Perspective Of Apparition

Mr.Sinister · 02-05-2013, 07:55 AM

Angel eyes analyze any artillery I author
While demonic thoughts lap my brain translating to a scorcher
Somewhat a hoarder... half the room's flowers, the others corpses
Heart of a lion, scientists' mind, lower half like a horses'
Shameful of my sins while simultaneously selling sour
Smoke combined with the layer in the air from metal showers
Liquor lingering in my liver leaving me leveled
Partake in poppin a pill ain't only rollin I'm pedaled
On a flat tire... slow extra lean, guzzle Methazine
Xanex and vicodin crushed, body's a huddled entity
And essentially if he last, well he's gonna need rehab
Contradiction, love quiet girls who on our first date bring knee pads
Standing in the rain, making sure my jeans don't bleed on my timbs
Cold blooded, the blood would freeze if something sharp meets with my skin
My food of choice is either pussy or a slice of pizza
Nice to meet ya, your face in my lap is my type of leisure
Show no respect, my eyes red and I'm blew like a Oakland set
Hope for the most but yet I'm knowing I'm so close to death
Open threats to the devil as I feel him pullin me under
Lightning cross the skies, hearing low laughter that couldn't be thunder?

Lars · 02-05-2013, 09:46 AM

Somewhat a hoarder... half the room's flowers, the others corpses
Heart of a lion, scientists' mind, lower half like a horses'

Loved that couplet, Sin. And the follow up of the alliterations from the first in "Shameful of my sins while simultaneously selling sour", it was a nice touch, done under the radar, but I noted it. LOL I was writing this response as I was reading through the thing, just caught that you did it a bunch afterwards. I noticed towards the end some of the lines were a little too long, syllabically, for me. This one the worst offender:

Cold blooded, the blood would freeze if something sharp meets with my skin

But it's probably just you showing some ring rust, I know you haven't been around for a minute.

Good to see you back Sin.

Keep that pen moving.

- Baron Mynd

Mr.Sinister · 02-05-2013, 05:51 PM

Thanks fam... Definetly shaking sum rust appreciate the feedback tho

02-05-2013, 07:55 AM	#1
Mr.Sinister Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 58 Battle Record: 2-1 Rep Power: 38	Perspective Of Apparition Angel eyes analyze any artillery I author While demonic thoughts lap my brain translating to a scorcher Somewhat a hoarder... half the room's flowers, the others corpses Heart of a lion, scientists' mind, lower half like a horses' Shameful of my sins while simultaneously selling sour Smoke combined with the layer in the air from metal showers Liquor lingering in my liver leaving me leveled Partake in poppin a pill ain't only rollin I'm pedaled On a flat tire... slow extra lean, guzzle Methazine Xanex and vicodin crushed, body's a huddled entity And essentially if he last, well he's gonna need rehab Contradiction, love quiet girls who on our first date bring knee pads Standing in the rain, making sure my jeans don't bleed on my timbs Cold blooded, the blood would freeze if something sharp meets with my skin My food of choice is either pussy or a slice of pizza Nice to meet ya, your face in my lap is my type of leisure Show no respect, my eyes red and I'm blew like a Oakland set Hope for the most but yet I'm knowing I'm so close to death Open threats to the devil as I feel him pullin me under Lightning cross the skies, hearing low laughter that couldn't be thunder?

02-05-2013, 09:46 AM	#2
Lars PROVEN BITER Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Wolverhampton Posts: 1,588 Battle Record: 5-0 Champed - The Winter Topical Rep Power: 1809298	Somewhat a hoarder... half the room's flowers, the others corpses Heart of a lion, scientists' mind, lower half like a horses' Loved that couplet, Sin. And the follow up of the alliterations from the first in "Shameful of my sins while simultaneously selling sour", it was a nice touch, done under the radar, but I noted it. LOL I was writing this response as I was reading through the thing, just caught that you did it a bunch afterwards. I noticed towards the end some of the lines were a little too long, syllabically, for me. This one the worst offender: Cold blooded, the blood would freeze if something sharp meets with my skin But it's probably just you showing some ring rust, I know you haven't been around for a minute. Good to see you back Sin. Keep that pen moving. - Baron Mynd

02-05-2013, 05:51 PM	#3
Mr.Sinister Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 58 Battle Record: 2-1 Rep Power: 38	Thanks fam... Definetly shaking sum rust appreciate the feedback tho