Off the Wall AOWL

Mr. J · 04-03-2016, 03:04 AM

Upon ascension I swore I would never look back
another chapter closed, locking the leather book clasp..
holding my dearest of thoughts close to my heart...
a heart upon my sleeve for never lowering my guard
pushing through the pain I was able to survive..
the medic said an inch closer I wasn't capable for life..
the burden of inability left me thankful & blessed too..
He smiled & reminded me that it was only a flesh wound
missing vitals & the spinal, I could hold my head high
upon reflection you couldnt see through the tears in these red eyes

After several hours I was awoken by the turbulence
our destination was closing in, you could sense the nervousness
we were moments away from touching down to earth
the shimmering sun reminded me how international hours work
for months all I could do was remind myself of hope...
pushing through each morning... learning how it helped me grow
in a matter of moments...I feel my strength will deceive me
because once this plane touches down all that matters is how she sees me
Hope...please make this easy...

Adverse · 04-04-2016, 12:17 AM

I like the way you write my dude, the way you string your sentences together is cool. Even if this was a freeverse and you had no real intention of bringing the concept further than this verse, i'd like to read a sequel, and see how the story progresses and ends. It was a nice piece though

Mr. J · 04-05-2016, 03:55 AM

No sequel for this...just a little fun write for a random piece in AOWL

trying to make it a habit of staying in constant motion so I can keep the flow going

Artifice · 04-06-2016, 10:40 AM

This was pretty dope. A fun read, smooth from beginning to end, nothing jaw dropping but it definitely hits on all the right notes. Another cool piece from you. Nice.

04-03-2016, 03:04 AM	#1
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Off the Wall AOWL Upon ascension I swore I would never look back another chapter closed, locking the leather book clasp.. holding my dearest of thoughts close to my heart... a heart upon my sleeve for never lowering my guard pushing through the pain I was able to survive.. the medic said an inch closer I wasn't capable for life.. the burden of inability left me thankful & blessed too.. He smiled & reminded me that it was only a flesh wound missing vitals & the spinal, I could hold my head high upon reflection you couldnt see through the tears in these red eyes After several hours I was awoken by the turbulence our destination was closing in, you could sense the nervousness we were moments away from touching down to earth the shimmering sun reminded me how international hours work for months all I could do was remind myself of hope... pushing through each morning... learning how it helped me grow in a matter of moments...I feel my strength will deceive me because once this plane touches down all that matters is how she sees me Hope...please make this easy... __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

04-05-2016, 03:55 AM	#3
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	No sequel for this...just a little fun write for a random piece in AOWL trying to make it a habit of staying in constant motion so I can keep the flow going __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

04-04-2016, 12:17 AM	#2
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,752 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446146	I like the way you write my dude, the way you string your sentences together is cool. Even if this was a freeverse and you had no real intention of bringing the concept further than this verse, i'd like to read a sequel, and see how the story progresses and ends. It was a nice piece though

04-06-2016, 10:40 AM	#4
Artifice Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2016 Posts: 269 Battle Record: 17-9 Champed - Art Of Writing League - GWL Picture Challenge Rep Power: 3944949	This was pretty dope. A fun read, smooth from beginning to end, nothing jaw dropping but it definitely hits on all the right notes. Another cool piece from you. Nice.