is this a good start, tryin to find a balance between flow and content

[gitto138]

My prospective thoughts are gathered, and kept protected in a collective box, receptors squashed, and stretched across some septic moss,
until all of my respect is lost,
perception crossed a path except it often lacks conception, balls, ive left them on the reception desk, to prevent erection, so i cant ascend, lie low,
offend a decent question,
with the least neglection, end up with a yeast infection,
a beasts reflection on what he sees, perfection, tossed in a priests confession, box, im dangerous till this recent lesson stops, i need affection, cuz my internal pump has undergone repossession, no wonder im real possessive,

[big baby]

If you want to sincerely 'balance' flow and content, you need to focus on your content more, and by content I don't mean the insightful message, I mean nitpicking tiny words that will pick up a flow. I shouldnt be giving this advice as I don't rap, but I understand it and can do it. The thing is, when your content is lifted, your 'flow' can come along with it, because you don't make sacrifices for the sake of flow, rather a single word can be the difference in making the 'flow' nice, or mediocre, and it can also be the difference between making the line sound/seem cool/deep/of quality, or mediocre. Word choice is crucial. Hence why people like @ill nik-A suck really bad.

[ill nik-A]

Listen to the guy I whooped and be just like him, sucks at competition

Holler at the god

[big baby]

Originally Posted by ill nik-A

Listen to the guy I whooped and be just like him, sucks at competition

Holler at the god

if you want i can tell people who thought i won 2 vote tbh besides the lame 3 niggas that think you won?

[ill nik-A]

Originally Posted by bug baby

if you want i can tell people who thought i won 2 vote tbh besides the lame 3 niggas that think you won?

You mention me in every post... You need to do that to give your nonsense technique some validation, reason you are mediocre, I am versatile and can do all rhyme related. You are a joke. Now stop emailing me I'm on vacation

[YDK]

Originally Posted by gitto138

My prospective thoughts are gathered, and kept protected in a collective box, receptors squashed, and stretched across some septic moss,
until all of my respect is lost,
perception crossed a path except it often lacks conception, balls, ive left them on the reception desk, to prevent erection, so i cant ascend, lie low,
offend a decent question,
with the least neglection, end up with a yeast infection,
a beasts reflection on what he sees, perfection, tossed in a priests confession, box, im dangerous till this recent lesson stops, i need affection, cuz my internal pump has undergone repossession, no wonder im real possessive,

shorten the line lengths first off, that alone will help you balance it a lot better. you can keep the same content just break the lines up so you can see if the syllable counts and lengths are are close/balanced. once you get that part somewhat even focus more on the content itself and don't just write to rhyme, write to actually vent and put yourself into it so the emotion comes naturally and doesn't just come off as words that happen to rhyme

[big baby]

@ill nik-A cheeks.

[Geno]

hello
have you been living up to your responsibilities as a good responder in my OM?

hope so.

cool post, still think your bars are to long and hold to many commas, try using only one comma per line and then start a new line, it still reads the same . it just makes it easier and more clear for the reader. also helps for the person who may have a beat on and isnt the longest winded person in the world while hes reciting

1

[Mitch]

i like it, clean but dirty flow, gj

[gitto138]

Really appreciate this feedback, yous are helping me expand, i never knew rapping was complicated, for me any way lol