Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Forum > Open Mic Section
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-24-2017, 06:12 PM   #1
ACTIVATE SELF
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 783
Battle Record: 2-1


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 19584278
ACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant future
Default Blood&Bondage: Parts 1&2

PART I: Before The Dawn

I was once ...

a young fool from the province of Sun Tzu.
Born in a brothel, I was raised by prostitutes.
Forced into the trade at the tender age of 12.
I was raped everyday by sleaziest of males.

Like a prisoner in jail I had to sleep inside a cell
where I was tortured like a demon in the deepest parts of Hell.
In the darkness I would dwell -- as the years started passing
and my health began to fail -- from all the sex I was having
with those devils 'til a shell started forming 'round my seams
and the hatred overwhelmed every fiber of my being.

Until a sorceress's spell finally freed me from the fiends
that were feasting on my flesh. Yes, she wore a satin veil
and the fabric of her dress was imported from Lhasa
in the kingdom of Tibet. As esteemed as she seemed
I could still see that Death, sought refuge in her eyes
and his ch'i never left. What a secret she suppressed.
I thought it to myself: "what if she was in a debt ...
to a demon or a djinn and she came here to collect?"


That's when I heard her breath ...
as she whispered to the mistress
it was me she would select.

Little beads made of sweat ...
started streaming down my cheeks
as the speed of her steps did increase
to the beat that repeated in my chest.

As this dream manifested right before my very eyes
like a nightmare come to life, but I had nowhere to hide
when she stared me in the face, then politely did inquire
if tonight would be the night that I would finally like to die.
'Cause the violence that resided inside my curseth tomb
Would be silenced if invited inside my perversed room.
Thus, I took her at her word and accepted what she offered
Then she bit me on the neck, blood drizzled same as water
As it trickled down my breasts like a sacrificial alter.

Felt the pain and the pleasure. Was it sex or was it slaughter?
Was I dead or now her daughter? But instinctively I knew ...
the answers to those questions as my aptitude improved ...
with every precious second I spent staring at the Moon ...
I guess I got the message when she told me to "consume".

That's when I left the room ...

All I heard were screams of horror.
People running towards the doors
before I backed them into corners.
Blood splattered on the walls.
battered corpses on the floor boards.
Torture rattled down the halls
like a tune that was morbid.

Then all I heard was nothing ...

Not a sound or a chorus!
'Cause everyone was dead
except the child that was born
inside that very brothel
who was treated like an orphan
before she courted Death
or fell asleep every morning
... with poison on her breath!

安息以前的我




PART II: Play Things

I awoke...

The Moon was calling my "name"
and I could still taste the blood
as it danced on the tips of my fangs!
What a strange dream. At least ...
that's what it seemed like.
How do I explain?

Well...

I felt passion in their pain
when I drained the plasma from their veins.
I gained power in exchange as I devoured their remains.
And when I showered and I bathed in their sour taste of rage
I felt freedom from the cage ... it was wild and unrestrained.
A vicious child without a name, but it was "Death" whom I became!

My lovely face remained the same
except my eyes had changed to gray.
Their honey shade did fade away ...
with pleasant thoughts of sunny days.
That I kept locked inside a grave.
Buried deep to keep them safe.
But Darkness crept to find its prey
and sink its teeth inside their veins.
To suck them dry of pride and grace.
And Love did try survive its wake.
But Darkness struck with violent shakes
'til Love did die and bind my fate

...to Death forever.
Its cold embrace was midnight weather.

I longed to taste the warmth of blood between my fangs!
I felt not love nor silly hate ... just simply passion when I ate!
But my savagery was raised right before the daylight saved
lucky bastards from a date. Whom I would capture with my bait.

But those that managed to escape ...

I kept their scents beneath my nose
and sent a whisper in the wind.
A gentle kiss upon the skin.
The sweetest gift that I could give
until I rose from sleep again
to hunt the souls of sheepish men
who wanted only to pretend
that I'd show mercy in the end!

"I have no sympathy, my friend.
Stop that screaming, you're too tense.
I thought you knew this game was fixed?
Just shake it loose and raise your chin.
I tell you what ... I'll make it quick ...
the night is young so why resist?
Just close your eyes and bite your lip
and Death will come before you flinch."


To be continued...



--------------------------------------------------------
PI: A topical battle verse written to the picture.
PII: A continuation verse.

--------------------------------------------------------

Last edited by ACTIVATE SELF; 12-28-2017 at 11:58 PM.
ACTIVATE SELF is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-25-2017, 12:00 PM   #2
ACTIVATE SELF
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 783
Battle Record: 2-1


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 19584278
ACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant future
Default

Bump.
ACTIVATE SELF is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-2017, 12:26 AM   #3
big baby
obsessed
 
big baby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,709
Battle Record: Faggot-1

Accomplishments
- can recite entirety of shrek 2

Champed
- tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek

Rep Power: 8599682
big baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant future
Send a message via AIM to big baby
Default

stories are cool with pictures but the substance is a bit stagnant, pretty good, but i feel your rhymes are extremely separated by syllable and by stanza in which it feels like i have to hurry to either say it, for it to sound decent, or i feel every verse of yours has a similar type of flow to it which bothers me- a tad.
__________________
precision defender
Quote:
Originally Posted by greed View Post
If mentioned in a discussion its who'd still use wordy lines and act all dope
Then again hes had this schtick so long he like bb da bb da bb thats all folks
big baby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-2017, 12:53 AM   #4
ACTIVATE SELF
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 783
Battle Record: 2-1


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 19584278
ACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant futureACTIVATE SELF has a brilliant future
Default

Duely noted. I've taken your words into consideration for future writings.

Uhmmm as for substance maybe my 'Parables of Man' or 'Her Gnostic Gospel' pieces will be more appealing to you. Maybe. Or maybe not. Lol.

Thanks for the read and the feed, BB. It's certainly appreciated.
ACTIVATE SELF is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:28 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+