Dead Man & Witty - The Friendship Song

Witty · 07-04-2014, 09:22 AM

Craftily crafted rhymes got my soul crashing and half the time
These passively drafted lines are affably cast, resigned
To the fact that amnesty has tragically past, it died
Leaving just vanity and a people with apathy's stamp behind
We angrily rant to pass the time, relying on reality as defined
By tactically flaccid minds, an attack of the rancid kind
Callously passing by objection, rapidly casting dye
Placing things in groups that don't have to be, that's the lie.
-
blacketh, the camera shy: laughing hard, compassionate mastermind
dancing like hammer time. rock solid smoking crack with Amanda Bynes
have a line. walk the far side - your jaw to the curb
bite down or die. a line between the two is awfully blurred
you have a single goal. your road is often deterred
preaching to people far too exhausted to learn
let the monsters observe while rockstars are marketed first
there's darkness in words. our novel just another coffin to burn
-
The harshest of verbs got readers distraught and concerned
Armed with the words to leave the hardest artist's heart in a hearse
Starting to curse, fuck fuck FUCK, repetitive, guarded.....perturbed
Twisted from sipping rum, bitches come and I leave 'em broken in shards
Got 'em grieving yo, I need a hoe like I need a hole in the heart
Drop that needle bro, I'll rock that ether flow from the start
A seasoned pro, this is art...each page has a sculpture inside it
'til it's picked apart by vultures, derided by a culture divided
-
we're supposed to be quiet. take a bow. hold for the silence
on the road to enlightenment - if you'd loan me a license
insociable tyrant. ruling emperor of nobody island
psychosis, the psychic. aka medium. like prose to a typist
disposable wiseman. take it or leave it, i married a priestess
kept her locked inside a cage and fed her berries and peaches
locate your weakness just to air it out like terrible secrets
what's a pair of new sneakers worth if you're a paraplegic?

razor wayans damon blades · 07-04-2014, 12:07 PM

what a greaaat clash of styles you have going on here. the permeating substance of witty was supported fruitfully by deadmans metaphorical subscript. these tangibles go well together! as a collab it is of high calibre given the brevity!

Mitch · 07-04-2014, 12:30 PM

very sick, i liked the seconds verses better for both you guys, but both were well done .

dead man · 07-07-2014, 01:37 PM

yahweh

Seymour BUTTS · 07-07-2014, 02:26 PM

"My sons..."

the fuck? Nigga's a wolf, how can radioactive turtles be your SONS???

Witty · 07-07-2014, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seymour BUTTS

"My sons..."

the fuck? Nigga's a wolf, how can radioactive turtles be your SONS???

?

Seymour BUTTS · 07-07-2014, 02:35 PM

oh my bad yall shit is tyte but I was lookin @ the ninja turtla jawn.......

Kin · 07-07-2014, 02:36 PM

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No weak point whole shit is one big quote haha

Good work fellaz

Witty · 07-07-2014, 02:37 PM

I forgive you.

Wanna be friends?

Seymour BUTTS · 07-07-2014, 02:38 PM

Can we be...I'd appreciate that shit my G, that's be ace shit, trill talk G

Pinot Grij · 07-07-2014, 09:48 PM

Fun as shit to read. Don't know who's who, but I felt that the 2nd dude brought the heat a little hotter. I felt like this is a good piece to study for out-the-box, interesting rhyme combinations... I feel like I'll refer back to it. The Amanda Bynes line was awesome, btw... and the closer. Dope shit fellas.

Eŋg · 07-08-2014, 01:00 AM

this was a fun collab. the first verse had far too many adverbs in its schemes and the arrangement felt a bit shot. the second verse didn't try as hard and felt better for it. i liked the 'line between the two is awfully blurred' part. the third verse is an improvement for you witty. i thought that 'need a hoe' line was tight. the transitions could have been more fluid but you didn't really overcook anything. finally; the 'prose to a typist' line was probably a highlight for me. i'd always expect a memorable turn of phrase, or three, from you. this delivered. i'd agree with whoever said each had better offerings the second time.

and that this clashed instead of coinciding -- that can work for a collab, no doubt. i'd have personally liked to have seen each of you work with, or off of, each other more than just the interconnected rhythm from trailing verses.

i'm gonna write something when i'm in the mood to.

07-04-2014, 09:22 AM	#1
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	Dead Man & Witty - The Friendship Song Craftily crafted rhymes got my soul crashing and half the time These passively drafted lines are affably cast, resigned To the fact that amnesty has tragically past, it died Leaving just vanity and a people with apathy's stamp behind We angrily rant to pass the time, relying on reality as defined By tactically flaccid minds, an attack of the rancid kind Callously passing by objection, rapidly casting dye Placing things in groups that don't have to be, that's the lie. - blacketh, the camera shy: laughing hard, compassionate mastermind dancing like hammer time. rock solid smoking crack with Amanda Bynes have a line. walk the far side - your jaw to the curb bite down or die. a line between the two is awfully blurred you have a single goal. your road is often deterred preaching to people far too exhausted to learn let the monsters observe while rockstars are marketed first there's darkness in words. our novel just another coffin to burn - The harshest of verbs got readers distraught and concerned Armed with the words to leave the hardest artist's heart in a hearse Starting to curse, fuck fuck FUCK, repetitive, guarded.....perturbed Twisted from sipping rum, bitches come and I leave 'em broken in shards Got 'em grieving yo, I need a hoe like I need a hole in the heart Drop that needle bro, I'll rock that ether flow from the start A seasoned pro, this is art...each page has a sculpture inside it 'til it's picked apart by vultures, derided by a culture divided - we're supposed to be quiet. take a bow. hold for the silence on the road to enlightenment - if you'd loan me a license insociable tyrant. ruling emperor of nobody island psychosis, the psychic. aka medium. like prose to a typist disposable wiseman. take it or leave it, i married a priestess kept her locked inside a cage and fed her berries and peaches locate your weakness just to air it out like terrible secrets what's a pair of new sneakers worth if you're a paraplegic? __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime. Last edited by Witty; 07-04-2014 at 12:23 PM.

07-04-2014, 12:30 PM	#3
Mitch Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 160 Rep Power: 2208351	very sick, i liked the seconds verses better for both you guys, but both were well done . __________________ Soundcloud.com/TheDirtySerpent

07-07-2014, 01:37 PM	#4
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,484 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	yahweh __________________ Zack Wicks for president

07-07-2014, 02:37 PM	#9
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	I forgive you. Wanna be friends? __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

07-07-2014, 09:48 PM	#11
Pinot Grij Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 863 Battle Record: 23-19 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night 2 - Write Week V - Netcees Battle League (2x) - Winter Topical II - 1-2 Punch league Rep Power: 29195064	Fun as shit to read. Don't know who's who, but I felt that the 2nd dude brought the heat a little hotter. I felt like this is a good piece to study for out-the-box, interesting rhyme combinations... I feel like I'll refer back to it. The Amanda Bynes line was awesome, btw... and the closer. Dope shit fellas. __________________ Topical C.R.E.A.M.

07-04-2014, 12:07 PM	#2
razor wayans damon blades Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Posts: 43 Rep Power: 3501591	what a greaaat clash of styles you have going on here. the permeating substance of witty was supported fruitfully by deadmans metaphorical subscript. these tangibles go well together! as a collab it is of high calibre given the brevity!

07-07-2014, 02:26 PM	#5
Seymour BUTTS Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 102 Rep Power: 0	"My sons..." the fuck? Nigga's a wolf, how can radioactive turtles be your SONS???

07-07-2014, 02:35 PM	#7
Seymour BUTTS Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 102 Rep Power: 0	oh my bad yall shit is tyte but I was lookin @ the ninja turtla jawn.......

07-07-2014, 02:36 PM	#8
Kin Kill.It.Nonstop Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 666 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 662201	FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No weak point whole shit is one big quote haha Good work fellaz

07-07-2014, 02:38 PM	#10
Seymour BUTTS Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 102 Rep Power: 0	Can we be...I'd appreciate that shit my G, that's be ace shit, trill talk G

07-08-2014, 01:00 AM	#12
Eŋg rhyme capsule. Join Date: Sep 2018 Posts: 2,150 Rep Power: 0	this was a fun collab. the first verse had far too many adverbs in its schemes and the arrangement felt a bit shot. the second verse didn't try as hard and felt better for it. i liked the 'line between the two is awfully blurred' part. the third verse is an improvement for you witty. i thought that 'need a hoe' line was tight. the transitions could have been more fluid but you didn't really overcook anything. finally; the 'prose to a typist' line was probably a highlight for me. i'd always expect a memorable turn of phrase, or three, from you. this delivered. i'd agree with whoever said each had better offerings the second time. and that this clashed instead of coinciding -- that can work for a collab, no doubt. i'd have personally liked to have seen each of you work with, or off of, each other more than just the interconnected rhythm from trailing verses. i'm gonna write something when i'm in the mood to.