Me & My Reflection

Witty · 11-11-2014, 08:02 AM

Me & My Reflection

My eyes; bruised, beam with the glow of bright moons
I cry too, streams with the flow of typhoons
If the grief in my soul won’t leave me alone, I’ll die soon
I try to find the key to the zone where my mind’s strewn

I raise my hands to guard my eyes from this dark surprise
Shock enters my heart, and rids it of it’s stark supplies
I’m rigid, Her hateful face is livid as she starts to rise
My joy sparks and dies, as this demon barks and cries
I do not reply or show any dissent, I remain in silence
As I see her get ready to vent, I’ll be maimed in violence
Her hand reaches over, she gets a grip and grasps my hair
Beating my back and shoulders, while I gasp for air
She’s savagely beating me, I’m being ravaged repeatedly
I’m scrambling feebly, but still she’s attacking me easily
Recently these scenes have been happening frequently
She’s laughing in secrecy, a demon lacking in decency
She connects with my cheek, my face is a mess and I’m weak
I'm failing the test, she won’t stop ‘til I’m wrecked and I shriek
Her face is contorted in rage, nothing’s in place, it’s distorted
She’s unlocked from her cage, and her hate won’t be thwarted
Her eyes glare, with the wry stare from my nightmares
Nobody says life’s fair, but how is she trusted with child care?
I feel my arms get raised, she stares with a harmful gaze
A dark malaise fills my mind, as her eyes spark; ablaze
I look, and see her swinging for my nose with a right hook
I’m shook as it connects, the blood flows like a wild brook
Her left fist connects with force, sore and effective
Defective emotions have shattered and torn her perspective
She lowers me to the floor, and stands over me once more
Stomps my face, now the tide of life is throwing me ashore
Fists crash like a whip’s lash, leaving my ribs cracked
The room spins in circles, I clench my teeth at the impact
I feel tired and alone, as she rips the wire from the phone
I grunt and groan, her twisted desire’s becoming known
She binds my feet, then ties both arms behind a seat
My defeat is apparent, as she gives a smile of blind deceit
She approaches my face, her wide eyes frozen in hate
Her temper roasting, it’s me she has chose to berate
She slaps me, and now she giggling; happy
The sting lingers, as she curls her fingers and grabs me
Pulls my head towards her own, with extra force
Her twisted mind embraces evil, and neglects remorse
She spits in my face, and tells me I’m a pitiful waste
A single mother, saying that her own kid’s a disgrace
She says she has a drink, she will need me to swallow
Then I see the bleach, as she turns to reach for the bottle
My fingers tear at the seams of the rope, as terrible scenes
Enter my broken mind, enough to make a therapist scream
I’m dying, it’s nefarious and she’s finding this hilarious
But the rope is untying, though the timing is precarious
Finally I jump from the seat, just as the bottle is rising
Adrenaline ensuring my once tired body, is thriving
I pull the rope tight, with it wrapped in both of my fists
Put it over her throat, I can hear her choke as I twist
I drag her back to my body, so I can see her evil eyes
As she gasps for air, attempting to breathe, then dies

I walk out the house, without care and no kind of haste
Standing over a puddle, I stare at my mangled face
I refuse to grieve for my mother, or weep at her deception
From now on, all I’ll ever need, is me & my reflection

Witty · 11-11-2014, 08:04 AM

Gonna be dropping feed on a handful of OM's tonight, not just throwing shit up and expecting feed without giving it first.

Mr. J · 11-11-2014, 01:22 PM

This was an interesting piece as well, your flow is nice
And the way you keep the pace of the story is great
You transition from rhyme to rhyme somewhat effortlessly
In the beginning it was pretty bumpy when you broke from...
The full word syllable to broken syllable if that makes sense
it didn't effect the piece as a whole it just seems odd
we all do it, it just seemed difficult to keep the same pace of the flow
as far as the story goes I felt like it was pretty well done
it didn't lack anything too crucial and quite possibly defeat anyone in the AOWL
not me of course but I see you growing Witty its nice to see you in the OM

Witty · 11-11-2014, 05:30 PM

Thanks bro, this was something I actually wrote when I was 17 I think, 7 years ago lol don't think I posted it anywhere...this was when I still had passion and motivation, it's coming back tho...slowly.

H4ZE · 11-15-2014, 02:14 PM

yo this was sicks fuck man. Your flow was near perfect the whole way through, don't think I came across any slip ups in the flow at all. Your rhyme schemes were dope throughout as well, end multis were all great and you had tons of internal rhymes which helped make the flow as sick as it is. But the thing that really caught my eye with this piece was the way you pregressed through the story, you didn't drag anything on or rush any thing. Imagery was top notch, and every line meant something and went with the piece. No filller lines at all and your word choice was great and fit the piece perfectly. This was a great read man. Keep it up. Peace.

11-11-2014, 08:02 AM	#1
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	Me & My Reflection Me & My Reflection My eyes; bruised, beam with the glow of bright moons I cry too, streams with the flow of typhoons If the grief in my soul won’t leave me alone, I’ll die soon I try to find the key to the zone where my mind’s strewn I raise my hands to guard my eyes from this dark surprise Shock enters my heart, and rids it of it’s stark supplies I’m rigid, Her hateful face is livid as she starts to rise My joy sparks and dies, as this demon barks and cries I do not reply or show any dissent, I remain in silence As I see her get ready to vent, I’ll be maimed in violence Her hand reaches over, she gets a grip and grasps my hair Beating my back and shoulders, while I gasp for air She’s savagely beating me, I’m being ravaged repeatedly I’m scrambling feebly, but still she’s attacking me easily Recently these scenes have been happening frequently She’s laughing in secrecy, a demon lacking in decency She connects with my cheek, my face is a mess and I’m weak I'm failing the test, she won’t stop ‘til I’m wrecked and I shriek Her face is contorted in rage, nothing’s in place, it’s distorted She’s unlocked from her cage, and her hate won’t be thwarted Her eyes glare, with the wry stare from my nightmares Nobody says life’s fair, but how is she trusted with child care? I feel my arms get raised, she stares with a harmful gaze A dark malaise fills my mind, as her eyes spark; ablaze I look, and see her swinging for my nose with a right hook I’m shook as it connects, the blood flows like a wild brook Her left fist connects with force, sore and effective Defective emotions have shattered and torn her perspective She lowers me to the floor, and stands over me once more Stomps my face, now the tide of life is throwing me ashore Fists crash like a whip’s lash, leaving my ribs cracked The room spins in circles, I clench my teeth at the impact I feel tired and alone, as she rips the wire from the phone I grunt and groan, her twisted desire’s becoming known She binds my feet, then ties both arms behind a seat My defeat is apparent, as she gives a smile of blind deceit She approaches my face, her wide eyes frozen in hate Her temper roasting, it’s me she has chose to berate She slaps me, and now she giggling; happy The sting lingers, as she curls her fingers and grabs me Pulls my head towards her own, with extra force Her twisted mind embraces evil, and neglects remorse She spits in my face, and tells me I’m a pitiful waste A single mother, saying that her own kid’s a disgrace She says she has a drink, she will need me to swallow Then I see the bleach, as she turns to reach for the bottle My fingers tear at the seams of the rope, as terrible scenes Enter my broken mind, enough to make a therapist scream I’m dying, it’s nefarious and she’s finding this hilarious But the rope is untying, though the timing is precarious Finally I jump from the seat, just as the bottle is rising Adrenaline ensuring my once tired body, is thriving I pull the rope tight, with it wrapped in both of my fists Put it over her throat, I can hear her choke as I twist I drag her back to my body, so I can see her evil eyes As she gasps for air, attempting to breathe, then dies I walk out the house, without care and no kind of haste Standing over a puddle, I stare at my mangled face I refuse to grieve for my mother, or weep at her deception From now on, all I’ll ever need, is me & my reflection __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

11-11-2014, 08:04 AM	#2
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	Gonna be dropping feed on a handful of OM's tonight, not just throwing shit up and expecting feed without giving it first. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

11-11-2014, 01:22 PM	#3
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	This was an interesting piece as well, your flow is nice And the way you keep the pace of the story is great You transition from rhyme to rhyme somewhat effortlessly In the beginning it was pretty bumpy when you broke from... The full word syllable to broken syllable if that makes sense it didn't effect the piece as a whole it just seems odd we all do it, it just seemed difficult to keep the same pace of the flow as far as the story goes I felt like it was pretty well done it didn't lack anything too crucial and quite possibly defeat anyone in the AOWL not me of course but I see you growing Witty its nice to see you in the OM __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

11-11-2014, 05:30 PM	#4
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	Thanks bro, this was something I actually wrote when I was 17 I think, 7 years ago lol don't think I posted it anywhere...this was when I still had passion and motivation, it's coming back tho...slowly. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

11-15-2014, 02:14 PM	#5
H4ZE Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Florida Posts: 77 Battle Record: 1-2 Rep Power: 0	yo this was sicks fuck man. Your flow was near perfect the whole way through, don't think I came across any slip ups in the flow at all. Your rhyme schemes were dope throughout as well, end multis were all great and you had tons of internal rhymes which helped make the flow as sick as it is. But the thing that really caught my eye with this piece was the way you pregressed through the story, you didn't drag anything on or rush any thing. Imagery was top notch, and every line meant something and went with the piece. No filller lines at all and your word choice was great and fit the piece perfectly. This was a great read man. Keep it up. Peace.