The End of a Dying Breed.

[Objective]

Objective:

Rayge is stupid and vague, ''blastin' guns quick''? That's some dumb shit,
Serves to prove the net is full of fakes, droppin' ish the 90's done with.
''Rayge Against The machine'' is weak as well, you're frail and I can tell,
I'm from Norway son, ask any metal bitch; I was born in Hell.
We're toysoldiers? Well, that's the kinda shit you usually get beat by,
And going against us is the complete opposite of being street wise.
You're LDB's obsolete guy, your whole verse was silly statements,
when people read that shit they facepalm their own heads to the pavement.

MethamphetaNine; shit was hella grime! Nah', ya'll perfected the art of being a poser,
You ''make hammers shoot''? That was stupid too, even Mario beat the Bowser.
So now both of ya need a closure and dissin' Rawn on some highschool idiot shit?
You're incompetent lying minion kids.. and that's more than just opinions bitch.
Horrible writers a minority on NC, so who are you to talk about reputation you queers?
When all you've accomplished through text is joining a crew with the worst writers in here.
When you teamed up shit's getting wacker by the minute, and that's a mathematical fact,
Sorry if you're hurt, but as a writer that takes pride in what he does I had to react.

I saved this for SiK cuz the captain is the last to abandon the ship,
He's like Archer when he whined to get it in just for the tip.
The reason you aint gettin' a chick; your whole persona's a dick,
So your body's physique ended up with the short end of the stick.
The shit bout MW is what someone without talent would say,
We're improving a lot while you stay the same below average every day.
LDB's the stupidest name, so shut the fuck up and stop making a sound,
you're endangered species cuz you wont survive for yet another round.

Rawn MacDon:

Last of a dying breed? Its time to flee or Evolve
Evasive tactics displayed by fagg0ts, no Dia IP involved
Yall basic-average, hermit crab-kids, way out of ur league
ATR's a battary of legends, ur more an assemblage in MMORPG
honest and fact, droppin these raps, we ain't even on the same page
we be closeting cats, while yall geek'n meth with a followin act of gay rayge
And BananaMan, well Meth's grand... if he got that Tina by the key
but he's more likely to cut his nose to spite face then Pigman from Salton Sea
I like Sharp, hes got some heart, and always follows good in-line
such a good sport, that he even looks the part, so this follower can skate on by
This leaves SiK, a military kid, bred by the meak through heat, risk, n flak
hes seen combat, tackled IED's in Iraq, but he won't even whisper on that...
cuz see, ironically, he already knows the policy,
so if he don't tell.....well, we all know the syntax
bout the only hurt locker he ever seen, being the one from his last gym class
and its seems apparent that ur teams generic...and SiK the problem is...
ur a weak varriant of a street terrorist to everyone but ur speech therapist..

[Split]

Bowser rhymes with power and flower not poser

[Objective]

Originally Posted by Split Eight

Bowser rhymes with power and flower not poser

Thanks for pointing it out. English isn't my first language, tell me if you want to do a battle in norwegian instead tho.

[SiK]

Rawn came decenttime honestly. Cause i wont hate for the sake

Obj was garbage

[Split]

Originally Posted by Objective

Thanks for pointing it out. English isn't my first language, tell me if you want to do a battle in norwegian instead tho.

that was the reason why I mentioned it tbc...

[Objective]

Originally Posted by Split Eight

that was the reason why I mentioned it tbc...

Thanks, I appreciate it man. (Seriously, I do.)

[namix]

Objective:
MethamphetaNine; shit was hella grime! Nah', ya'll perfected the art of being a poser,
You ''make hammers shoot''? That was stupid too, even Mario beat the Bowser.
--]> i liked the throw back -- to split's point, the end-rhyme kinda hurt the impact.... the concept coulda been hilarious but it would have taken some really strong wording to do so.

Consider using your setups a bit more effectively to build context -- get the reader 'going that direction'. For example, even by simply introducing the concept of "throw back" in the setup --- you then have gotten the audience thinking about throw backs, and follow it up with a throw back to the old school game while also having a nice/simple allusion to Bowser throwing hammers... Again, deliberately a not-so-fancy example to show how using the setup even ever-so-slightly more deliberately can take a punch from eh-to-ok or ok-to-good or good-to-great.

Similarly, a risk many battle writers face is coming up with a decent concept and almost shooting themselves in a foot by undermining the creativity by delivering the punch too cut-and-dry... consider how you can rephrase it to make it more clearly tie to the diss your trying to convey -- or taking the same concept and delivering it in a funnier way that ties the person your dissing to the metaphor ---

example:
my hotness blossoms like mario's flower - whatcha know bout fire power?
as im droppin the kinda hammer with shells that out-rival Bowser's!

see what i mean bro? again, i was feeling the throwback, just figured i'd give some real love feedback wise -- knowing you undoubtedly got at this quick like and what not, hope it helps to some degree.

The reason you aint gettin' a chick; your whole persona's a dick,
So your body's physique ended up with the short end of the stick.
^ similar to the above, this concept isn't as original so it made the delivery of it that much more important --- dick concepts are tough to make effective these days, BUT i do think the idea of 'short end of the stick' is funny enough that if reworked there is a way to make it standout and hit.


All in all, it was a pretty cut-and-dry read bro, but i think you already knew that and i appreciate just throwing something out there anyway -- the concept of Bowser throwing hammers alone made it worth the read lol - definitely made me smile at that one.

Rawn MacDon:
consistent verse, solid 'nuff -- until the end where it was inconsistent because i thought you started getting RAW with it yo! the hurt locker concept was dope, would have been straight ill with a little more conceptual tie to "hurt" --- but then, the cherry on top the shit-on-you sundae was that last bar haha... flow tight, concept funny, dope.

so if he don't tell.....well, we all know the syntax
bout the only hurt locker he ever seen, being the one from his last gym class
--]> hah, i dug this concept a lot dude.
and its seems apparent that ur teams generic...and SiK the problem is...
ur a weak varriant of a street terrorist to everyone but ur speech therapist..
--]> haha. my favorite of this post. the imagery of a scurred therapist alone made this cool, the idea that it was a SPEECH therapist made it funny and the flow brought it all together to make it ill.. THIS was worth the entire read to me, i dont even know if others will appreciate this closer as much as me, but it had a unique steeze to it --- all the right technical craft, and just rounded out the diss great. for better or worse - this line like sonned every other punch in this collab "to me" - it was just levels above everything else i read to that point, and your other shit wasn't bad, this was just an ill/swag feel coupled with comedy and also felt "personal", even if SiK doesnt have a speech therapist I'm convinced he does have one now.... so man fuck, solid drop, but even more solid since you ended on the punch i'll remember it by.


Always appreciate a good crew beef --- digging the activity, i'm down with this for the sake of a good 'ol crew beef alone, but that closer really was worth the wait for me, haha. good shit fellas.