I shit myself at the cornerstore

uh-oh · 03-21-2016, 07:54 AM

Just a little. Called off work.

Im in line. Half dead and zombified getting my v8 bottled water and lays pickle chips. Had bubbly gut activity all morning. Was feeling it again. Had to fart but didnt trust the amount of heat behind my anus so i was holding it. There are people in front and behind me and im like fucckkkk lets go. Then i had to sneeze. Im a weirdo who dont like sneezing around others because i sneeze like an oxen with tourettes. But my hands are full. I can usually just like squeeze my nose holes shut and power through burning eyes. But nah. So i turn my head to sneeze and i sharted hot acid. It was probably like 3/4 of a shot glass worth of human waste.

I dont think anyone noticed, there was no sound involved past the sneeze. It was like just opening a water balloon you havent tied for a split second.

I put my v8 water and chips on top of the newspapers by the door and fled. Nothing like a wet asscheek under you as you drive back home. Then i made the embarassing phone call to work like yo i cant come in today i had a lesson in humility bruh.

So here i am.

Whens the last time butt juice evacuated your system unwarranted

uh-oh · 03-21-2016, 07:55 AM

Lol shot. Can a mod edit that. I dont want to mislead the good ncgs and get there hopes up just because i have the fat fingers of a neanderthal and the i and o are to close on my mobile device. Thank you.

sral · 03-21-2016, 08:48 AM

lmao what an anticlimatic thread

anime_boners · 03-21-2016, 10:42 AM

obliterated

last time i shit my pants I was black out drunk and didn't know it. found pants in my bathroom with shit in them. immediately disposed of them.

Chill Phil · 03-21-2016, 11:39 AM

drippy pants ass nigga

Dabble MC · 03-21-2016, 07:11 PM

shit happens..har har har.

but I thought only pregnant bitches shit themselves when they sneezed?

not calling you a pregnant bitch. just saying.

SHECK WES · 03-21-2016, 07:42 PM

Damn bro been there it sucks lol

timeless · 03-24-2016, 08:25 AM

Just woke up went to rip a nice morning fart and boom there she is.

Just got these boxers too

No more yuengling and wawa classic chicken parms at 2am

03-21-2016, 07:54 AM	#1
uh-oh DA GOD Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canton Ohio Posts: 12,362 Battle Record: 1-0 Champed - Beat Battle II - Beat Battle V - Beat Bags Rep Power: 84181420	I shit myself at the cornerstore Just a little. Called off work. Im in line. Half dead and zombified getting my v8 bottled water and lays pickle chips. Had bubbly gut activity all morning. Was feeling it again. Had to fart but didnt trust the amount of heat behind my anus so i was holding it. There are people in front and behind me and im like fucckkkk lets go. Then i had to sneeze. Im a weirdo who dont like sneezing around others because i sneeze like an oxen with tourettes. But my hands are full. I can usually just like squeeze my nose holes shut and power through burning eyes. But nah. So i turn my head to sneeze and i sharted hot acid. It was probably like 3/4 of a shot glass worth of human waste. I dont think anyone noticed, there was no sound involved past the sneeze. It was like just opening a water balloon you havent tied for a split second. I put my v8 water and chips on top of the newspapers by the door and fled. Nothing like a wet asscheek under you as you drive back home. Then i made the embarassing phone call to work like yo i cant come in today i had a lesson in humility bruh. So here i am. Whens the last time butt juice evacuated your system unwarranted __________________ EVERYBODY I KNOW GOT WEED OR GOT POWDER BUT I AINT GOT EITHER. GOT ALOT OF DEMONS

03-21-2016, 07:55 AM	#2
uh-oh DA GOD Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canton Ohio Posts: 12,362 Battle Record: 1-0 Champed - Beat Battle II - Beat Battle V - Beat Bags Rep Power: 84181420	Lol shot. Can a mod edit that. I dont want to mislead the good ncgs and get there hopes up just because i have the fat fingers of a neanderthal and the i and o are to close on my mobile device. Thank you. __________________ EVERYBODY I KNOW GOT WEED OR GOT POWDER BUT I AINT GOT EITHER. GOT ALOT OF DEMONS

03-21-2016, 08:48 AM	#3
sral LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: CRUMPETVILLE Posts: 8,605 Battle Record: 28-3 Champed - Gimmick Battle League - The Winter Topical - Topical Martyrs - Lime Green Poetry Association - Lyric Olympics - Art of Writing League - Guerrilla Writing League (2x) - Black August II Rep Power: 85899396	lmao what an anticlimatic thread __________________ - Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)

03-21-2016, 10:42 AM	#4
anime_boners Bisky-chama <3 Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,082 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 85899389	obliterated last time i shit my pants I was black out drunk and didn't know it. found pants in my bathroom with shit in them. immediately disposed of them. __________________ anime boners - pronounced with a long I and a silent e. jsyk

03-21-2016, 11:39 AM	#5
Chill Phil World's Heaviest Ghost Join Date: May 2015 Location: At home Posts: 2,585 Rep Power: 48431850	drippy pants ass nigga __________________ Drunk in the club, let a nigga say somethin'... I'll have him fall victim like the nigga base jumpin',

03-21-2016, 07:11 PM	#6
Dabble MC Member Join Date: Mar 2016 Location: BAMF-Ville Posts: 44 Rep Power: 79524	shit happens..har har har. but I thought only pregnant bitches shit themselves when they sneezed? not calling you a pregnant bitch. just saying. __________________ Genocide Goes World Peace

03-21-2016, 07:42 PM	#7
SHECK WES Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2015 Posts: 690 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 4173632	Damn bro been there it sucks lol __________________ https://m.soundcloud.com/joe-boston/00-joe-boston-im-ready-ft-enig

03-24-2016, 08:25 AM	#8
timeless past tense Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: NJ Posts: 1,623 Battle Record: 22-39 Rep Power: 4341329	Just woke up went to rip a nice morning fart and boom there she is. Just got these boxers too No more yuengling and wawa classic chicken parms at 2am