Destroyer vs. Vulgar - (Tie, 4-4)

[Vulgar]

LGPA Season 1: Week 3

@Destroyer

Check ins: Tuesday (Midnight Eastern time)
Poems Due: Friday (Midnight Eastern time)
Votes due: Sunday (Midnight Eastern time)

This week's theme is to write three haikus. Why three, you ask? You're probably thinking, why not just write one and vote for the best? In my opinion, writing one haiku is a little too easy. Writing three will increase your odds of winning the battle, should one not strike a chord, and also to make it a more thorough writing exercise.

Example of what your submission should look like:


'title'
[haiku]

'title'
[haiku]

'title'
[haiku]

Your theme for your haikus shall be: Fall

[Vulgar]

check check check check check
check check check check check check check
check check check check check

[Destroyer]

check check check check check check check
check check check check check check
check check check check check

[Vulgar]

'Crunch'

when sole meets a leaf
there's the sound of a loud crunch
...poor beetle beneath


'Succubus'

flowering woman
don't become a thorn in me
do not fall from grace


'House on Vaunted Hill'

house on vaunted hill
it remains a broken home
with a tree in front

[Destroyer]

'lynching'

it is amazing
how in the bible black night
sins burn brighter still

'honey'

they say bees are doomed
but when they buzz no longer
...we will feel the sting

'dawn'

the sun didn't rise
but maybe I'm just afraid
to open my eyes

[Dope girl]

They both did an amazing, I'm into both... destroyer piece deeper than v.
Vote destroyer

[sral]

I thought Vulgar did dope with Crunch, it was an unexpected almost flash fictional piece with a twist haha! It was crazy to think he did so much in so few lines with that, I loved it, thought maybe a snail could have been better used than a beetle maybe? But regardless, that's illy.

I wasn't as keen on "flowering woman" it seemed to lack the originality and creative spark of your first. I'm guessing that's why you sandwiched it between the two? I could be wrong, but this was your weakest third to me personally. It wasn't bad it just didn't grab my attention like the first haiku did and felt a little stagnant in comparison, esp given how good that first was.

Your third piece had some great imagery for so few lines/words. The play on vaunted/haunted was a nice touch, and the broken home with the tree out front conjured up this visual for me or an attempt to play happy families but the tree was almost a kind of mask hiding what went on behind it in the house? It also gave off this lonely feel, to me, maybe not as intriguing as your first haiku here but certainly good in it's own sense. Nice work.



Des: I loved the wording in your first, to start with the title "Lynching" then open with the words "It is amazing" made me laugh. So glad you didn't follow it up that route, but even the fact you choose that title and then those opening words just got my dry/black sense of humour to be honest. Also given your exchanges with Veritas, seeing you use the term "bible-black night" to describe it was brilliant I thought. Completely unexpected from you.

Your second was great as well, maybe not so stron in your word choice, but what I enjoyed in this one was you taking a very real possibly global problem and attempting to tackle it in -20 words? The closing line was really battle-esque, but that can work here I think, it was different to your first but I enjoyed this one also, even if for different reasons. The closer served it really well.

Your third was probably the weakest of your three IMO, it wasn't bad, it just don't really have anything that stood out either humorously or to do with the imagery or even creatively like your first did. I basically have this battle 2-2 with one "weaker" poem each that I didn't care for as much.

Vulgar has my fave one in the beetle under the leaf, but I actually prefer Des' two that I liked to the a Vulgar two that I like... so I gotta give this to Destro. Nice battle fellas!

[Hush]

Never read anything like this in my life. Don't even know how to interpret it. Is this a new kind of poem or something?

Man, I am not this "kind of smart" but I know what resonates within me, and what my life experiences help me relate too.

And this was the moment I knew I liked Vulgars better

'Succubus'

flowering woman
don't become a thorn in me
do not fall from grace



Loved it. The religious connotation in the start of Des poem took me out of the element.

v/ Vulgar

Sorry again for the shit votes guys, I don't know what else to say.

[Objective]

Vulgar - Haiku nr.1 - Dope shit man, modern haiku to the fucking core with that surprising twist at the end etc. Nr.2 - Loved this one as well, thought the first was better in terms of ''typical'' haiku tho' but this was thought out as well. The last was pretty straight forward, cool for what it was but it ends there. Enjoyed the first 2 a lot more than your last.

Destroyer - Your first haiku was pretty atmospheric to the theme you were given, cool shit. Your second haiku was cool with the twist on the end, enjoyed it. Same goes for the final haiku with a rhyme in it as well. Cool shit.

Vote - Cool match up and both came around with some dope submissions. I think it's cool to see Destroyer adapt and actually come along with some cool shit. That said I enjoyed Vulgars first haiku a lot, same thing with Destroyers second. Didn't really care that much for both writers third haiku as opposed to their first 2.

Personally I enjoyed Vulgars first 2 a bit more than Destroyers first 2 so my vote naturally ends up in Vulgars favor. Ye, Vulgar gets my vote.

[Woke]

I enjoyed all three. My least favorite would be "house on vaunted Hill" I most enjoyed the bee haiku. It had reality and depth tied into humor. I also enjoyed the surprise crunch as well as the concept behind the sun not rising, but maybe you're just not opening your eyes. All in all haikus can be a very challenging style of poem. Such a confined space to work with, while I must say you both far exceeded what I would expect, meaning I think all 6 are very well written with close attention to detail, I feel DEZ did a slightly better job in having 2 out of my favorite 3.

DEZ

[Gina]

Vulgar, 2-1

Vulgar gave the best visuals of the theme.

[UnbornBuddha]

There were three haiku's here that were particularly resonant.
Destroyter had the bee one, which I found very astute in presentation and pertinent. As well, as having a comical sense of relief with the pun and all. The other two were okay, but didn't strike a chord.

Vulgar: Crunch like Destroyer's honey piece was among my favorites. In fact those two were my favories. Crunch and the usage of sound to end it was a strong tool and is a fine piece. The next piece I liked was Succubus. Though, not as strong as Crunch or Destroyer's honey, it neverthless secures the bout for me. The last piece I did not have much inclination toward.

Vote: Vulgar

[ribbit]

This should go down as botw if you ask me...anyways I thought dessie took this with stronger attributes than vulgar so aye....

Vote.....destroyer