WEEK FOUR MAG: SONIC THE MAFUCKIN HEDGEHOG

Adverse · 04-15-2022, 06:16 AM

INTRODUCTION:
What’s up fellas? Kudos to everyone for another successful week of competitive manpoetry. You are all deserving of a virtual round of applause, without your efforts this league would be in no better shape than the previous ones I’ve had the misfortune of running. It’s a great time to be alive though folks, we’ve got another stacked mag on deck, all the usual amenities along with an interview or two with a couple of legends. And last but not least Sonic The MAFUCKIN Hedgehog 2 is out in theaters so go see that shit. (My lawyer told me to add the disclaimer that Sonic the MAFUCKIN Hedgehog is is in no way shape or form a sponsor for/affiliate of my fuckery, which is kind of a disappointment.)

REVIEWS
Had some great battles this week, and guess what? Not a single no show. Everybody was ready and everybody showed out, can’t ask for much more than that.

DOMINATE VS BROKENHAL0

Let’s start with the pretty obvious battle of the week in my eyes, this was a cool clash of styles and honestly came down more to subjectivity than anything (which is what most topical battles come down to in all honesty) the topic here was admittedly a little more complex than usual and left a lot open for interpretation, it was great to see the battlers take it two completely opposite directions as well. Hal0 geared towards telling a story of a drifting homeless person jumping from bus stop to bus stop and detailing his exploits. His piece was completely overstuffed with detail and imagery (sometimes to a fault, detailing a coat hanger abortion and a whole sharting/farting escapade.) all in all though it was a pretty compelling verse. Dominate continued his streak this week, writing about the archangel, Michael and how much he hates his job as the decision maker on who goes to Hell and Heaven. Was really a clever piece through and through, had comedy mixed in with other serious elements and let’s not forget the flow which really carried the piece all the way through. Though Hal0 managed to grab two of the votes, Dom just overwhelmed him here. He remains undefeated this season.
WINNER: DOM

SINACOG VS ADONIS

This one doesn’t really need to be reviewed m. Sinacog was Sinacog and Adonis literally pulled something out of his ass at the last second, but he had some good poetic language and a few bright spots in his short piece but all in all I think a door handle could have wrote a piece that would have been victorious here.
WINNER: ADONIS

BLUE BAYOU VS EVICTION

I wouldn’t call this one an upset by any means, Eviction has seemed to coast through these first couple weeks worth relative ease. He shined here as well even though Blue didn’t give him much of a fight. Coming off a long weekend it was a miracle Blue showed at all, he took a meta route with his verse and it seemed..rushed which is understandable. I don’t mind this type of verse personally but without a clever twist on it I don’t think he’ll garner many votes with this sort of approach (see Universe’s vote for more detail) think it’s more frustrating to voters because Blue has showed what a force he can be topically when it has his focus, but other than a few funny one liners he didn’t give us much here.
WINNER: EVICTION

MASTER ROCK VS OBJECTIVE
This was a great matchup on paper. These two have showed similar promise and have been undone by similar problems. It seems that rushing and not polishing their final product has bit them more times than they can count. This was only the cause for Objective here, though he had some good ideas he didn’t give as much thought as he needed to the piece. Master Rock on the other hand switched up his style a little bit, you could feel the meaning behind what he was writing, had a lot more small detailing that some of his quicker pieces lack which ultimate got him the win. But don’t expect that to be the last you see from these two.
WINNER: MASTER ROCK

THROWBACK BATTLE OF THE WEEK:
This one comes to you from the grand finale of Black August II which involved yours truly and Lars. Ultimately Lars won 2-0 (but don’t you dare tell anyone or they’ll remove my accolade that I earned fair and square through miscommunication)

ADVERSE:

I bob and ebb in the ink of these stories that I bled to reality
Being drowned by every word and stanza I’ve let fester out of me
My face squeezes out of the black ocean, gaze turned to a red sky
Peering past the decaying clouds, straight into God’s dead eyes
I awoke in a sweat and a panic, peel my face from the desk in my annex
What does the imagery all mean?! I copy it to paper from my head ‘fore it vanished
I stare at the threads I’ve connected, find a place for the painting
Trying to piece together a whole though it’s straight complicating
Through the shadowy corridors I pace, until my legs are defeated
When that don’t work I get down and pray, I try and beg for a meanin’
I’ve shunned my wife and my kid, they probably can’t tell I’m sorry
I spend my waking moments glued to the screen, in a lime-tinted melancholy
Won a thousand topical titles! But then why can’t I let it be?
I’m the best there will ever be! Spent the last decade cementin my legacy
The king of the textcees, no one’s more deservin’ of that!
If you could hang all my internet plaques in this chat room, the servers would crash
You really think this all ain’t worth it? That they’d try and ditch my story?
Not likely my verses will forever be in the Scriptures - at least Richard Corey’s
But still I as a chief wordsmith, am unable to decipher these dreams
Full of this mindlessness, death, stress, lightning and screams
Day after day I waste away, you see the shape that I’m in?
I tap tap the keys with calloused fingers, I wear my age on my skin
Suffocate in these man poems, until I’m purple in the face
The words whirlwind “what’s my purpose? Is this worthless? Is this FAKE!?”
I’ve poured my heart and soul into this, now’s not the time to lose faith
I’ve missed birthdays, I’ve missed funerals just to get bars in by the due date

Another night another nightmare, hastily I escape from sleep
I quickly sketch the vision I’d seen, post it up on the wall n then place the strings
It all finally makes sense, this scene that has just came to me
I’m staring at the painting tentatively- a grandfather clock whose pendulum’s digging a grave for me
I blink and it’s gone! I’m bedridden at 83
This started out as a hobby just killin time, till time turned her blade on me

Lars:

”Time of Death”

Few things are certain in life, as a matter of interest,
you work ‘til you die and are taxed for the privilege.
Our family business leaned on this premise too —
as black and as grim as our cheap polyester suits.
My job as Head of Funeral Direction required a want to embrace
positive change so business turned over, just not in their graves.
The modernisation of burials is often revised
to ensure our pockets as lined as the coffins supplied.
This clock had survived my Grandfather, and his before him,
so the concept of time waiting for no one rang with importance.
Its hands were enormous, with a face set in tenebrous black,
expression as blank as pallbearing professionals have.
The ready example epitomised all gravediggers should be
I hadn’t just tinkered beneath it, so much as built a MACHINE!
By increasing the speed of its gear chain to automate the procedure
its spade could dig deeper than any man, without taking a breather.
The cost of labour was cheaper and graves appeared in abundance
with its centralised bevelled eye overseeing production.
But without the people to put inside the plot thickens as well
every ditch that it delved meant a bigger hole I’d dig for myself.
The funny thing having dealt with death is the changes it inhibits
and some say that it elicits strange behaviours in the living.
I aimed to save the business from ever-dwindling debts
but never came to make a killing in the literal sense.
Now several victims are buried after being choked to their deaths
only instead of the dearly departed, it’s me in over my head.
With no body left to turn to, no place to vanish and hide
in the back of my mind I know it’s all just a matter of time.
So I glance up at my invention as it’s pendulum falls
better of course to be buried alive by it than the stress of it all.
I set it to automatic and watch as its cold, black hand twitches
my last gasps ticking away slowly before the taxman visits!

UNIVERSE INTERVIEW

1. For those who aren’t really aware, you’re the one who spoke this whole “Project X” into existence. What do you think will be the reaction to it and what do you hope to achieve with it?

First off, I love that phrase "spoke into existence"... I mean, I guess I love it ironically because it always seemed like such an oxymoron to me. Like something's not real until you say it, yet our thoughts before we speak are actually the realest we could ever hope to be... And, by the time it goes through our mouths and into people's ears it has to pass about 3 filters and the original message is usually lost by then... So moral of the story is... yeah, nothing real exists. Anyway... what was the question?

Oh yeah, Project X. I think the reaction to it will be a lot of "cool concept"s and "I want to do that", but ultimately end up with no one doing anything except making excuses in the discussion thread. What's up Master Rock... I understand it's a daunting task to create such a large narrative and weave all the threads together, you got to be kind of a masochist to want to do this sort of thing for really a very minimal payoff. But hey, that's me. To quote Nick Diaz, "In order to love this shit, you have to hate it. You got to love it until you want it so bad that you push yourself to those limits where you just simply hate it. And if you ain't there to where you hate it... then good luck trying to love this shit."

Poetry.

Honestly though... I hope it catches on and people just take the ball and run with it every week. That's the goal. Because not everybody wants to sign in and compete... but everyone wants to write. That's why we're here. That's why I wanted to create something like this. For the ACTIVATE_SELF's of the world who grab a random topic pic and make an Open Mic about it. I wanted to give people an arena free of the constraints and rules of a league, yet still be part of it. And I wanted it to be so difficult that the toll you have to pay for this freedom is the challenge itself. I'm going to lay the foundation for what's expected this week with my Project X piece, (actually by the time people read this it will already be up) so hopefully everybody will see the effort I put into it and follow suit.

I also hope we can get some cool collabs going with it. Other than Lars & MMLP we don't really see much of those. Hopefully this is an avenue toward that.

2. You haven’t competed yet but I know you’ve been watching the league, who’s somebody who has surprised you this season? And who’s somebody that might not be living up to expectations?

Dominate surprised me with how good he was. I mean, I saw what he did in the tag tournament and I knew he was a good battler, but topicals are a different beast and he has proven to be a beast of many names. I really like his dedication.

The only one not living up to expectations would actually be Lars. He's been behaving himself and it's nice to see for once.

3. What could use some improvement as far as the league goes? From the outside looking?

In?

I think you should reintroduce the weekly pic challenges with the 16 line limits. Those were fun little side activites every week. Also voting can always improve... Not just the amount of votes, but the quality of the breakdowns. People love seeing their work get dissected... for better or worse. Makes the process worth it.

4. If the playoffs started today who would be your favorite to become champion?

Lars. Although I'm really looking forward to the inevitable Lars vs. Dominate champ match.

5. I know you’ve been doing a lot of side projects and what not. Are you joining the this season? And if so when is the right time?

Joining the... ? What? League? I'm calling you out on everything here, Addy lol.

But honestly unless someone starts a topical league with like 100 line maximums or more I probably won't. My toughest competition every week (other than understanding Candy) is the line limit and I'm finding it more and more difficult to keep a leash on myself. I hate cutting lines out, sometimes entire chunks of my peice and then losing... It's like, "Dude, you didn't see the complete portrait!". I feel like I'm handicapping myself to fit into a box that I don't belong in in the first place... and then getting penalized for it. I mean, force a marathon runner to sprint over and over again and eventually he's just gonna stop racing. Makes sense, right?

So yeah, short story long...* probably not. But what do Tom Brady and the Undertaker's retirement have in common?

Never say never.

DOMINATE INTERVIEW

Hey Dom, thanks for sitting (I assume you’re sitting?) down with me this week and answering some questions. I appreciate what an asset you’ve been to this league man.

No problem, happy to do it. I am sitting, in an office chair I took from my place of employment when corona was first kicking off and we were getting sent home to work. It's very comfortable. There was another equally comfortable chair waiting for me at my desk when I finally returned to the office, so I guess I'm keeping this one.

1. It’s no secret you’ve been one of the standouts of this season thus far. You just champed the tag team tourney with Aero a couple months ago. My question is, what is in your skill set that makes you a talented writer in both forms of text? Is there any kind of overlap between topicals and text battling?

I would really only consider myself an upper mid tier topicalist at best, but thank you. There definitely is an overlap in skill sets and I wouldn't be nearly as good a writer without all these years of text battles under my belt. Probably the biggest transferable skill would be rhyming things in a way where your wording doesn't come off sounding awkward, - finding multis that fit naturally with what you're saying. There's a knack to wording your lines so that they're the right length with sounds stressed in the right places to keep a rhythm humming along too, even besides the rhyming. As an Aussie I also had to learn the hard way a long time ago that Americans don't pronounce certain things the same way I do. Sometimes I still slip there - last week I rhymed 'suitable spin' with 'beautiful thing' and Universe pulled me up on it. It sounds fine to me but there you go. In terms of content I think there's some overlap but it's less tangible. Coming up with a take on a topic feels a little bit like coming up with a punch/wordplay combo - finding a creative and interesting idea to write about with some constraints added.

2. When you look at the other battlers on the roster, is there anyone who sticks out to you? Anyone who looks they’re going to be a threat going forward?

Lars and Universe are the two I would consider to be elite and the ones I'm looking up to the most trying to improve my own writing here. Well, Lars isn't signed in currently and Universe is just voting and doing the project X thing, so I guess they're not really on the roster (here's my chance to champ!)... but still, they're around. Blue is the GOAT of text battling IMO so I'm hoping he'll stay signed in and find the time and effort to write to the level he's capable of going forward - really interested to see what he can do in this arena. I've only read one verse from you, this week, but you're clearly a talented writer too and more than capable of champing if you stay signed in.

3. You talked a lot about legacy and what not with dead man last week. I want to know in your equally as impressive tenure in text, what accomplishment are you most proud of?

I actually don't really have a very long list of accomplishments in text battling - not all that many leagues/tourneys champed. I'm easily in my own top 3 favourite all time battlers on skill alone, - if I take my best work and hold it up to anyone else's I think I could be the best... but I don't have the body of work that some others have (that's why Blue is the GOAT even though line for line I think I'm a teensy bit better than him). I just pop up for a few months every few years. My favourite verses I've written are probably the one against Barcotic on RB a few years ago and the one against Blue/Zuch I wrote for the tag tourney finals recently.

4. Let’s talk Sinacog, you’ve been one of his more vocal supporters this season. What do you think he brings to the league? And do you think he’s trolling or just really fucked?

Until I read your article a few weeks ago my best guess was that he was a Lars troll. I had no idea how long he'd been around or that he used to be kind of good. I hope he's trolling. "The rise of Sinacog" would be an amazing topic to hand someone to muse about the alternatives though. I'd love to read a creative and fleshed out theory about him in verse form. I find him hilarious. His verses are short enough to not be a chore - just a quick bit of levity every week... and being against him lets his opponent try out an approach or style they might think is too risky against someone else.

5. Where do you draw inspiration from when writing? Whether it be music, life, or just plain out imagination?

I get inspired to write by seeing others do it well. The first time I decided to have a go at topicals was in one of the early seasons of the AOWL when there was an insane amount of activity and talent going around. I enjoyed that brief little jaunt into this arena, figured I'd give it another go now after the tag tourney finished and this was starting up. In terms of what inspires what I write about, I don't know. I need to find more inspiration there. Honestly I feel like the range of what I can write about well is kinda narrow. I can usually fall back on a lighthearted/humorous approach because that comes more naturally to me moving over from battling, but I'd like to branch out from that and figure out how to write a good old manpoem and write emotions and themes better. I think I'm much more analytical/technical than I am creative. I know what good writing IS but actually coming up with something to say is harder.

6. Are you enjoying this league so far? Anything I can improve upon?

Very much so. You're doing a fantastic job. Great mags, great memes, you're balancing getting enough votes in with keeping the momentum going and setting up the new weeks really well. Trying out new and creative ideas like the project X thing. Dope. Appreciate the hell out of people like you who keep this hobby alive. Perhaps one thing I'd suggest is to vary the types of topics a little more - maybe some pictures that are actual photographs pulled from somewhere, or more a more abstract kind of art - something a little more open ended that challenges you creatively - like how about just a picture of a basic geometric shape? "Your topic is: triangle". Or just a colour. Or even no pictures, - use a written prompt. Song names from your favourite album. Lines from a movie. Sinacog quotes. Barcotic wordplays. Etc. Although, this is just my personal preference - all the topics in battles I've seen for years have been similar to what you're doing and maybe there's a reason for that. I'll work with whatever you give me and just to reiterate - you're doing a helluva job.

Thanks for the interview, this was fun.

PREVIEWS:
Before we get into previews this week I just wanted to let everyone know next week will be our first contenders matches (with our first champ match happening in Week Six) though being an in-season champion pales in comparison to winning the entire league, it’s still customary and quite an honor as well. You’re all writing your hearts out and it shows. Thanks for everyone’s effort thus far.

MASTER ROCK (2-1) vs DOMINATE (3-0)
“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." - Casablanca, 1942

This is potentially the battle of the week here. Both have differing styles, Rock relies on a lot of raw imagery and verbose language, while Dom is really more of a technical writer and a really good storyteller. Rock was impressive last week in a win against Objective, tapping into a more polished and more poetic version of himself. He could give the undefeated Dom problems if he can carry over his momentum this week. To be honest Master Rock isn’t going to do anything to “lose” this battle but I think Dom continues his winning streak and just out writes Rock. We will see though.
PREDICTION: DOMINATE WINS 65/35

BROKENHAL0 (2-1) vs EVICTION (2-0)
"Which would be worse, to live a monster or die as a good man?" Shutter Island, 2010

As far as battles go this one is a helluva sleeper. Though Eviction had an easy walk to 2-0 getting Sinacog in his first week and an uninspired Blue in his second, he has been one of the more consistent writers in the noooo league and has earned his record. Hal0 has been just as good if not better taking a couple of tough wins and even managing to scrape a few votes off Dominate in their battle last week. It all comes down to who is going to tell the more coherent story and who is going to want it more. This is a hard one to even decide because both writers are good at different things much like Rock vs Dom. But only one could win and I guess I’ll lean towards Hal0 revenging his loss last week.
PREDICTION: BROKENHAL0 WINS 51/49

TIMELESS (0-2) vs SINACOG (0-2) vs CANDY (0-3)
"Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make." - Dracula, 1931

Our first triple threat of the season promises one thing; that one of these writers is no longer going to be winless after this week. Who will it be you ask? Well even though this topic plays more to Candy’s and Sinacog’s strengths, I truly believe this is Timeless’s battle to lose. Timeless has been through a tough couple weeks losing to an inspired Objective and Dominate on his rampage, he’s fresh off of a week of rest and this would be a perfect opportunity to start working himself back up the rankings. I think Candy has work to do on his style and Sin is stuck in his ways.
Timeless should handle business here.

PREDICTION: TIMELESS WINS 90/0/10

BLUE BAYOU (1-1) vs OBJECTIVE (1-2)
"Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!" - Sons of the Desert, 1933

Well this should be an interesting matchup if nothing else, Blue received a lot of scrutiny for his verse last week (mostly on Universe’s behalf) it was admittedly a very rushed, and halfhearted verse, but Blue has showed us time and time again that he is able to write great topical verses when he has the time and will to do so (see Week One) Objecyive absolutely brought it in his first week of the league as well but has ever since then he’s been on a massive slide dropping two in a row with uninspired writing. I think Blue has more to prove here, he could turn this league on its head if he has the ambition. He’ll find it this week and make easy work of Objective
PREDICTION: BLUE WINS 80/20

ADONIS (2-1) vs ADVERSE (1-0)
"Meet me in Montauk." Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Obviously I’m fucking winning this...

Lol jk

Love Adonis, he has such a unique style and really does try to approach the topic from an angle that’s fresh. I already know the direction I’m going with my verse and I wish him nothing but good luck.

OUTRO:
Well folks, that’s all we’ve got this week, really excited about what’s to come and what’s already here. Thanks for all the hard work!

Candy · 04-15-2022, 08:01 AM

dope mag

Dominate · 04-15-2022, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adverse

LMAO @ these.

Thanks for another fire mag. How’s your weight loss this week?

Thanks @Universe for the praise also.

Master Rock · 04-15-2022, 11:45 AM

I laughed for like two straight minutes at this.. it's so true!

Dank · 04-15-2022, 01:44 PM

There’s really no ploy my end, everyone here now has been here years and is familiar with who trolls. There’s no new blood left to waste your time on that anymore.

I’m just here to remain focused and write my ass off.

Adverse · 04-15-2022, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dank

There’s really no ploy my end, everyone here now has been here years and is familiar with who trolls. There’s no new blood left to waste your time on that anymore.

I’m just here to remain focused and write my ass off.

It’s all just poking fun man, you’re good peoples

Adverse · 04-15-2022, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dominate

LMAO @ these.

Thanks for another fire mag. How’s your weight loss this week?

Thanks @Universe for the praise also.

Weight loss is stagnant man, I need to get some healthier food options for the house, still hitting the gym though

Universe · 04-15-2022, 05:29 PM

Great job as always @Adverse. The amount of work you're putting into these mags considering you're also writing your verses is appreciated by everyone here... signed in or otherwise.

In terms of your weight loss... stop drinking pop. Drink nothing but water. You won't even have to work out a lot.

And ditto @Dominate

Eviction · 04-17-2022, 03:16 AM

there is so many angles I can take with the topic this week, going to try to get it done monday going to easter dinner tommorow, maybe when I get back going to have an easter egg hunt with the dogs lol.

04-15-2022, 06:16 AM	#1
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,752 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446146	WEEK FOUR MAG: SONIC THE MAFUCKIN HEDGEHOG INTRODUCTION: What’s up fellas? Kudos to everyone for another successful week of competitive manpoetry. You are all deserving of a virtual round of applause, without your efforts this league would be in no better shape than the previous ones I’ve had the misfortune of running. It’s a great time to be alive though folks, we’ve got another stacked mag on deck, all the usual amenities along with an interview or two with a couple of legends. And last but not least Sonic The MAFUCKIN Hedgehog 2 is out in theaters so go see that shit. (My lawyer told me to add the disclaimer that Sonic the MAFUCKIN Hedgehog is is in no way shape or form a sponsor for/affiliate of my fuckery, which is kind of a disappointment.) REVIEWS Had some great battles this week, and guess what? Not a single no show. Everybody was ready and everybody showed out, can’t ask for much more than that. DOMINATE VS BROKENHAL0 Let’s start with the pretty obvious battle of the week in my eyes, this was a cool clash of styles and honestly came down more to subjectivity than anything (which is what most topical battles come down to in all honesty) the topic here was admittedly a little more complex than usual and left a lot open for interpretation, it was great to see the battlers take it two completely opposite directions as well. Hal0 geared towards telling a story of a drifting homeless person jumping from bus stop to bus stop and detailing his exploits. His piece was completely overstuffed with detail and imagery (sometimes to a fault, detailing a coat hanger abortion and a whole sharting/farting escapade.) all in all though it was a pretty compelling verse. Dominate continued his streak this week, writing about the archangel, Michael and how much he hates his job as the decision maker on who goes to Hell and Heaven. Was really a clever piece through and through, had comedy mixed in with other serious elements and let’s not forget the flow which really carried the piece all the way through. Though Hal0 managed to grab two of the votes, Dom just overwhelmed him here. He remains undefeated this season. WINNER: DOM SINACOG VS ADONIS This one doesn’t really need to be reviewed m. Sinacog was Sinacog and Adonis literally pulled something out of his ass at the last second, but he had some good poetic language and a few bright spots in his short piece but all in all I think a door handle could have wrote a piece that would have been victorious here. WINNER: ADONIS BLUE BAYOU VS EVICTION I wouldn’t call this one an upset by any means, Eviction has seemed to coast through these first couple weeks worth relative ease. He shined here as well even though Blue didn’t give him much of a fight. Coming off a long weekend it was a miracle Blue showed at all, he took a meta route with his verse and it seemed..rushed which is understandable. I don’t mind this type of verse personally but without a clever twist on it I don’t think he’ll garner many votes with this sort of approach (see Universe’s vote for more detail) think it’s more frustrating to voters because Blue has showed what a force he can be topically when it has his focus, but other than a few funny one liners he didn’t give us much here. WINNER: EVICTION MASTER ROCK VS OBJECTIVE This was a great matchup on paper. These two have showed similar promise and have been undone by similar problems. It seems that rushing and not polishing their final product has bit them more times than they can count. This was only the cause for Objective here, though he had some good ideas he didn’t give as much thought as he needed to the piece. Master Rock on the other hand switched up his style a little bit, you could feel the meaning behind what he was writing, had a lot more small detailing that some of his quicker pieces lack which ultimate got him the win. But don’t expect that to be the last you see from these two. WINNER: MASTER ROCK THROWBACK BATTLE OF THE WEEK: This one comes to you from the grand finale of Black August II which involved yours truly and Lars. Ultimately Lars won 2-0 (but don’t you dare tell anyone or they’ll remove my accolade that I earned fair and square through miscommunication) ADVERSE: I bob and ebb in the ink of these stories that I bled to reality Being drowned by every word and stanza I’ve let fester out of me My face squeezes out of the black ocean, gaze turned to a red sky Peering past the decaying clouds, straight into God’s dead eyes I awoke in a sweat and a panic, peel my face from the desk in my annex What does the imagery all mean?! I copy it to paper from my head ‘fore it vanished I stare at the threads I’ve connected, find a place for the painting Trying to piece together a whole though it’s straight complicating Through the shadowy corridors I pace, until my legs are defeated When that don’t work I get down and pray, I try and beg for a meanin’ I’ve shunned my wife and my kid, they probably can’t tell I’m sorry I spend my waking moments glued to the screen, in a lime-tinted melancholy Won a thousand topical titles! But then why can’t I let it be? I’m the best there will ever be! Spent the last decade cementin my legacy The king of the textcees, no one’s more deservin’ of that! If you could hang all my internet plaques in this chat room, the servers would crash You really think this all ain’t worth it? That they’d try and ditch my story? Not likely my verses will forever be in the Scriptures - at least Richard Corey’s But still I as a chief wordsmith, am unable to decipher these dreams Full of this mindlessness, death, stress, lightning and screams Day after day I waste away, you see the shape that I’m in? I tap tap the keys with calloused fingers, I wear my age on my skin Suffocate in these man poems, until I’m purple in the face The words whirlwind “what’s my purpose? Is this worthless? Is this FAKE!?” I’ve poured my heart and soul into this, now’s not the time to lose faith I’ve missed birthdays, I’ve missed funerals just to get bars in by the due date Another night another nightmare, hastily I escape from sleep I quickly sketch the vision I’d seen, post it up on the wall n then place the strings It all finally makes sense, this scene that has just came to me I’m staring at the painting tentatively- a grandfather clock whose pendulum’s digging a grave for me I blink and it’s gone! I’m bedridden at 83 This started out as a hobby just killin time, till time turned her blade on me Lars: ”Time of Death” Few things are certain in life, as a matter of interest, you work ‘til you die and are taxed for the privilege. Our family business leaned on this premise too — as black and as grim as our cheap polyester suits. My job as Head of Funeral Direction required a want to embrace positive change so business turned over, just not in their graves. The modernisation of burials is often revised to ensure our pockets as lined as the coffins supplied. This clock had survived my Grandfather, and his before him, so the concept of time waiting for no one rang with importance. Its hands were enormous, with a face set in tenebrous black, expression as blank as pallbearing professionals have. The ready example epitomised all gravediggers should be I hadn’t just tinkered beneath it, so much as built a MACHINE! By increasing the speed of its gear chain to automate the procedure its spade could dig deeper than any man, without taking a breather. The cost of labour was cheaper and graves appeared in abundance with its centralised bevelled eye overseeing production. But without the people to put inside the plot thickens as well every ditch that it delved meant a bigger hole I’d dig for myself. The funny thing having dealt with death is the changes it inhibits and some say that it elicits strange behaviours in the living. I aimed to save the business from ever-dwindling debts but never came to make a killing in the literal sense. Now several victims are buried after being choked to their deaths only instead of the dearly departed, it’s me in over my head. With no body left to turn to, no place to vanish and hide in the back of my mind I know it’s all just a matter of time. So I glance up at my invention as it’s pendulum falls better of course to be buried alive by it than the stress of it all. I set it to automatic and watch as its cold, black hand twitches my last gasps ticking away slowly before the taxman visits! UNIVERSE INTERVIEW 1. For those who aren’t really aware, you’re the one who spoke this whole “Project X” into existence. What do you think will be the reaction to it and what do you hope to achieve with it? First off, I love that phrase "spoke into existence"... I mean, I guess I love it ironically because it always seemed like such an oxymoron to me. Like something's not real until you say it, yet our thoughts before we speak are actually the realest we could ever hope to be... And, by the time it goes through our mouths and into people's ears it has to pass about 3 filters and the original message is usually lost by then... So moral of the story is... yeah, nothing real exists. Anyway... what was the question? Oh yeah, Project X. I think the reaction to it will be a lot of "cool concept"s and "I want to do that", but ultimately end up with no one doing anything except making excuses in the discussion thread. What's up Master Rock... I understand it's a daunting task to create such a large narrative and weave all the threads together, you got to be kind of a masochist to want to do this sort of thing for really a very minimal payoff. But hey, that's me. To quote Nick Diaz, "In order to love this shit, you have to hate it. You got to love it until you want it so bad that you push yourself to those limits where you just simply hate it. And if you ain't there to where you hate it... then good luck trying to love this shit." Poetry. Honestly though... I hope it catches on and people just take the ball and run with it every week. That's the goal. Because not everybody wants to sign in and compete... but everyone wants to write. That's why we're here. That's why I wanted to create something like this. For the ACTIVATE_SELF's of the world who grab a random topic pic and make an Open Mic about it. I wanted to give people an arena free of the constraints and rules of a league, yet still be part of it. And I wanted it to be so difficult that the toll you have to pay for this freedom is the challenge itself. I'm going to lay the foundation for what's expected this week with my Project X piece, (actually by the time people read this it will already be up) so hopefully everybody will see the effort I put into it and follow suit. I also hope we can get some cool collabs going with it. Other than Lars & MMLP we don't really see much of those. Hopefully this is an avenue toward that. 2. You haven’t competed yet but I know you’ve been watching the league, who’s somebody who has surprised you this season? And who’s somebody that might not be living up to expectations? Dominate surprised me with how good he was. I mean, I saw what he did in the tag tournament and I knew he was a good battler, but topicals are a different beast and he has proven to be a beast of many names. I really like his dedication. The only one not living up to expectations would actually be Lars. He's been behaving himself and it's nice to see for once. 3. What could use some improvement as far as the league goes? From the outside looking? In? I think you should reintroduce the weekly pic challenges with the 16 line limits. Those were fun little side activites every week. Also voting can always improve... Not just the amount of votes, but the quality of the breakdowns. People love seeing their work get dissected... for better or worse. Makes the process worth it. 4. If the playoffs started today who would be your favorite to become champion? Lars. Although I'm really looking forward to the inevitable Lars vs. Dominate champ match. 5. I know you’ve been doing a lot of side projects and what not. Are you joining the this season? And if so when is the right time? Joining the... ? What? League? I'm calling you out on everything here, Addy lol. But honestly unless someone starts a topical league with like 100 line maximums or more I probably won't. My toughest competition every week (other than understanding Candy) is the line limit and I'm finding it more and more difficult to keep a leash on myself. I hate cutting lines out, sometimes entire chunks of my peice and then losing... It's like, "Dude, you didn't see the complete portrait!". I feel like I'm handicapping myself to fit into a box that I don't belong in in the first place... and then getting penalized for it. I mean, force a marathon runner to sprint over and over again and eventually he's just gonna stop racing. Makes sense, right? So yeah, short story long...* probably not. But what do Tom Brady and the Undertaker's retirement have in common? Never say never. DOMINATE INTERVIEW Hey Dom, thanks for sitting (I assume you’re sitting?) down with me this week and answering some questions. I appreciate what an asset you’ve been to this league man. No problem, happy to do it. I am sitting, in an office chair I took from my place of employment when corona was first kicking off and we were getting sent home to work. It's very comfortable. There was another equally comfortable chair waiting for me at my desk when I finally returned to the office, so I guess I'm keeping this one. 1. It’s no secret you’ve been one of the standouts of this season thus far. You just champed the tag team tourney with Aero a couple months ago. My question is, what is in your skill set that makes you a talented writer in both forms of text? Is there any kind of overlap between topicals and text battling? I would really only consider myself an upper mid tier topicalist at best, but thank you. There definitely is an overlap in skill sets and I wouldn't be nearly as good a writer without all these years of text battles under my belt. Probably the biggest transferable skill would be rhyming things in a way where your wording doesn't come off sounding awkward, - finding multis that fit naturally with what you're saying. There's a knack to wording your lines so that they're the right length with sounds stressed in the right places to keep a rhythm humming along too, even besides the rhyming. As an Aussie I also had to learn the hard way a long time ago that Americans don't pronounce certain things the same way I do. Sometimes I still slip there - last week I rhymed 'suitable spin' with 'beautiful thing' and Universe pulled me up on it. It sounds fine to me but there you go. In terms of content I think there's some overlap but it's less tangible. Coming up with a take on a topic feels a little bit like coming up with a punch/wordplay combo - finding a creative and interesting idea to write about with some constraints added. 2. When you look at the other battlers on the roster, is there anyone who sticks out to you? Anyone who looks they’re going to be a threat going forward? Lars and Universe are the two I would consider to be elite and the ones I'm looking up to the most trying to improve my own writing here. Well, Lars isn't signed in currently and Universe is just voting and doing the project X thing, so I guess they're not really on the roster (here's my chance to champ!)... but still, they're around. Blue is the GOAT of text battling IMO so I'm hoping he'll stay signed in and find the time and effort to write to the level he's capable of going forward - really interested to see what he can do in this arena. I've only read one verse from you, this week, but you're clearly a talented writer too and more than capable of champing if you stay signed in. 3. You talked a lot about legacy and what not with dead man last week. I want to know in your equally as impressive tenure in text, what accomplishment are you most proud of? I actually don't really have a very long list of accomplishments in text battling - not all that many leagues/tourneys champed. I'm easily in my own top 3 favourite all time battlers on skill alone, - if I take my best work and hold it up to anyone else's I think I could be the best... but I don't have the body of work that some others have (that's why Blue is the GOAT even though line for line I think I'm a teensy bit better than him). I just pop up for a few months every few years. My favourite verses I've written are probably the one against Barcotic on RB a few years ago and the one against Blue/Zuch I wrote for the tag tourney finals recently. 4. Let’s talk Sinacog, you’ve been one of his more vocal supporters this season. What do you think he brings to the league? And do you think he’s trolling or just really fucked? Until I read your article a few weeks ago my best guess was that he was a Lars troll. I had no idea how long he'd been around or that he used to be kind of good. I hope he's trolling. "The rise of Sinacog" would be an amazing topic to hand someone to muse about the alternatives though. I'd love to read a creative and fleshed out theory about him in verse form. I find him hilarious. His verses are short enough to not be a chore - just a quick bit of levity every week... and being against him lets his opponent try out an approach or style they might think is too risky against someone else. 5. Where do you draw inspiration from when writing? Whether it be music, life, or just plain out imagination? I get inspired to write by seeing others do it well. The first time I decided to have a go at topicals was in one of the early seasons of the AOWL when there was an insane amount of activity and talent going around. I enjoyed that brief little jaunt into this arena, figured I'd give it another go now after the tag tourney finished and this was starting up. In terms of what inspires what I write about, I don't know. I need to find more inspiration there. Honestly I feel like the range of what I can write about well is kinda narrow. I can usually fall back on a lighthearted/humorous approach because that comes more naturally to me moving over from battling, but I'd like to branch out from that and figure out how to write a good old manpoem and write emotions and themes better. I think I'm much more analytical/technical than I am creative. I know what good writing IS but actually coming up with something to say is harder. 6. Are you enjoying this league so far? Anything I can improve upon? Very much so. You're doing a fantastic job. Great mags, great memes, you're balancing getting enough votes in with keeping the momentum going and setting up the new weeks really well. Trying out new and creative ideas like the project X thing. Dope. Appreciate the hell out of people like you who keep this hobby alive. Perhaps one thing I'd suggest is to vary the types of topics a little more - maybe some pictures that are actual photographs pulled from somewhere, or more a more abstract kind of art - something a little more open ended that challenges you creatively - like how about just a picture of a basic geometric shape? "Your topic is: triangle". Or just a colour. Or even no pictures, - use a written prompt. Song names from your favourite album. Lines from a movie. Sinacog quotes. Barcotic wordplays. Etc. Although, this is just my personal preference - all the topics in battles I've seen for years have been similar to what you're doing and maybe there's a reason for that. I'll work with whatever you give me and just to reiterate - you're doing a helluva job. Thanks for the interview, this was fun. PREVIEWS: Before we get into previews this week I just wanted to let everyone know next week will be our first contenders matches (with our first champ match happening in Week Six) though being an in-season champion pales in comparison to winning the entire league, it’s still customary and quite an honor as well. You’re all writing your hearts out and it shows. Thanks for everyone’s effort thus far. MASTER ROCK (2-1) vs DOMINATE (3-0) “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." - Casablanca, 1942 This is potentially the battle of the week here. Both have differing styles, Rock relies on a lot of raw imagery and verbose language, while Dom is really more of a technical writer and a really good storyteller. Rock was impressive last week in a win against Objective, tapping into a more polished and more poetic version of himself. He could give the undefeated Dom problems if he can carry over his momentum this week. To be honest Master Rock isn’t going to do anything to “lose” this battle but I think Dom continues his winning streak and just out writes Rock. We will see though. PREDICTION: DOMINATE WINS 65/35 BROKENHAL0 (2-1) vs EVICTION (2-0) "Which would be worse, to live a monster or die as a good man?" Shutter Island, 2010 As far as battles go this one is a helluva sleeper. Though Eviction had an easy walk to 2-0 getting Sinacog in his first week and an uninspired Blue in his second, he has been one of the more consistent writers in the noooo league and has earned his record. Hal0 has been just as good if not better taking a couple of tough wins and even managing to scrape a few votes off Dominate in their battle last week. It all comes down to who is going to tell the more coherent story and who is going to want it more. This is a hard one to even decide because both writers are good at different things much like Rock vs Dom. But only one could win and I guess I’ll lean towards Hal0 revenging his loss last week. PREDICTION: BROKENHAL0 WINS 51/49 TIMELESS (0-2) vs SINACOG (0-2) vs CANDY (0-3) "Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make." - Dracula, 1931 Our first triple threat of the season promises one thing; that one of these writers is no longer going to be winless after this week. Who will it be you ask? Well even though this topic plays more to Candy’s and Sinacog’s strengths, I truly believe this is Timeless’s battle to lose. Timeless has been through a tough couple weeks losing to an inspired Objective and Dominate on his rampage, he’s fresh off of a week of rest and this would be a perfect opportunity to start working himself back up the rankings. I think Candy has work to do on his style and Sin is stuck in his ways. Timeless should handle business here. PREDICTION: TIMELESS WINS 90/0/10 BLUE BAYOU (1-1) vs OBJECTIVE (1-2) "Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!" - Sons of the Desert, 1933 Well this should be an interesting matchup if nothing else, Blue received a lot of scrutiny for his verse last week (mostly on Universe’s behalf) it was admittedly a very rushed, and halfhearted verse, but Blue has showed us time and time again that he is able to write great topical verses when he has the time and will to do so (see Week One) Objecyive absolutely brought it in his first week of the league as well but has ever since then he’s been on a massive slide dropping two in a row with uninspired writing. I think Blue has more to prove here, he could turn this league on its head if he has the ambition. He’ll find it this week and make easy work of Objective PREDICTION: BLUE WINS 80/20 ADONIS (2-1) vs ADVERSE (1-0) "Meet me in Montauk." Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) Obviously I’m fucking winning this... Lol jk Love Adonis, he has such a unique style and really does try to approach the topic from an angle that’s fresh. I already know the direction I’m going with my verse and I wish him nothing but good luck. OUTRO: Well folks, that’s all we’ve got this week, really excited about what’s to come and what’s already here. Thanks for all the hard work!

04-15-2022, 11:45 AM	#4
Master Rock Steadily Lurking Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Beyond your reach Posts: 1,391 Battle Record: 7-7 Champed - Netcees Writers League Rep Power: 5599641	I laughed for like two straight minutes at this.. it's so true! __________________ https://www.instagram.com/master_rock1/ https://www.youtube.com/graphicalmindz Last edited by Master Rock; 04-15-2022 at 11:47 AM.

04-15-2022, 05:29 PM	#8
Universe Everything's Connected Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Niagara Falls, Canada Posts: 1,001 Battle Record: 19-8 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League(2x) - GWL Picture challenge(2x) - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 10178706	Great job as always @Adverse. The amount of work you're putting into these mags considering you're also writing your verses is appreciated by everyone here... signed in or otherwise. In terms of your weight loss... stop drinking pop. Drink nothing but water. You won't even have to work out a lot. And ditto @Dominate __________________ ..Passed the Present and Future..

04-15-2022, 08:01 AM	#2
Candy Sell Her Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 1,075 Battle Record: 1-3 Rep Power: 8518432	dope mag

04-15-2022, 01:44 PM	#5
Dank Member Join Date: Oct 2020 Posts: 91 Battle Record: 1-0 Rep Power: 2167893	There’s really no ploy my end, everyone here now has been here years and is familiar with who trolls. There’s no new blood left to waste your time on that anymore. I’m just here to remain focused and write my ass off.

04-17-2022, 03:16 AM	#9
Eviction Detained Join Date: Oct 2020 Posts: 1,838 Battle Record: 16-11 Rep Power: 0	there is so many angles I can take with the topic this week, going to try to get it done monday going to easter dinner tommorow, maybe when I get back going to have an easter egg hunt with the dogs lol.