PRD: Entry 4, Bar Attack.

[FR33KtheG33K]

SUBJECT: Patient #33
TIME: 0428 hours
DETAILS:

" Currently under twenty four hour observation patient #33 has been pacing the room for the past one hundred and twenty three minutes, muttering to himself. After a failed attempt at offering medication, he finally relaxed in the corner and continued writing in the state issued legal pad. He finally fell asleep to which the nurse aide entered his living quarters and retrieved the pad, attached is a copy of what was written for further clinical observance and study. Please return to patient file upon completion. "

they keep passing over my work like i havent earned atleast a view,
while these other lames flourish previously i was in a peaceful mood
now i am just irked, all of these netcees are food,
fr33k relax someone on this site fckin' believes in you
these bars are works for art my masterpiece is collossal
every rhyme every line a brush stroke from piccasso
but every thread i read and all the feed pride gets harder to swollow
ready to pop the fucking cork on all of the emotions i bottled
fuck your topicals, i pen the illest shit while burning the tropicals
real recognize real look me right in my opticals
through the retna straight into my soul, you can find the truth in there
these lines are fucking HARD, they see eye to eye with Medusa stare
trying to stay A-HEAD of the SNAKES, fuck Medusa HAIR
just look at the intri***y of my metaphors, the proof is here.
a touch of King Midas in these bars so every read's golden
its intimidation that makes them laugh it off and keep scrolling
making me want to track I.P. addresses through ethernet connections
and crack somebody spinal coloumn in eight or nine different directions
this guns extended mag look like it took an Extenz and got an erection
me letting these rounds off is just a fckin' cry for attention..

ugh..im just frustrated, feeling unappreciated, i didn't mean to take it out on yall.. im sorry.

apology accepted. now lets get back to the art.
these lines rip the time-space fabric apart, fracture the stars.
thanks for tagging along, giving your feedback while im rapping these bars
i know you see my scripts are biblical, this is the Rapture from God
Genesis to Revelation, God said let there be light,
so I try to enlight every time I rap on a mic.
multis, and metaphors all packed in tight.
while your favorite rapper on the site is fckin' whack and he bite.
i keep it authentic....man these faggots aint nice
every word i write equivelent to the passion of Christ
so next time you mention freek, mention im back and im ready
to flow like new orleans louisiana with a sabotaged levy
kidnap your favorite netcee and put him in a back of a chevy
and film the whole thing then upload it on this site as my Avi

...just trying to loosen up and get rid of this writers block,
im trying to write actual songs tonight....

[Natural]

Wow.
This deserves feed.
Normally I dislike the long bar length....
But this was done so well...I overlooked that and was able to see you're skill shine through.
If this is you with writers block, I can't wait to see you at full capacity.
I also like how you wrote from two perspectives(one being yours).

Originally Posted by FR33KtheG33K

SUBJECT: Patient #33
TIME: 0428 hours
DETAILS:

" Currently under twenty four hour observation patient #33 has been pacing the room for the past one hundred and twenty three minutes, muttering to himself. After a failed attempt at offering medication, he finally relaxed in the corner and continued writing in the state issued legal pad. He finally fell asleep to which the nurse aide entered his living quarters and retrieved the pad, attached is a copy of what was written for further clinical observance and study. Please return to patient file upon completion. "

they keep passing over my work like i havent earned atleast a view,
while these other lames flourish previously i was in a peaceful mood
now i am just irked, all of these netcees are food,
↑Nice. These were the perfect lines to capture my interest


fr33k relax someone on this site fckin' believes in you
these bars are works for art my masterpiece is collossal
every rhyme every line a brush stroke from piccasso
↑Decent enough

but every thread i read and all the feed pride gets harder to swollow
ready to pop the fucking cork on all of the emotions i bottled
↑Relatable. All of us have felt this way at one point or another(though most wouldn't admit it).


fuck your topicals, i pen the illest shit while burning the tropicals
real recognize real look me right in my opticals
↑Lol

through the retna straight into my soul, you can find the truth in there
these lines are fucking HARD, they see eye to eye with Medusa stare
trying to stay A-HEAD of the SNAKES, fuck Medusa HAIR
↑This was fucking dope. Incorporate more of this type of creativity in ya writing and you will be noticed.

just look at the intri***y of my metaphors, the proof is here.
a touch of King Midas in these bars so every read's golden
its intimidation that makes them laugh it off and keep scrolling
making me want to track I.P. addresses through ethernet connections
and crack somebody spinal coloumn in eight or nine different directions
this guns extended mag look like it took an Extenz and got an erection
me letting these rounds off is just a fckin' cry for attention..
↑These has a unique steeze to it....perhaps slightly eminem influenced? Maybe not. Either way dope. If you could tighten up ya bars and drop the syllable count a little(all the while still being creative) I think it would come off smoother. Either way though do what works for you. This is just a mere suggestion from me to you.

ugh..im just frustrated, feeling unappreciated, i didn't mean to take it out on yall.. im sorry.

apology accepted. now lets get back to the art.
these lines rip the time-space fabric apart, fracture the stars.
thanks for tagging along, giving your feedback while im rapping these bars
i know you see my scripts are biblical, this is the Rapture from God
↑Dope

Genesis to Revelation, God said let there be light,
so I try to enlight every time I rap on a mic.
multis, and metaphors all packed in tight.
↑I think the last line here could have been reworded.
Still good though.

Multi's and metaphors? I pack em in tight
↑Something like that perhaps.

while your favorite rapper on the site is fckin' whack and he bite.
i keep it authentic....man these faggots aint nice
Lmfao. I hope this gets a response.


every word i write equivelent to the passion of Christ
so next time you mention freek, mention im back and im ready
to flow like new orleans louisiana with a sabotaged levy
kidnap your favorite netcee and put him in a back of a chevy
and film the whole thing then upload it on this site as my Avi

...just trying to loosen up and get rid of this writers block,
im trying to write actual songs tonight....

Overall dude. Massive potential. Buckle down and go beyond this.
Nice ish .
Stay up.

[FR33KtheG33K]

thanks bro i appreciate it. i have been in a slump the last couple of days but ive got a couple scribes to put out..the next couple days are going to be interesting. thanks again.