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#1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
Battle Record: 23-10
Champed - Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 5
Rep Power: 23856379 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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The axial skeleton of the earth is turning
Circular spiraling of the universal forces. The Dao in formless orbit Cosmic dance, swirling yin yang into order; Hundreds of big bang sparks blasting into life the emergence of matter. The positive and negative charges of atoms. Electromagnetic consciousness patterns That began the path to omniscient madness. Dark curtains veiling my mental orifices, hence My existential anxiety over my senseless origin. A trembling warrior raising his executioner sword again. Battle scars engraved around my organism, a dysphoric prison. As the nightmare of apocalypse distorts my vision, A world without a single flower in it depicted. Nothing to do, but curl into a ball and then listen To the sounds that ripple rhythmically in silence. I’m but a blip that questions if infinity the highest Apex of the maximal analogy. A mathematical fallacy Anyone can see is a fragmentary fraction from our galaxy. I’m society’s incompatible anarchy That subsists in the back streets of the city Where Harley Quinn takes acid to look pretty. It’s all a big contorted circus! Snake charmer making love to his subservient serpent Gyrating their forms into celestial arrangement From Nautilus seashells to twinkling star placement. So shut up and shuffle your cards and play them. For only experience can quell an artist’s craving. That’s why my wife is in a hospital bed in a foreign country, while the head nurse folds her Japanese crane origami In her last moments, we hold hands and stare into the sunset Its rays of light making our eyes conscious Making us utterly aware of this moment’s contents. Death as the biochemical curse That slowly makes the flow in our vessels inert. Heartbreak is the lone rose pedal on the floor, The feeling of tiptoeing, yet still stepping onto thorns And contracting an infection that enters the core. |
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#2 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 614
Battle Record: 15-16
Champed - Write Week 9
Rep Power: 9768091 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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First half was put together brilliantly, seemingly only going in one direction, then you completely turned it on its head. I liked the spin (pun on your topic). It became very humanised as it went on, so I felt it more.
Ive really come around to your style over the past year or so, its dope! Enjoyable read! "In her last moments, we hold hands and stare into the sunset Its rays of light making our eyes conscious Making us utterly aware of this moment’s contents. Death as the biochemical curse That slowly makes the flow in our vessels inert. Heartbreak is the lone rose pedal on the floor, The feeling of tiptoeing, yet still stepping onto thorns" - classic complex not interested in the AWOL? |
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