Escape

Wise Wiggles · 09-13-2013, 12:59 AM

Some random thoughts flying around in here, so if you're not feeling this shit. Idgaf. Peace.

I sing long jingles tidying my cling-on dingles
Trying to balance w/out breaking like seesaw Pringles
walk into the stoooore with a pocket full of nickelssss
galoshes. cold & dismal. prada-poor with Rizzle
tall hats & golf claps like this opera cult is civil
the puddles form a ritual, as I shuffle porn in silence
a couple's warm. politeness.. ohhhhhhh
you can't fuck with norman's prices
I thought the bitch was cancer but she's acting sorta pisces
The monster has risen,
What exactly is honest & Christian?
I wander in rhythms & fight myself like Tom in oblivion
Ahem
This is Wise.., short for Wisecology
I don't have time for apologies, my mind's warped. Just follow me
Signs. Sores. The Conjuring- haven't seen it, but it's hands I speak with
Fucking anti-English. Tamp drys? Eat it- this is camp,
Where ants die squeamish. Pantomime fingers,
"where the bong at dre?" Is it chair & a straw hat day?
Like a bear & his claws, tearing ya jaw half-way
Just beware of the songs that play-
Better cherish her soft grace while you stare at this saw blade
Cuz I'm wearing ya mom's face running errands w/Tom Hanks
You little swaggots, fuck your hoes in ya Rover
Peep the crows on the shoulder, turning your coals to a smolder
Stoning a stoner. Step up, get your coma-diploma
I WANT YOUR WORD, LOU- bird flu of the pen
Hurt you in the end? Never, we burn blue-
Watch it burst through the lense, while I whirl you in circles of wind
In the middle of oceans. Lost riddle, botched rhythm of closure
Escape. Andy Dufrain it. Here's a rock chisel & poster

Zombie · 09-13-2013, 01:12 AM

Lol :p. I liked all the random aspects. I wish you'd spend more time on it

Dove Dozer · 09-13-2013, 07:05 AM

Its alright.

Dove Dozer · 09-13-2013, 07:06 AM

Im kidding. It was dope. But u dont give a fuck so..

Lol

Wise Wiggles · 09-13-2013, 09:43 AM

I'd spend more time, Zom, it's just I get side-tracked & antsy.
I'm a pothead! :/

veritas · 09-13-2013, 01:35 PM

Trying to balance w/out breaking like seesaw Pringles
^excellent imagery and concept imo!

Better cherish her soft grace while you stare at this saw blade
Cuz I'm wearing ya mom's face running errands w/Tom Hanks
^evil and crazy, but a dope a scheme. Liked the flow!

Geno · 09-13-2013, 05:45 PM

Enjoyed it. Abstract. Cool shit in there

dull boy · 09-13-2013, 07:03 PM

I WANT YOUR WORD, LUE!

This verse made me happy.

oats · 09-13-2013, 08:12 PM

you can't fuck with norman's prices
I thought the bitch was cancer but she's acting sorta pisces
The monster has risen,
What exactly is honest & Christian?

loved this part.

Wise Wiggles · 09-13-2013, 08:16 PM

I was going to add on something like

The monster has risen, Dahmer tradition inside a conjugal visit.

But I'm lazy.

PancakeBrah · 09-13-2013, 08:23 PM

You have a knack for undermining yourself, whether it be in titles (your last open mic) or in the short preamble before this piece begins. Most of the time when someone does this it's a sort of humble-brag in the vein of self-deprecation. As in, 'I think this is good, but I'm self-conscious and don't want people to think I think it's good so here's this caveat, but jeez, I sure hope people like this. Shhh'. But with you it seems pretty genuine, coming from a place of malaise or boredom. Although I will say that the title of your last open mic was a pretty obvious aping of Bwhaha's titling style. That's neither here nor there. Here it's thorough. I liked the juxtaposition of the title 'Escape' and the opening sentence. This was good, though. You have a patented style and don't usually deviate it from it. This piece had all the hallmarks. A focus on rhymes and off-kilter topics, wording, and references. You have a definite "delivery", if such a thing exists in text.

"This is Wise.., short for Wisecology
I don't have time for apologies, my mind's warped. Just follow me"

Dope x2.

"Stoning a stoner. Step up, get your coma-diploma"

Cool.

"The monster has risen,
What exactly is honest & Christian?"

A little 'deeper' than I remember you usually get. Cool.

"walk into the stoooore with a pocket full of nickelssss
galoshes. cold & dismal. prada-poor with Rizzle
tall hats & golf claps like this opera cult is civil
the puddles form a ritual, as I shuffle porn in silence
a couple's warm. politeness.. ohhhhhhh
you can't fuck with norman's prices"

My favoritest part.

Fun read.

CopyPat · 09-14-2013, 05:48 PM

yes sir.

should have added the
The monster has risen, Dahmer tradition inside a conjugal visit.

obv..

this is typical dub dub
standard issue whys ways, damaged tissue rhyme flames on a canvas easel like paint, with random bits of life pain to sandwich in the blind rage

dull boy · 09-15-2013, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CopyPat

standard issue whys ways, damaged tissue rhyme flames on a canvas easel like paint, with random bits of life pain to sandwich in the blind rage

dope

dead man · 09-15-2013, 01:26 PM

you can't fuck with norman's prices
I thought the bitch was cancer but she's acting sorta pisces

this made me laugh in my head not lol but it was tight.

This is Wise.., short for Wisecology

that would be a cool username.

Cuz I'm wearing ya mom's face running errands w/Tom Hanks
You little swaggots, fuck your hoes in ya Rover
Peep the crows on the shoulder

wordddd. tom hanks line was sick on a whiteboy level..

fight club reference is also an auto-win

thanks buddy.

Bodey · 09-17-2013, 02:08 AM

man your shit is always interesting to read through, definitely thought-provoking no matter what. and again, you've always been one of those people that get me in the mood to write-- majorly important to me

stoner/coma-diploma was tight

I WANT YOUR WORD, LOU- bird flu of the pen
Hurt you in the end? Never, we burn blue-
Watch it burst through the lense, while I whirl you in circles of wind
^^ favorite part. so effortlessly smooth

good read, post more!

Pakistani Hand Cannon · 09-17-2013, 03:19 PM

id tell you what i thought of this...but unless its all postive you take it like a full blown bitch

soooo fuck it

lmfao

#1

PancakeBrah · 09-17-2013, 03:40 PM

Lammmao he rugged sjsjfjgkvkdmsnsjxjcje he don't give a FUCK

Mr. J · 09-17-2013, 05:54 PM

this was very entertaining the flow was on point
as well as your vocabulary choice

really enjoyed the first half then the middle switched it up
I enjoyed the pantomime fingers and all that other stuff
very nice work all around though my dude
keep writing

09-13-2013, 07:05 AM	#3
Dove Dozer loose leaf bruce lee Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,077 Battle Record: 7-6 Rep Power: 1853216	Its alright. __________________

09-13-2013, 07:06 AM	#4
Dove Dozer loose leaf bruce lee Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,077 Battle Record: 7-6 Rep Power: 1853216	Im kidding. It was dope. But u dont give a fuck so.. Lol __________________

09-13-2013, 09:43 AM	#5
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	I'd spend more time, Zom, it's just I get side-tracked & antsy. I'm a pothead! :/ __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

09-13-2013, 05:45 PM	#7
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	Enjoyed it. Abstract. Cool shit in there __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

09-13-2013, 08:12 PM	#9
oats Steel Cut Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 5,084 Battle Record: 19-10 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 79005428	you can't fuck with norman's prices I thought the bitch was cancer but she's acting sorta pisces The monster has risen, What exactly is honest & Christian? loved this part. __________________ You should be water

09-13-2013, 12:59 AM	#1
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	Escape Some random thoughts flying around in here, so if you're not feeling this shit. Idgaf. Peace. I sing long jingles tidying my cling-on dingles Trying to balance w/out breaking like seesaw Pringles walk into the stoooore with a pocket full of nickelssss galoshes. cold & dismal. prada-poor with Rizzle tall hats & golf claps like this opera cult is civil the puddles form a ritual, as I shuffle porn in silence a couple's warm. politeness.. ohhhhhhh you can't fuck with norman's prices I thought the bitch was cancer but she's acting sorta pisces The monster has risen, What exactly is honest & Christian? I wander in rhythms & fight myself like Tom in oblivion Ahem This is Wise.., short for Wisecology I don't have time for apologies, my mind's warped. Just follow me Signs. Sores. The Conjuring- haven't seen it, but it's hands I speak with Fucking anti-English. Tamp drys? Eat it- this is camp, Where ants die squeamish. Pantomime fingers, "where the bong at dre?" Is it chair & a straw hat day? Like a bear & his claws, tearing ya jaw half-way Just beware of the songs that play- Better cherish her soft grace while you stare at this saw blade Cuz I'm wearing ya mom's face running errands w/Tom Hanks You little swaggots, fuck your hoes in ya Rover Peep the crows on the shoulder, turning your coals to a smolder Stoning a stoner. Step up, get your coma-diploma I WANT YOUR WORD, LOU- bird flu of the pen Hurt you in the end? Never, we burn blue- Watch it burst through the lense, while I whirl you in circles of wind In the middle of oceans. Lost riddle, botched rhythm of closure Escape. Andy Dufrain it. Here's a rock chisel & poster __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

09-13-2013, 01:12 AM	#2
Zombie Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 125 Battle Record: 5-0 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 2645340	Lol :p. I liked all the random aspects. I wish you'd spend more time on it

09-13-2013, 07:03 PM	#8
dull boy consults Lloyd Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 4,053 Battle Record: 0-8 Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast Rep Power: 39345604	I WANT YOUR WORD, LUE! This verse made me happy.

09-13-2013, 08:16 PM	#10
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	I was going to add on something like The monster has risen, Dahmer tradition inside a conjugal visit. But I'm lazy. __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

09-13-2013, 08:23 PM	#11
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	You have a knack for undermining yourself, whether it be in titles (your last open mic) or in the short preamble before this piece begins. Most of the time when someone does this it's a sort of humble-brag in the vein of self-deprecation. As in, 'I think this is good, but I'm self-conscious and don't want people to think I think it's good so here's this caveat, but jeez, I sure hope people like this. Shhh'. But with you it seems pretty genuine, coming from a place of malaise or boredom. Although I will say that the title of your last open mic was a pretty obvious aping of Bwhaha's titling style. That's neither here nor there. Here it's thorough. I liked the juxtaposition of the title 'Escape' and the opening sentence. This was good, though. You have a patented style and don't usually deviate it from it. This piece had all the hallmarks. A focus on rhymes and off-kilter topics, wording, and references. You have a definite "delivery", if such a thing exists in text. "This is Wise.., short for Wisecology I don't have time for apologies, my mind's warped. Just follow me" Dope x2. "Stoning a stoner. Step up, get your coma-diploma" Cool. "The monster has risen, What exactly is honest & Christian?" A little 'deeper' than I remember you usually get. Cool. "walk into the stoooore with a pocket full of nickelssss galoshes. cold & dismal. prada-poor with Rizzle tall hats & golf claps like this opera cult is civil the puddles form a ritual, as I shuffle porn in silence a couple's warm. politeness.. ohhhhhhh you can't fuck with norman's prices" My favoritest part. Fun read. __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder

09-14-2013, 05:48 PM	#12
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	yes sir. should have added the The monster has risen, Dahmer tradition inside a conjugal visit. obv.. this is typical dub dub standard issue whys ways, damaged tissue rhyme flames on a canvas easel like paint, with random bits of life pain to sandwich in the blind rage __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

09-15-2013, 01:26 PM	#14
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	you can't fuck with norman's prices I thought the bitch was cancer but she's acting sorta pisces this made me laugh in my head not lol but it was tight. This is Wise.., short for Wisecology that would be a cool username. Cuz I'm wearing ya mom's face running errands w/Tom Hanks You little swaggots, fuck your hoes in ya Rover Peep the crows on the shoulder wordddd. tom hanks line was sick on a whiteboy level.. fight club reference is also an auto-win thanks buddy. __________________ Zack Wicks for president

09-17-2013, 03:19 PM	#16
Pakistani Hand Cannon Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 1,230 Rep Power: 5303583	id tell you what i thought of this...but unless its all postive you take it like a full blown bitch soooo fuck it lmfao #1

09-17-2013, 03:40 PM	#17
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	Lammmao he rugged sjsjfjgkvkdmsnsjxjcje he don't give a FUCK

09-17-2013, 05:54 PM	#18
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	this was very entertaining the flow was on point as well as your vocabulary choice really enjoyed the first half then the middle switched it up I enjoyed the pantomime fingers and all that other stuff very nice work all around though my dude keep writing __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you