KOVID-19

emurgencee · 04-17-2020, 04:46 PM

My utopia’s life, love and imagination,
a massive nation, filled with all of the happening places...
and the happiest faces.
We’ve found our trajectory
Where my intellect makes it so you can’t get next me
Especially the cynics
I’m a positive thought, a product of each elite teaching that’s been lodged in my corpse
the probable cause is like tyranny,
divide and conquer
cries and hunger
The military’s amongst us, we got to fight these monsters
The brigade’s on the prowl, masked as ordinance
a bunch of brash subordinates,
enforcing prohibition cause the masters ordered it
I forfeit the games and remain with the solid,
abolish faulty practice on behalf of my knowledge
I’m built for the war!
When it rains, it pours.
All the pain absorbed, they just can’t contain the poor
Everybody’s amok, struck with disaster
The last, will be first. Now we bust out in laughter.
Captured all you heathens who claim they’re real
Now who can survive on the same playing field?

Exis · 04-23-2020, 12:23 AM

Your style is very familiar...I believe we have crossed paths before.

emurgencee · 04-27-2020, 10:19 AM

You think?

Johnny 6 feet · 05-04-2020, 05:09 PM

"I’m a positive thought, a product of each elite teaching that’s been lodged in my corpse"

I felt that^ this was a cool bragging yet topical piece was got it's point across without overstaying it's welcome. Rhyme scheme was tight and the rhythm flowed like water.

"The military’s amongst us, we got to fight these monsters
The brigade’s on the prowl, masked as ordinance
a bunch of brash subordinates,
enforcing prohibition cause the masters ordered it"

Great imagery here; you conveyed how pissed off you were at the fucked state the world's in right now which is easy to relate to (20,000 troops on standby in my country's capital). I liked the question posed at the end; i guess we'll find out won't we?

Great stuff. Keep on posting. Please rtf.

-6

Exis · 05-04-2020, 08:01 PM

I’m a positive thought, a product of each elite teaching that’s been lodged in my corpse
the probable cause is like tyranny,
divide and conquer
cries and hunger
The military’s amongst us, we got to fight these monsters

^^I like...

I thought your opener was cool, what I quoted was solid & the closer was straight...You have some really nice imagery fam, flow was good also... Enjoyed the read.

Stay upwards bro.

04-17-2020, 04:46 PM	#1
emurgencee Member Join Date: Apr 2020 Posts: 91 Rep Power: 0	KOVID-19 My utopia’s life, love and imagination, a massive nation, filled with all of the happening places... and the happiest faces. We’ve found our trajectory Where my intellect makes it so you can’t get next me Especially the cynics I’m a positive thought, a product of each elite teaching that’s been lodged in my corpse the probable cause is like tyranny, divide and conquer cries and hunger The military’s amongst us, we got to fight these monsters The brigade’s on the prowl, masked as ordinance a bunch of brash subordinates, enforcing prohibition cause the masters ordered it I forfeit the games and remain with the solid, abolish faulty practice on behalf of my knowledge I’m built for the war! When it rains, it pours. All the pain absorbed, they just can’t contain the poor Everybody’s amok, struck with disaster The last, will be first. Now we bust out in laughter. Captured all you heathens who claim they’re real Now who can survive on the same playing field?

04-23-2020, 12:23 AM	#2
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	Your style is very familiar...I believe we have crossed paths before.

04-27-2020, 10:19 AM	#3
emurgencee Member Join Date: Apr 2020 Posts: 91 Rep Power: 0	You think?

05-04-2020, 05:09 PM	#4
Johnny 6 feet Storyteller Join Date: May 2020 Posts: 446 Battle Record: 8-4 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League Rep Power: 5558447	"I’m a positive thought, a product of each elite teaching that’s been lodged in my corpse" I felt that^ this was a cool bragging yet topical piece was got it's point across without overstaying it's welcome. Rhyme scheme was tight and the rhythm flowed like water. "The military’s amongst us, we got to fight these monsters The brigade’s on the prowl, masked as ordinance a bunch of brash subordinates, enforcing prohibition cause the masters ordered it" Great imagery here; you conveyed how pissed off you were at the fucked state the world's in right now which is easy to relate to (20,000 troops on standby in my country's capital). I liked the question posed at the end; i guess we'll find out won't we? Great stuff. Keep on posting. Please rtf. -6

05-04-2020, 08:01 PM	#5
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	I’m a positive thought, a product of each elite teaching that’s been lodged in my corpse the probable cause is like tyranny, divide and conquer cries and hunger The military’s amongst us, we got to fight these monsters ^^I like... I thought your opener was cool, what I quoted was solid & the closer was straight...You have some really nice imagery fam, flow was good also... Enjoyed the read. Stay upwards bro.