SGT Graves: A Soldiers Story

[SiK]

My verse for the Elements Tourney....Only got 3 votes....Not much of a topical head so was lookin for more feed









Night rose, flakes are falling shadowing his sight post like a white ghost
His canteens ice, froze, he sighs: “great”, then hydrates with some light snow
Still, with his eyes closed he tries to rest, a tired mess tucked inside his vest
No fires left, frost is in his hair with the frigged air that’s engulfed his entire chest
Desires swept, his match was met, at the bottom standing at disasters steps
But passions kept, he sets off remembering the pep talk and tears that the pastor wept
The thought is sober…See, Sergeant Graves just had a battle and lost his soldiers
His haunted soul hurts, cause all he can picture..is them, disfigured and crossing over
He gains composure, bullets fly in the foreground; he has 7 mags each with four rounds
Looking for more now, searching the dead with evil lurking its head, he’s northbound
Ammunitions restored, proud, Sarge finds a grenade, and a soldier left to die in a grave
There’s a pulse! Light as it may, he’s alive, and as a soldier, ready to fight for the brave
He revives him in place..and they march to the fight, leaving behind the dark of the night
They embark to the site; led with pride towards the gunpowder that sparks n ignites
Reaching a distance that’s safe they commence fire while the enemy’s stricken with strafe
In a subliminal state and in urgency; he nervously fires 10 bullets, but misses with 8
His only soldier takes a hit to the face, 1 round n he’s gunned down, submission to fate
Graves shoots magazines number four…five, through the blood and the gore thrives
The type to see the fear through your eyes and intensify it with an overwhelming war cry
He’s a fighter, had bouts, so the conflict angers him, he detours from the sad route
Full of hate n being mad shouts: “frag out!” and grabs the last rounds from his mag pouch
Unloaded the clip in a massive rage, masses slain, no chance of stopping, there was no sign
Yet it’s a shame, Graves should have disengaged, but was lost in the war with his own mind
When the smoke cleared and with hope near, he discovered it was friendly fire the whole time

[Geno]

This a dope verse. Don't sleep

Up

[SiK]

@PancakeBrah


cmon yall dont sleep

[Split]

really liked this over all. like how you broke up your rhyming, it was refreshingly simple. sometimes it felt like you were rhyming with the same emphasis in every line though. good wording mostly. liked the opening the most. good rhyming scheme.


the plot was pretty good, didnt relate to your character too much but i was interested ni the action more than most action topicals, and your conclusion was pretty cool. keep writing dude.