Contendership Match: Untold vs. FGR - {Untold wins}

NBL
Netcees Text Battle League

Rules

Due Dates:

• Verses are due Tuesday,
  July 2nd, 2013 at 11:59 PM PST.
• Voting ends Friday July 5th at 11:59 PM PST.
• Battles that lack votes may close later.
• One sided battles may get closed early.
• Extensions are normally 24 hours
  (unless requested otherwise, that is),
  can be no longer than 36 hours
  and have to be granted by your opponent.

Line Limit:

• Min. = 10 lines
• Max. = 16 lines
• The max. can be higher if different is agreed upon by both.

Voting:

• Must vote on 5 battles and post your links.
• Post the links in the thread titled "Week 7 Voting Links".
• You will be punished if you don't post all 5 voting links.
  You will not like the punishment, so just vote so you
  don't have to cry later. Details about this are to be
  found in the "Week 7 Voting Links" thread.

General Rules:

• 1st person to post can't edit after the 2nd person posts.
• 2nd person to post can't edit after a vote has been made.
• Feeding = DQ.
• Recycling = DQ.
• Biting = DQ.
• No freeposting, swaying or bitching.
• Unless a picture battle is agreed upon,
  linking to your opponent's picture or posting it
  means you will disqualified.
• A check in isn't mandatory, but it is encouraged.
• If your opponent doesn't check in,
  you still have to post a verse.
• Competitors should agree on a line limit in their check in.
• If no line limit is agreed on, then the 2nd person to post
  must match the 1st person's line amount.

@Untold @FGR

[FGR]

check

[Untold]

Word? What up

[FGR]

go 12

[FGR]

@Untold ..i just sent 12 to meth

[FGR]

...

[Untold]

Originally Posted by FGR vs Tryce last week

if we was in jail u'd be my bitch, cuz i bring the beef like cattle
i'd say i'll shank the shit outta you but he already trashed u last battle

jeezus chist ur a faggot! jail? someone trap this spaz
last time u got out of a Cage.. wuz pullin ur dick out of that rappers ass!
voters sayin "fuck the text shit!" cuz ya unrespected
whoever Wood Panel to judge ur verse will see it as flat, outdated n bug infested
ur sex partners r underage n underpaid. u destroy their world
s'when the kids alternate, u do that switchin from molesting young boys to girls
i'll blow 'em up like Japan in WWII. i hit like a blast of napalm
FGR could switch the 'G' to a 'D' in his name n still not manage to drop 'A-Bomb'
i hear this wack crackers a back stabber! i'd prolly run away
cuz this homo's soo shady, fags choose him to lay under on a hot n sunny day
i'm pitchin a lesson wit bitches n spellin, cuz ya ass gets dumber
so listen, there's no 'F' in 'Way'.. is what women say when u ask their numbers

[FGR]

@Meth.. ur not on so i'll just post my verse
.
.
FGR be throwing fist all day, your face is so easy to heave at
each one of my punches aiming foretold, u aint gotta be a psychic to see that

Originally Posted by Untold

I always liked Butler and Henley's old drops. Always solid reads.

Untolds a concept jacker.. in the archives trying to find the greatest hit
it's apparent he likes there old stuff u gymnast servant, STOP FLIPPING BUTLERS SHIT
this lame aint lifting weights n beasting dudes. im giving him the biz
go ahead n think your a macho man.. i'll stop your fucking heart just like his

Originally Posted by Untold

Damn, some tranny's be hot yo.
Plus it ain't gay as long as the balls don't touch,

after this loss untold will leave bitching. no one cares about ne thing u reference
the whole site will be saying bye, like when someone ask your sexual preference
the people setting this up kno ill trash this faggot. in NBL my verses are muy bien..
meth told him it's his ass on the line, he grabed his cell trying to talk to his boyfriend
untold aint a real man. his girl dont feel safe with this dumb shit
but dont worry i'll have her back....front and any other position she wants it

[Atomic]

jeezus chist ur a faggot! jail? someone trap this spaz
last time u got out of a Cage.. wuz pullin ur dick out of that rappers ass!
meh, it's alright
voters sayin "fuck the text shit!" cuz ya unrespected
whoever Wood Panel to judge ur verse will see it as flat, outdated n bug infested
heh, connections weak, cool concept/wp
ur sex partners r underage n underpaid. u destroy their world
s'when the kids alternate, u do that switchin from molesting young boys to girls
ehhhhhh, okay. once again cool concept but i don't like the wording.
i'll blow 'em up like Japan in WWII. i hit like a blast of napalm
FGR could switch the 'G' to a 'D' in his name n still not manage to drop 'A-Bomb'
reaching.
i hear this wack crackers a back stabber! i'd prolly run away
cuz this homo's soo shady, fags choose him to lay under on a hot n sunny day
lol, alright.
i'm pitchin a lesson wit bitches n spellin, cuz ya ass gets dumber
so listen, there's no 'F' in 'Way'.. is what women say when u ask their numbers
heh, okay.

//

FGR be throwing fist all day, your face is so easy to heave at
each one of my punches aiming foretold, u aint gotta be a psychic to see that
dope, lotb
Untolds a concept jacker.. in the archives trying to find the greatest hit
it's apparent he likes there old stuff u gymnast servant, STOP FLIPPING BUTLERS SHIT
mehhh, too easy, alright.
this lame aint lifting weights n beasting dudes. im giving him the biz
go ahead n think your a macho man.. i'll stop your fucking heart just like his
rofl, simple, ok.
after this loss untold will leave bitching. no one cares about ne thing u reference
the whole site will be saying bye, like when someone ask your sexual preference
wayyyy too simple, not hitting @ all.
the people setting this up kno ill trash this faggot. in NBL my verses are muy bien..
meth told him it's his ass on the line, he grabed his cell trying to talk to his boyfriend
ROFL, these hits are too fucking simple, but i still liked the bar.
untold aint a real man. his girl dont feel safe with this dumb shit
but dont worry i'll have her back....front and any other position she wants it
dece.

untold came w/ poor wording & his concepts weren't great imo. he had a very average verse, although i did enjoy a few of his bars. FGR on the other hand had lotb, but a very simple verse flled w/ easy flips. a few of them were fresh so even though they were simple i still enjoyed the way he worded it/the bar overall. v/ goes to fgr for lotb & a slightly more polished verse.

v/ fgr

cool battle guys.

So shady

vs.

foretold
ass on the line

So, yo. Untold's style is literally like I'm reading shit from 03 or 04. Untold you got the jist of shit but your kind of in the wrong time period. Haha. Anyway, a lot of your shit was kind of corny, stretched, forced or a reacchhhh. Like wood panel. Dope wordplay but it doesn't work both ways, one of the ways isn't even english lol. I mean it was a good idea but the wording has to be better on that type of a bar so it hits, because the way you worded it, not only does it not hit, it's probably the biggest miss in the battle. The Cage line as corny and not a very good connection, so it was a miss. The alternate line wasn't even really much of anything, I mean, technically it worked but it was so simple it didn't do much damage. The FGR/FDR line was a super reach, you can't just say "what if your name wasn't really your name, what if I edited your name so it works for this punch" lol feel me? Too shady was cool, not worded the best but well enough to at least hit, that was your best punch of your verse. The F in Way line doesn't work because no one uses that as a saying, like no I in team. Good wordplay, it's just madd forced. You have potential Told you just gotta do work on your wording and thinking of some better concepts. Foretold was cool for FGR, kind of simple. Stop flipping butler was stupid, obviously filler/throw away shit. Macho man Randy savage lines are played as fuck. Been used for awhile now basically the same way yours was, but worded better. Bye/bi? Seriously. Keep using wp like that you'll be smellin' da feet. Ass on the line was good, fresh flip, decent wording, it hits. Have her back was bleh, good wording but old used out concept. Decent battle, both have potential. I got FGR though.

TLDR;

V/ FGR

EDIT:

I missed the alternate/all turn 8 wordplay. Personally, I say alternate with the 'it' suffix and not the 'ate' suffix. I also know people say it both ways, so it isn't forced. I didn't even think there was wordplay, I was saying the connection was forced. Do to this evidence, I have both with 2 quotes and I like Told's better with the Alternate line being the LOTB.

TLDR;

V/ Untold

[Untold]

Does anyone get my alternate line?

Alternate=all turn eight... Or is it that bad?

[Atomic]

I got it. wording just hurt it imo

[Lecture]

untold.

cage line was blah, wood panel was mediocre, molest line.. wtf? wrestler line was soft, shady line could of been better, didnt like the closer.

fgr opener was coo, butler & randy savage line was blah. a bye line nigga? really? boyfriend line was blah and the closer was a old concept.


Didnt like untolds verse a whole lot but I think the bye line and the fact fgr chopped his verse up so much, quoting untold between his shit twice killed it for me. neither stood out.

vote: untold

Untold - I got u with so shady... Wood panel had potential but didn't really hit to well, opener wasn't bad but not great, same with closer but it was a little weaker bc of wording.. And the same thing w alternate prolly would need better of u stressed the age more.

Fgr - I have u with foretold, macho man was decent as well
So was ass on the line, but could a been worded more effectively however those played concepts really hurt u.. I mean u didn't even flip them in a new/original way..

I got untold with better wording as well as more consistent fresher concepts

v/untold

[Dominate]

Kids alternate and FDR were good, wood panel was almost, cage and shady were ehhhh, closer was awful bc that's a joke I heard like 10 years ago


Vs

Foretold was good, gymnast servant was awful, macho man was OK, bye is very played, ass on the line was almost, closer was OK


2 quotables vs 1, the rest was about even

V/ Untold

[Untold]

But why?

[Spoken]

.....

[Untold]

Thought so. And explaining a bar is not swaying bro