Constrikta - Ebb and Flow

Strikta · 08-26-2015, 03:53 PM

The moonlight glistens, it's our tidal intuition
We rocked the boat one time.. we fit the prism
The shining strands of hair across those eyes..
..A perfect preface, to the title we had written
.
.
.
A voice coils around, constricting the spirit
Yet always uplifting.. a princess, my dearest
So tranquil & unperturbed, perfection obtained
I see you in my dreams... but yes, I'm awake
Serenity so untouched, our movement so warm
The dunes, under the boardwalk, you in my arms
That giant ball of gas drops in the horizon
Sweat in the sand, we're locked in as it lightens
Fingers intertwined, breasts on my sternum
Caressed by a goddess or this celestial person
Hex or a curse impossible, her silhouette..
Kept me on my toes, spinning.. no pirouette
Reaching Avalon, we were one w/ the planet
Rising up together but it plunged like a gannet
It crumbled down, seems I found a rockslide
Time's a flat circle I'd spin counterclockwise
Just to once again touch that radiant figure
Glowing, pretty frame, my Arcadian picture
.
.
.
.
Yet I question faith, old skies w/ the sparrow
How the devil manifests to lie in the marrow
As autumn approaches, Earth is turning gold
You in the breeze, only hurts a yearning soul
Your fine aroma, still was mine inside the coma
I'd die alone, love, to take away the myeloma
Whimsical in unison.. we owned the universe
But his wishes so punitive, scolding to coerce
That deprivation, left me stuck in desperation
It begun.. once they unplugged the respiration
Nirvana's unbeknownst to your spirit departing
When the waves hit our pier.... I'm hearing you calling

Unfukwitable · 08-28-2015, 01:19 PM

I'm not a usual topical reader, but this was smooth read here,
the message was clear and worded very dope.
u should join the AWOL or the poetry league bro most def,
Def wouldn't mind reading more pieces, 100.

Fingers intertwined, breasts on my sternum
Caressed by a goddess or this celestial person
Hex or a curse impossible, her silhouette..
Kept me on my toes, spinning.. no pirouette

@Strikta

Strikta · 08-28-2015, 01:59 PM

Dope, thanks brotha!

Flow · 08-31-2015, 03:03 AM

The opening lines to the second verse were fire. Great flow throughout and a nice display of vocabulary. Felt the midway of the second verse started to drop off slightly but it finished strong and the third verse was on point.

I second the above, should deffo join the AWOL if you haven't already.

Mr. J · 09-02-2015, 04:29 PM

I thought this was pretty smooth, it had some interesting points
the word choice is the stand out here, this read slightly more poetic
especially after the..'but yes...I'm awake' I thought that came off playish
if you know what I'm saying regardless, you use your vocab to an advantage.
carrying the piece with some really nice ideas and also keeping the flow on point
you really showcase a versatility that works for you here...really nice work...

Strikta · 08-18-2016, 07:22 PM

Forgot about this shit. Hardly anyone's seen it.

Was high af that day. Whew.

dead man · 11-21-2016, 08:33 PM

Fingers intertwined, breasts on my sternum
Caressed by a goddess or this celestial person
Hex or a curse impossible, her silhouette..
Kept me on my toes, spinning.. no pirouette

dope.

you have a knack for this even though you dont know it.

find your inspiration. laying in bed with your woman. something any man can understand and relate to on a certain level. tap into what motivates and inspires your expression and share it among friends. we appreciate it.

thanks

08-26-2015, 03:53 PM	#1
Strikta 39 NS, lost in votes once Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 11,242 Battle Record: 32-40 Champed - Time to Kill X - Write Week III Rep Power: 84181452	Constrikta - Ebb and Flow The moonlight glistens, it's our tidal intuition We rocked the boat one time.. we fit the prism The shining strands of hair across those eyes.. ..A perfect preface, to the title we had written . . . A voice coils around, constricting the spirit Yet always uplifting.. a princess, my dearest So tranquil & unperturbed, perfection obtained I see you in my dreams... but yes, I'm awake Serenity so untouched, our movement so warm The dunes, under the boardwalk, you in my arms That giant ball of gas drops in the horizon Sweat in the sand, we're locked in as it lightens Fingers intertwined, breasts on my sternum Caressed by a goddess or this celestial person Hex or a curse impossible, her silhouette.. Kept me on my toes, spinning.. no pirouette Reaching Avalon, we were one w/ the planet Rising up together but it plunged like a gannet It crumbled down, seems I found a rockslide Time's a flat circle I'd spin counterclockwise Just to once again touch that radiant figure Glowing, pretty frame, my Arcadian picture . . . . Yet I question faith, old skies w/ the sparrow How the devil manifests to lie in the marrow As autumn approaches, Earth is turning gold You in the breeze, only hurts a yearning soul Your fine aroma, still was mine inside the coma I'd die alone, love, to take away the myeloma Whimsical in unison.. we owned the universe But his wishes so punitive, scolding to coerce That deprivation, left me stuck in desperation It begun.. once they unplugged the respiration Nirvana's unbeknownst to your spirit departing When the waves hit our pier.... I'm hearing you calling Last edited by Strikta; 08-26-2015 at 04:11 PM.

08-28-2015, 01:19 PM	#2
Unfukwitable baz∞ka Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 1,643 Battle Record: 38-35 Champed - Fight Night 7 - Battle Arena Tournament - 1-2 Punch League Rep Power: 36460388	I'm not a usual topical reader, but this was smooth read here, the message was clear and worded very dope. u should join the AWOL or the poetry league bro most def, Def wouldn't mind reading more pieces, 100. Fingers intertwined, breasts on my sternum Caressed by a goddess or this celestial person Hex or a curse impossible, her silhouette.. Kept me on my toes, spinning.. no pirouette @Strikta __________________ WICKeD

09-02-2015, 04:29 PM	#5
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	I thought this was pretty smooth, it had some interesting points the word choice is the stand out here, this read slightly more poetic especially after the..'but yes...I'm awake' I thought that came off playish if you know what I'm saying regardless, you use your vocab to an advantage. carrying the piece with some really nice ideas and also keeping the flow on point you really showcase a versatility that works for you here...really nice work... __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

11-21-2016, 08:33 PM	#7
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	Fingers intertwined, breasts on my sternum Caressed by a goddess or this celestial person Hex or a curse impossible, her silhouette.. Kept me on my toes, spinning.. no pirouette dope. you have a knack for this even though you dont know it. find your inspiration. laying in bed with your woman. something any man can understand and relate to on a certain level. tap into what motivates and inspires your expression and share it among friends. we appreciate it. thanks __________________ Zack Wicks for president

08-28-2015, 01:59 PM	#3
Strikta 39 NS, lost in votes once Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 11,242 Battle Record: 32-40 Champed - Time to Kill X - Write Week III Rep Power: 84181452	Dope, thanks brotha!

08-31-2015, 03:03 AM	#4
Flow Upset Champion Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: West Mids Posts: 3,861 Battle Record: 57-49 Accomplishments - 50 Wins Champed - BA Rookie Tourney - 1-2 Punch League (x2) - Pandemonium Cypher - 1-2 Punch league Season 9 Rep Power: 24894581	The opening lines to the second verse were fire. Great flow throughout and a nice display of vocabulary. Felt the midway of the second verse started to drop off slightly but it finished strong and the third verse was on point. I second the above, should deffo join the AWOL if you haven't already.

08-18-2016, 07:22 PM	#6
Strikta 39 NS, lost in votes once Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 11,242 Battle Record: 32-40 Champed - Time to Kill X - Write Week III Rep Power: 84181452	Forgot about this shit. Hardly anyone's seen it. Was high af that day. Whew.