now, for this mag I would have liked to done a huge review of the entire season but since I just returned 5 weeks ago, and was not around for the whole season I can't. Well, I could but fuck that, I do enough for you ungrateful faggots already. I love you guys, let's continue

Throwback Battle

God of War vs. John Hensley

God 0f War

no one cares bout ur verse, or the point of that trash bitch
cuz we know to get to the bottom line, wed have to read whats ontop of that whack shit
u added nate to the crew, u been on his nuts rockin steady
i mean you ride dom so much, half the fuckin board is calling you letty
u been in the game for years, you probably should of retired a winner
cuz the only way u gettin another golden glove, is if u crochet it at the retirement center
n i champed tons more then u, so stop actin like ur bars good
the only time u visioned a title, was having faggot wrote across ur car hood
im hof on netcees, thats shit ur never getting player
envy has you so mad and green, i thought ur verse was the avengers trailer
ull mentioned the aim shit, bitchin in chat, n how im a useless peon
the way i just told u ur punches, they probably think im a shared alias of blue n deon
your whole crew is salty squares, n i got em droppin faster
i'll put ur entire team in the same casket, n u'll really be a box of crackers
plus ur avy is the truth, that shits a clever fact
if im guaranteed to be an ICU, its cuz im where u went to get better at
id barbq ur whole family, dont think i lied bout my hood rep
so if we ever see that john son smoked sausage, its just him followin in his fathers footsteps
u finally made it to a finals, but i cant say it wasnt seen cus
you being here is only a shock g, since u been arund longer then he was

J.Hens


Ya girls nassssty, He ain't pullin whores with his bread.
Thinks his life is a scene from The Godfather.. cuz he wakes up with a Horse in his Bed.
Ur poor & ur dead. Claim u get laid.. keep tellin it G.
But everyone knows that any Woman of God's is just a nun that swore celibacy.
I got the quick wit, hoes with big tits & a wife I can smack.
I pull off Bra's and see a ''Parody's'' while your whole Sex Life is an Act.
I'm on some other shit, let me tell u suntin my brother QUIT.
I'm about to crack ya Breast Plate.. then eat dessert off ya Mother's Tits.
U on that cruton crack bitch, & you spawn wackness.
Drop dope.. or u'll get Folded out For Sleeping like ya Futon Mattress.
U got me pukin G, ruthlessly I'm makin sure a loss is the equation.
Your typical verse has a Gag Effect that could organize a fuckin Hostage Situation.
Wack bitch'll act rich like rocks R glowing on his skin.
But u'll never see the way ya 'Dress Come Up' unless yours is blowing in the wind.
Bling bling all u want playa But I doubt your stoppin' me.
Ur the type to pull out Monopoly.. win.. then tell the board u just got a House with Property.
Tellin' me shit about bein healthy n' fit, I just laugh it up.
don't kno shit about Buddha... BUT that's the only other God that's fat as fuck.
I'm draggin this out.. Ur gonna have trouble quittin the fight.
Last rd.. I ain't seen a 'Toke robbery' that bad since some1 Double Hittin a Pipe.

Verse of the Week

Bob

Fucka LOS. You ain't go Goonie cuz ya rhymes ain't slick & tuff.
U been getting 'quietly Pissed on' for soo long ya shuda changd ya name to Striktas foot
Sharp gotta tinyyy pecker. Dude ain't slaying Athenas
Ur dick ain't an Inside Joke anymore. shits now selling out Festivals & playing Arenas
Can't hold a chick or a title. You gona bombbb now just face it kid.
If a broad say 'Oh, Sharpies Permanent'. we talking Markers & not ur Drawn out Relationships
Sharp's a Virggg nerd. Don't act like this pest gets it bumpin'.
If he got ANY Commercial Success. it's thru Advertising Campaigns for Erectile Dysfunction
The cliche swags lame. Take an eraser to your stuff, have it basically tore up
Ya style aint just Longwinded. it's blowing the Sails of every Offshore Racer in Europe

Reviews

Sharp Nine vs. Bob

Well Bob won in a back and forth as fuck battle. Big ups to Sharp for not closing this the 7 chances he could have to secure himself the NBL crown. Anyway, it was a good battle. Bob had some click wording and some cool concepts like striktas foot. Sharpo had non issue which was pretty cool and he came decently consistent. I think Bob had some heavier hitters and was the reason he grabbed the W.

Utmost vs. Pryde

Utmost took all the votes in this one and took home the 5-0 victory. Pryde had terrible wording in this battle and just killed all of his concepts which weren;t bad. Utmost came ok, seen him come better but he was alright. Pricy hoes was kind of dope, scat was weird, and gross that was a big miss for me. Everything else jabbed anf led him to the promised land of victory.

Untold vs. FGR

FGR came with the worst punch of the year with that bye like sexual preference line. That was literally awful. He had another really bad punch but I forgot what it was due to the awfulness of bye like sexual preference. Untold came with some cool ideas and some meh wording. Alternate was cool even though I missed it at first because us gangbangers from Saint Louis pronounce it differently... or at least I do. Felt dumb after word. He was mediocre but his hits were enough to beat the vomit inducing bye like sexual preference line from FGR.

Meth vs. Ronic

I came bleh. Cake and eat it too was alright every thing else from me was filler really. Ronic has decent ideas he just has no idea how to put them together. I took all the votes.

Atomic vs. Ctrl Alt Elite

Atomic beat Ctrl Atl Elite quite easily

Philly vs. Loast

This was pics. It was cool. Philly came with some clever stuff mostly about the homie's facial hair that hit pretty nicely. He was able to pretty much at least jab with almost if not all of his punches. Loast put up an ok fight but against a dude like Phil it just wasn't enough.

Meth's Song of the Week That Will Be Hated by the Public

Top Punches by @Atomic

#1, Philly:

No leather seats, air conditioning... shit I'd be surprised if the engine's working right
Wit that car, nothing good is standard - which is also how we feel about any verse u write

#2, Utmost;

Pull bitches??? this head is insane, usin a checkbook instead of ya game
coz anytime Pricy Hoes.....there on the corner n they STILL hike up their regular rate

#3, Atomic;

ur god awful i'll let the hate run, ur moms will get raped son,
since birth control been useless, too bad that bitch didn't take some.

#4, Philly;

What is this Scooby Doo? you got Velma's glasses on like some eclectic blazer
That Shaggy beard is disgusting bro...the mystery machine ur lookin for is called electric razor

#5, Meth;

I'm a Patriot towards Netcees, protect the site? I'm tough, fool
So while you run an Aaron or 2. I'll go Hernandez and kill the fuck out of you

#6, Atomic;

this retards known to choke, someone give 'em the heimlich,
maaan you could keystyle ya verse but it STILL won't be timeless.

#7, Loast;

Philly! ya title says Only The Strong Survive! but ya face is on some other shit
fuck marco polo it looks like ya bottom is playing hide n seek with ya upper lip

#8, Ctrl Alt Elite;

says he's got hands, im not worried bout the lie he pratters..
i'll Break him down scientifically, cuz dealin w/ Atomic's a Tiny Matter.

#9, Utmost;

drop anotha horrid flip n' i'll right cross you, fuckin pissed no ones addressin this hack
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX... i dont know how else to 'xpress it' than THAT

#10, Pryde;

Who really taught you how to write. Point em out I need to break his pen
Your fuckin set ups be so bitch I think queen latifahs robbing banks again

Meth's Song of the Week That will be More Generally Liked by the Public/Knuck's Hot Off the Press Fire

Previews by Sharp Nine

Champ Match: Bob v Philly

Should be dope if they’re going pics. Bob’s only loss is from a champ match, and he was finally able to avenge that last week in a close one against me. On the other hand, Philly is deadly in pic matches and has yet to lose since returning to text. This is bound to be a solid season-ending match either way it goes, but I can’t really choose against Philly until he loses one.

Philly: 60/40

Meth v Atomic

Both dudes have had solid 3-0 runs in the past few weeks, though Meth hasn’t really had the competition needed to get him to write as well as he can. His SC verse against Bags showed he hasn’t lost his ability. Atomic has improved since he got back on the site but can still come fairly corny. If Meth brings a solid showing he should be taking this

Meth:65/35

Flo Real v Ronic

Flo’s had some up and down stuff this season but is generally consistent, and is coming along better than his record shows. He’ll sometime just go for straight jokes that can miss badly but is capable of solid hits. Ronic’s been inconsistent at times too, its usually from not making his concepts clear enough. Both guys have room to grow and should be solid by next season, but for now I see flo as slightly better.

Flo: 60/40

FGR v Pryde

FGR’s been doing alright lately, getting to a contender match where he was beaten by Untold. He can sometimes come off as corny, which really hurt him last week. Pryde’s been at it for awhile but can still be a little scattered with his ideas. Lately he’s been getting it done against opponents so I give him a slight edge.

Pryde:55/45

Shank Sinatra v R!cantheoryz

Shank’s made his way to contender and champ matches this season, and has some solid wins and close losses. R!can can be inconsistent at times but has managed to keep an even record. At the moment I see shank as the better textcee all around, but if he underestimates Rican and we see Rican’s best this could be an upset.

Shank:75/25

Storyteller v Lotto Smirk

This one could be tough to read. Storyteller aka Serious has been in a slump while Lotto’s been inconsistent. Lotto usually has a few decent ideas but can struggle with wording, while Storyteller can be off with both. I see Lotto edging it with more league experience if he shows.

Lotto: 60/40

Undead. v Split

Could be a really cool battle. Ctrl can be a little corny at times, which hurt him last week. Split is capable of bringing some really cool ideas if he shows. If he shows. At the same time, Ctrl is capable of bringing cool ideas to the table so this should be a really good battle for the last week of the season. I see Split being able to do more if he shows tho.

Split:70/30

Loast v Rawn MacDon

This is a sleeper for being a cool battle imo. Loast has a ton of battling experience, while Rawn’s been more topical/flex battle-oriented. Rawn tends to have clean wording but not quite the most solid battle concepts, while Loast’s only issues can be if he goes for a jokey kinda line that misses badly. I expect Loast to take it but an enjoyable read nontheless

Loast: 70/30

Karma v Lecture

Havent actually seen Karma battle, but if he’s a new guy, Lecture has a good enough handle on text to beat him by a decent margin. If he has a little experience this could be tight, so we’ll have to see.

Lecture: 65/35

Gazette v Slowhands

Gazette narrowly lost last week with a solid showing. Slowhands hasn’t battled in awhile but odds are he was at least alright if he’s been doing text this long. I give him an edge for having more experience, but I don’t know how good Slowhands is… should be good seeing.

Slowhands:70/30

Rhode v Cymbicort

Don’t know who either of these guys are. Cymbicort has one battle verse and it was meh. Rhode cause I like the name better.

Rhode:55/45

WTF's

WTF @ U PEOPLE THINKING I DO THESE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Outro

Thanks for the help from Atomic and Sharp, they helped my laziness this week. Next week is the playoffs are you guys excited? GET PUMPED BOYYYYYYYYY. Who's gonna take it?? AHHHHH. Anyway, that's it, if you liked the mag, fuck you. if you didn't like the mag, fuck you. Meth out.

@non azn Bob v @Philly
Meth v @Atomic
@Flo Real v @Ronic
@FGR v @Pryde
@Boredom v @R!canTheoryz
@Storyteller v @Lotto Smirk @Undead. v @Split @Split Eight
@Loast v @Rawn MacDon
@Karma v @Lecture
@Gazette v @Slowhands
@Rhode v @CymbiCort

[Spoken]

I was reading while you kept on piecing it together

Dope read and yeah I'm on a slump so what ... So was ur bitch just on my couch lol

[Lecture]

@Meth dont ever let Atomic do the mag again.

[Spoken]

@Lecture yeah @Meth I agree this was really half assed as it looked but then again I see who helped in the ending area so.... Go figure

[Atomic]

i only did the top punches LOL @ u guys taking shots at meth/sharp. mag was nice imo don't understand the hate

[Spoken]

It's all fun... Realize the inside jokes my man...

[Lecture]

Bitch. You NEVER EVER EVER EVER had a top punch.

IF FUCKING R!CANTHEORYZ OFFERS HELP ON THE MAG IM TAKING THE HELP

U GUYS DONT UNDERSTAND HOW TIME CONSUMING WRITING A MAGAZINE IS

AND THAN THE FORMATTING IF DONE CORRECTLY TAKES TWICE THAT AMOUNT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Flow]

At first I didn't think it felt as good as usual but think that was more to do with layout to be fair..

I enjoyed it.. Cant complain about any of it.

Props to all involved

[Spoken]

Till now


Highly suspicious it seems.... But I wouldn't know cause I ain't a battler

[Lecture]

Meth why not tell me.

I would of done it.

[Spoken]

@Meth relax punch a picture of rawn on your PC.... Just breath holla at me if you need help next time you know the deal and don't act like I ain't done it before scytso!!!

[Atomic]

Originally Posted by Lecture

Meth why not tell me.

I would of done it.

he said he'd take help from rican but now ur just taking it too far.

[Spoken]

Lmfao... Shots have been dumped

[Lecture]

@Atomic your mother should of swallowed you faggot.