being. deadman

Diablo · 01-30-2019, 05:51 PM

the stagger home of a drunkard. passed with no introduction
Battletoads into lunch with the smell of casserole in the oven
cooked yesterdays. lit tomorrow’s. quick to follow
happiness is a model ship. I spotted it within a bottle
drink to wallow in my own filth. Netflix, no chill
got a phone bill where I owe zilch. my posts real
oatmeal molehills for breakfast. i spoon fed you my lies
with a pearl necklace in mind. the thought semen-ted inside
ever the bridesmaid, never the groom. gender confused
textbook buffoon, social justice warrior millennial fool
brexit is cool. recyclings fun. try it for once
eco brick modular furniture. plastic by-products suck
life of a humous-eating fuckin’ vegan. save ur sympathy text
picking at vegetables. is it any wonder I wish I was dead
quick to contest a grammar nazi. google genius in waiting
fair trade coffee shop revolutionary meaningless statements
i need a vacation. i need a vocation. can’t be jobless forever
logically whether I like it or not it’s time I got it together
constantly never acting my age. puerile Peter Pan
feeling angst under my mothers ceiling fan. I’ll never be a man

easy as

@Pharaohs Army

Pharaohs Army · 01-30-2019, 08:51 PM

Technical aspects 10 out of 10.
Subject matter and wording 5 or 6 out of 10.

You definitely nailed the style. Next time make it about booze, ashtrays, amps, and ennui.

Diablo · 01-31-2019, 04:54 AM

lmao I didn’t realise you were critiquing them

you just said you couldn’t do the technical things so I keyed something to show you how

ill do one with more “deadman” content next

veritas · 01-31-2019, 01:12 PM

This is not good.

dead man · 02-09-2019, 10:09 PM

yeah, idk man. i guess? sorta kinda?

its a flattering gesture so thanks

dead man · 09-12-2020, 11:47 PM

in retrospect this wasnt all that bad. but bb does it better

Geno · 09-15-2020, 11:08 PM

I enjoyed this as a lars verse.

dull boy · 09-16-2020, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dead man

in retrospect this wasnt all that bad.

Yes it was

Eŋg · 09-17-2020, 11:27 AM

ngl parts were humorous. it was vaguely deadman-y after 'pearl necklace'.

also significantly better than any imitation i remember pharaoh conjuring so, to that end, job done.

Universe · 09-17-2020, 12:28 PM

Eŋg is garbage.

That is all.

PancakeBrah · 09-17-2020, 01:42 PM

aero wrote it

Eŋg · 09-17-2020, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Universe

Eŋg is garbage.

That is all.

hi

i searched for a stilted wordplay in this post but found none.

you got me.

01-30-2019, 05:51 PM	#1
Diablo Badgerdick Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Showdown City Posts: 2,634 Battle Record: 11-2 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 22685552	being. deadman the stagger home of a drunkard. passed with no introduction Battletoads into lunch with the smell of casserole in the oven cooked yesterdays. lit tomorrow’s. quick to follow happiness is a model ship. I spotted it within a bottle drink to wallow in my own filth. Netflix, no chill got a phone bill where I owe zilch. my posts real oatmeal molehills for breakfast. i spoon fed you my lies with a pearl necklace in mind. the thought semen-ted inside ever the bridesmaid, never the groom. gender confused textbook buffoon, social justice warrior millennial fool brexit is cool. recyclings fun. try it for once eco brick modular furniture. plastic by-products suck life of a humous-eating fuckin’ vegan. save ur sympathy text picking at vegetables. is it any wonder I wish I was dead quick to contest a grammar nazi. google genius in waiting fair trade coffee shop revolutionary meaningless statements i need a vacation. i need a vocation. can’t be jobless forever logically whether I like it or not it’s time I got it together constantly never acting my age. puerile Peter Pan feeling angst under my mothers ceiling fan. I’ll never be a man easy as @Pharaohs Army

02-09-2019, 10:09 PM	#5
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	yeah, idk man. i guess? sorta kinda? its a flattering gesture so thanks __________________ Zack Wicks for president

09-12-2020, 11:47 PM	#6
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	in retrospect this wasnt all that bad. but bb does it better __________________ Zack Wicks for president

09-15-2020, 11:08 PM	#7
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	I enjoyed this as a lars verse. __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

09-17-2020, 12:28 PM	#10
Universe Everything's Connected Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Niagara Falls, Canada Posts: 1,001 Battle Record: 19-8 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League(2x) - GWL Picture challenge(2x) - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 10178706	Eŋg is garbage. That is all. __________________ ..Passed the Present and Future..

01-30-2019, 08:51 PM	#2
Pharaohs Army Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 2,956 Battle Record: 6 - 14 Rep Power: 0	Technical aspects 10 out of 10. Subject matter and wording 5 or 6 out of 10. You definitely nailed the style. Next time make it about booze, ashtrays, amps, and ennui.

01-31-2019, 04:54 AM	#3
Diablo Badgerdick Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Showdown City Posts: 2,634 Battle Record: 11-2 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 22685552	lmao I didn’t realise you were critiquing them you just said you couldn’t do the technical things so I keyed something to show you how ill do one with more “deadman” content next

09-17-2020, 11:27 AM	#9
Eŋg rhyme capsule. Join Date: Sep 2018 Posts: 2,150 Rep Power: 0	ngl parts were humorous. it was vaguely deadman-y after 'pearl necklace'. also significantly better than any imitation i remember pharaoh conjuring so, to that end, job done.

09-17-2020, 01:42 PM	#11
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	aero wrote it __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder