Truth Syrum

Nigma · 09-27-2013, 02:54 PM

Truth Syrum

A home grown potent liquid being held in my hand now
Known for confining lies, only truth from a mans mouth
Your closet could have skeletal stacked piles
Still a splash of the vial brings the facts out
Kidnapped the man proudly laying the traps out
For every damn child propped with the ganda crowd
You nap on the planets couch and newborn hands sprout
Lowered defensive swords, guards caught with their pants down
Schools back so he's sat down to chat with a class crowd
Here's some words from Mr. Wrathchild after a half vial

Wrathchild Monologue
He said "It's been a damn while since we robbed the economy
Saw money fall in our claws and we brought on the flaws you see
But now adays you'll find a childs mind is the tallest commodity
The unknown cultural oddessy of what we call the fortune we house
We bought and conquered countries, made them hungry and poorly endowed
Then turned the corporate route and now we're whoring them out
Then to fortify our wealth we're holding wars with ourself
Without forming a thought about those orphaned for clout
Still a ruthless fire burns inside me, fueled by you group of swine
The nuissance of a youthful mind which uses its illumined eyes
Students, truth is, I'm removing human rights, do it to reduce your kind
I don't mean in wholesome numbers but in global conciousness
Erosion of your hope to conquer us is the woeful consequence
Remove the soul and mind and leave a body who's thoughts I give
And when you all are Walking Dead we lobby for a zombie apocolypse
A nearly flawless plan, only thing that could harm us..
Awareness... It's the rarely seen chink in the armor."

Through the Illumined Eyes
I sat within that class before a man who was empowered by Satan
I've felt betrayed and aroused by the anchor of doubt in my anger
Since that hallowing day my brains spent thousands of hours debating..
Audible life story, that was loudest chapter replaying it back till its paved in
Minds been running laps since embracing the facts in that Wrathchild statement
If he had the power to make us perhaps he had the power to devour our hatred..
Feel like my past is vacant..
It is what I make it like a canvas painting born then faded
Am I normal? Mourned for what I've sworn is ages
Seeing morons and it seems as though theres more then their outta be
More and more are born brainless, formless storks preform the labotomy
Torn origins of the souls only tour of the body
Church leaders leaving childhoods contorted by sodomy
Noose tightens, deaths hanger, like abortions in poverty
It does more then hurting feelings, shit, it's severing nerves
Start by forgetting our birth, learn the truth and start spreading the word
If they manipulate the children then it's their aim to rule ya
Since "he alone, who owns the youth will be gaining the future"

zygote · 09-28-2013, 01:36 PM

Remember reading this on the netcees.com original website Netcees Writing League competition or maybe SvW forum section. Regardless just gave it another read over now, I remember liking the 'Wrath-child Monologues' part on the original reading, but now perhaps after more consideration the final section is the strongest. I think you could have improved the second part by not including the word "I" perhaps putting it in third person or "we" to make it more distant. This only became evident because the "I" parts in the last section were so striking. E.g., "Feel like my past is vacant..
It is what I make it like a canvas painting born then faded
Am I normal? Mourned for what I've sworn is ages"

09-27-2013, 02:54 PM	#1
Nigma The COAT... Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 1,723 Battle Record: 28-20 Champed - Art of Writing League (x3) Rep Power: 4595813	Truth Syrum Truth Syrum A home grown potent liquid being held in my hand now Known for confining lies, only truth from a mans mouth Your closet could have skeletal stacked piles Still a splash of the vial brings the facts out Kidnapped the man proudly laying the traps out For every damn child propped with the ganda crowd You nap on the planets couch and newborn hands sprout Lowered defensive swords, guards caught with their pants down Schools back so he's sat down to chat with a class crowd Here's some words from Mr. Wrathchild after a half vial Wrathchild Monologue He said "It's been a damn while since we robbed the economy Saw money fall in our claws and we brought on the flaws you see But now adays you'll find a childs mind is the tallest commodity The unknown cultural oddessy of what we call the fortune we house We bought and conquered countries, made them hungry and poorly endowed Then turned the corporate route and now we're whoring them out Then to fortify our wealth we're holding wars with ourself Without forming a thought about those orphaned for clout Still a ruthless fire burns inside me, fueled by you group of swine The nuissance of a youthful mind which uses its illumined eyes Students, truth is, I'm removing human rights, do it to reduce your kind I don't mean in wholesome numbers but in global conciousness Erosion of your hope to conquer us is the woeful consequence Remove the soul and mind and leave a body who's thoughts I give And when you all are Walking Dead we lobby for a zombie apocolypse A nearly flawless plan, only thing that could harm us.. Awareness... It's the rarely seen chink in the armor." Through the Illumined Eyes I sat within that class before a man who was empowered by Satan I've felt betrayed and aroused by the anchor of doubt in my anger Since that hallowing day my brains spent thousands of hours debating.. Audible life story, that was loudest chapter replaying it back till its paved in Minds been running laps since embracing the facts in that Wrathchild statement If he had the power to make us perhaps he had the power to devour our hatred.. Feel like my past is vacant.. It is what I make it like a canvas painting born then faded Am I normal? Mourned for what I've sworn is ages Seeing morons and it seems as though theres more then their outta be More and more are born brainless, formless storks preform the labotomy Torn origins of the souls only tour of the body Church leaders leaving childhoods contorted by sodomy Noose tightens, deaths hanger, like abortions in poverty It does more then hurting feelings, shit, it's severing nerves Start by forgetting our birth, learn the truth and start spreading the word If they manipulate the children then it's their aim to rule ya Since "he alone, who owns the youth will be gaining the future" __________________

09-28-2013, 01:36 PM	#2
zygote Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 501 Battle Record: 33-12 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Art of Writing League (3x) Rep Power: 737828	Remember reading this on the netcees.com original website Netcees Writing League competition or maybe SvW forum section. Regardless just gave it another read over now, I remember liking the 'Wrath-child Monologues' part on the original reading, but now perhaps after more consideration the final section is the strongest. I think you could have improved the second part by not including the word "I" perhaps putting it in third person or "we" to make it more distant. This only became evident because the "I" parts in the last section were so striking. E.g., "Feel like my past is vacant.. It is what I make it like a canvas painting born then faded Am I normal? Mourned for what I've sworn is ages"