half the man i use to be

[YDK]

I'm not half the man I use to be, usually;
I've been used up and stupidly; accepted what ruined me.
Tears fall fluidly when I think about the lunacy
that caused me to fragment mentally from scrutiny!
The death of my mother didn't kill me fruitlessly,
Because the community raised me the rest of the way beautifully.
I've dealt with that pain as much as humanly possible,
Hurdled the obstacles in my path atleast the ones that were plausable.
Like moving on was optional I declared my resolve
as i let pills "heal" me till even they were appalled!
Pain killers had me enthralled so i called to anyone that would scald me
To slip from the grip of addiction before death could befall me...

Years later I've never wavered, I've done what i needed
Turned from the wayward son to a father that succeeded.
A published author, loving husband, and a genuine person,
A man that can handle anything no matter the burden.
My life since my mother's death; I grew from that seed,
Like a rose in the pavement I'm blooming dutifully.
So I'm not half the man that i use to be,
I'm twice that...usually.