Forbidden Tongue

[Spoken]

Killing time for rhyme to take place; to be existent
Seems persistent to think otherwise of its actual existence.

So.....

He seems withered and torn a scorn soul to most,
A dillinger in his era when jotting ink at his post.
Juxtaposition- more of an approach he precedes,
Being close was the problem but what he solemnly seeks.

Is he an activist or a novelist thirstin' for knowledge,
Land of the free yet we hold on to what's never payed homage.
The horology of most is locked behind cabinet colleges,
Hunger for opposites but fed nothing; no use for the esophagus.
Broken homes in cottages w/ despair on the steps,
Our way down neglects what we are told to accept.
They say it's the land of the free yet we can't say what we think,
Head lines to hands broken a front page notice that sinks.
Who are we as writers when we're held to To a limit in speech,
The New America bleeds as we fade slowly

Just like religion; Belief.

"Proceeds of history negate the norm
Shower the canvas and weather the storms.
Caress the collages and paint stories untold
At its finest of hours it's covered and mourned"

I will say this...
He grew to no ones likeness at best
Broken, rejected and hopeless to even invest.
Proper procedures detest he was a rambling scholar,
Had knowledge for days but still would wade in the water.

[Kin]

Hunger for opposites but fed nothing; no use for the esophagus.
nice wording right there


Who are we as writers when we're held to To a limit in speech,
-Daaaaamn! thats juz crazy...makes u think best line^

overall u droppin' some knowledge here...deep shit written nice.. no complaints

Good shit

HoLLa

[Spoken]

Thanks kin appreciate the look

[Mr. J]

s he an activist or a novelist thirstin' for knowledge,
Land of the free yet we hold on to what's never payed homage.
^^^^^^
this was interesting

the whole piece was nice it flowed together well
how you brought the topic together was smooth
your name matches your technique on this one
haven't read much of your stuff but I'll be on the look out

[Spoken]

Thanks partner

[Vulgar]

I was glad to see you came back because writing is a great hobby to have...this one was more engaging than the last thing I read from you, if I'm remembering correctly. The slight subtleties in your ideas nudged them towards that 'object of interest' territory others might not be able to pull off. As a whole, there are still nuances you're not picking up on, moments you aren't capitalizing on. It was about censorship yet it didn't offer anything concretely theoretical; emphasis was placed on an issue, and you pondered it for a bit. As the reader, I recognized that - an unremarkable piece, but a step in the right direction.

Keep it up Story.

[Spoken]

@Vulgar thank you for the time u spent to decipher and critique on what I need to stop slacking in man appreciate it alot

[Exis]

It's been ages since I've read sumthin' of yours, which is my bad as more than often I like what you post.

I think at times you try to over think what your gonna write next, you set up things yet they never connect, or when they do it doesn't resonate with most of your readers...in the mind it does, but when your pennin' it up the separation is evident.You definitely have the tools to dig further in this art, I've seen better from you...what I do like is the emotion you lace your joints with...if every bar of yours was like the ones cats have quoted here you'd drop heat for weeks.

Stay upwards.

[Spoken]

Thanks @Exis I will rtf my brotha

[Coup]

Rigid opening. The strong rhymes (time/rhymes, existent/persistent etc) were cliches, under realized and too many syllables in such an overall short worded intro...struck the wrong balance.


Liked the theme and loved the last line in this piece.