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Old 11-07-2014, 09:19 AM   #1
timeless
past tense
 
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Default Fiendscape

Tame and straight as the path of a hollow tip,
we paved ways on the map towards where Chicago is.
Or was it Washington flooded by the politics?
At least I acknowledge this memory of mine lodged within
my mind but it's still lacking oxygen. I can't make it breathe.
750 lasting watts to blink. Nervous system made to bleed.
Prisoner of my own mind, I escaped with ease. Free at last.
'Sinister!', read the road sign. I misplaced my keys, screaming mad.
My alienated half believed the half glass full of mirrored slurs
that mutter clearer words than we could ever hear in church.
From here to Earth, we train for battle in the shadows.
Disguised as a snake with no rattle. Maybe a tadpole.
Depending on the day of the week and our creative mindset.
Either way you won't see us coming. Face? Ate it. Let me digest.
Passion on the rocks, save the olives for the garden.
An assassin's plot gave the prophets a new bargain.
Potatoes mashed in a pot, locked in gravy stardom.
Volcano ash forgot its watch on the flames of arson
parting the heartland into two halves : blackjack and craps.
Quarterbacks carted into the back so the halfbacks were sacked.
Then he threw an interception into the hands of terrorists.
Kamikazes on heroin tearing limbs from adventurists,
with a daring plan to block the flames with a weatherstrip.
Not knowing your whole body's already charred and hemorrhaged.
Barred from sentences since the Verse announced its definition.
I fell in love with premonitions that I'd get the attention
like a wolf sentenced for howling at the fucking moon....
"Pardon me, maple syrup on my pancakes and hazel
for my newfound coffee graces nigh handshakes for bagels."
The eggs were stable, the bacon's true colors had surfaced.
Immersed in enough grease to pull and cut all the circuits
connected to his worthless heart...
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Old 11-07-2014, 04:22 PM   #2
Mr. J
The Clown Prince
 
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Default

Well after "Sinister" I kind of lost interest then I got to the half and half
and thought this could have been cream if he followed through with how the beginning went
after reading on I felt you just got drunk slurred half the text and went off on a tangent
otherwise I kept reading and realized you were doing pretty good at linking it all together
but it just seemed like it happened a little later than how you started off
it was a cool little read though, I wasnt blown away...but I wasn't disappointed either
keep writing young one
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