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Old 03-25-2014, 09:06 PM   #1
david stern razor burns
with razor spurs
 
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: At David Blaine's favorite place with David Spade and Macy Gray
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thanks @razor wayans damon blades

I’m David Stern with razor burns, I’ll run your shit, I’m David Stern. I’ll run your shit like drains -alert the mother ship- I came for earth. Clean shaven, never late for work. Concealed alien in a blazer shirt. You guys lamer than Lehman’s terms, your rhymes gayer than aids and herps. Sideways, I’m crazy, sir. At the bar on a tasting spurt. Going stir crazy. Mixing drinks like a madman while I’m first dating, and breaking the ice with beverages, while I’m breaking this ice, incredulous. She maybe looks nice, or maybe she bites? I get a drink. Jameson’s Irish, defending this state of my high-ness. Pretending I’m great, but I’m lying. Inevitably fake, but I’m trying. The enemy’s at my gate, she’s dying to get a little taste, applying some peer pressure, by buying her beer. A gesture in disguise as a mere gesture, but it hides the real objective of why I am here. Let me describe it and clear: I guess it’s just thighs and some ears, something with legs and a nose. Basically anything goes, I’ll take me a Jenny Craig ho. She can cryogenically bake me a loaf, a cake that is cold, that I can take on the road, back to the place that I go, in space. In a drone, on my journey to home. Coordinates known, lusting for my chunky mommy while I warp from the globe, she tortures my soul, I gorge on her loaf. I mourn for her though she’s bordering gross. But enough is enough, I torque the controls. ABORT! ABORT! I’m turning around, but the border patrollers are turning me down. These ornery cowards are spurning me now, so I’m burn em with powerful sprays from my nuke, and turn em to powder like Neighbor would do. The burst from my cannon is laser infused, I go berserk with Katana’s that Asians would use. Murderous madness contagious as flu, the fervor is savage, I’m raging at dudes. I made it, I’m through, my lady awaits, and my only wish is she baked me a cake. Cause the first one got lost in the shuffle, amongst all the killing and launched from the shuttle. I long for her butthole, so I quash your rebuttals like she’s wrong for me. Fuck no. An anomaly of the utmost variety living. I ate a dessert and flied in your city, I’m David of Sterns, Goliath is shitty.
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