If Obama had a son he'd look like Steve Martin. (possible, recessive genes.)

[BWHAHA]

i think you guys iwll like so plz read i hope pplz like vet feed only jk anybody can feed lol hey @Beretta hey @Neighbor you guys are like cool robotic bang boom arcade style "finish him" lol @Void @Darth Yoda hey @Bags @Orc


If violins are violence then that means ejaculate my jet-pack to penis land
and I’ll exist kindly … to inseminate this wordplay to pen island
The grim reaper eyes me, I mean, with whatever’s behind there
but his scythe swings right through, clean. Chemical nightmare
No blood, or no death. I can’t even die, my apathy’s improving.
Amusing how agony is useless. I’ll pioneer this homestead.
I’m wired fixed, an asshole. So why exist, a candle
I have lit. the wax grows. Violet. The fire pit, is ample
Thin hips, and sandals. With a big stick and black robes.
Such an undervalued wardrobe. I’d wear it when I’m feeling sexy
No one really unveils the inconsistency of such an inaccurate killing weapon
And actually; it isn’t supposed to be accurate, pumpkin
It isn’t the actual consistency, just the tenacity of it
Now I know how the slaves felt, you’ll say I don’t know how the slaves felt
the slaves didn’t even know how the slaves felt, now you’re saying I shouldnt say i know how the slaves felt?
I’ve skipped rocks on you pillow-esquey stepping stones. Let’s blow
I couldve wrote any other day, but today is that anyday. Tempo
I’m a silhouetted vexed clone, sobriquet, I’ve left notes
It’s ten fold. Alone in my cigarette’y shaped desk dome. Everyday
Spent about a decade’ in my dress clothes. Ventilating, to the web. Groan
Anyway, I turn my head it echoes. (He’s imitating the very way Hemingway’s pen strokes?)
So confused, I try to reiterate my past life with my current one.
Serpents tongue, offering the fruit that falls far from the tree. Souls consumed.
Oh, it’s you. The vagabond. Seriously though, come close when I speak this dribble
If the grim reaper was walking around with Arizona iced tea and skittles
As unmenacing as that is, atleast it’d look a little suspicious,
Oh that’s racist! No, it just isn’t what you expecting from in it
Cause what you don’t expect, when it hits. Well it hurts
Melted Earth. Smooch of death, try and predict this french kiss
Delicate feather. Can’t rule with a iron fist, and a velvet worth
Mind encrypted, ones self comes first; in this eloquent zephyr.
"Are you implying, death and trayvon both had hoodies" Yeah, and, so what
I’ll sip the blood of Jesus, give a girl a wink, and don’t think you’ve never thought to bone nuns.
That’s just the way the mind works, can’t persuade, dissuade the minds own
Way it creates a sly zone, away, ‘try to charade a mime, yo!’
Oh god, the Papier-mâché’s alive, whoa! Emanating. Just die slow.
I’ve created a Frankenstein, but useful, his name is Albertenstein
Pupils dilated. It’s brutal. Make me an atom bomb, but …on Palestine
Never been the type of guy who wanted' kids. But Wanna build Noahs Ark, with mini-me’s?
My Coat of Arms literally’s a trench jacket made up of upper-limbs

[NYCSPITZ]

cool

[Ghost1]

Y wasnt i tagged?

[Certain]

I've noticed a handful of really talented but scatterbrained writers on this site, but you might be the most extreme. This verse is all over the place, and I love some parts and didn't like others at all. Mostly it depended on how hard you were forcing the rhyme. For instance:

No one really unveils the inconsistency of such an inaccurate killing weapon
And actually; it isn’t supposed to be accurate, pumpkin
It isn’t the actual consistency, just the tenacity of it

I liked that a lot because the rhymes felt clean.

I couldve wrote any other day, but today is that anyday. Tempo
I’m a silhouetted vexed clone, sobriquet, I’ve left notes
It’s ten fold. Alone in my cigarette’y shaped desk dome. Everyday

I get what you were going for here, but I found the awkward rhymes threw me off. "Tempo" in particular has no place.

Giving this piece a strong edit and reconsidering some of the language and rhymes would have brought this up to something really great. I get that most people don't do that with their text rap verses, though. You had some really great lines. A few:

Now I know how the slaves felt, you’ll say I don’t know how the slaves felt
the slaves didn’t even know how the slaves felt, now you’re saying I shouldnt say i know how the slaves felt?
...
Spent about a decade’ in my dress clothes. Ventilating, to the web. Groan
...
Oh god, the Papier-mâché’s alive, whoa! Emanating. Just die slow.
I’ve created a Frankenstein, but useful, his name is Albertenstein

[oats]

good to have you back, vintage Bwa. loved the slaves felt bit, you always give us some brain teasers amidst the lyrical downpour. thanks

[Bodey]

ha damn, i come on this site hardly ever anymore but when i cant sleep, it's my go-to. i love how all-over-the-place you are, seems like your brain functions the way mine does sometimes. even the fuckin title of this piece, i was like mannnn i gotta check this out. especially after the parenthesees (recessive genes) lol

"Are you implying, death and trayvon both had hoodies" Yeah, and, so what
I’ll sip the blood of Jesus, give a girl a wink, and don’t think you’ve never thought to bone nuns.

ha loved that.

i also enjoyed reading a different format. rhymes here and there, catching up with themselves in the middle of some sentences. but obviously, this piece didnt need to rhyme. it's a thought-provoker. and i liked that. thanks

[PancakeBrah]

Obama's black.

I <3'd this.

[Orc]

will read when home xxx

[Wise Wiggles]

This shit rocks! Swell write up dude!

[Vulgar]

Eye thought this was Timbuktu... which means it was cool. Koala-bear compatible in a rejuvenated, juicy city breeze. Garlic breath.