bitten

gitto138 · 07-31-2014, 09:03 AM

This was bitten, but if you'd like to see the original:

DexLabb · 07-31-2014, 01:28 PM

african can shake a spear at lmfao

gitto138 · 08-01-2014, 04:05 PM

Any one gonna feed this

This is shit then

JESODIST · 08-01-2014, 06:22 PM

Some of the rhymes were forced, but your accomplishments were very clear.
Not a bad story, Put some multies once in a while.

Mitch · 08-01-2014, 06:37 PM

i like your alliteration, this was your best style so far

big baby · 08-01-2014, 10:43 PM

wish you expanded further when you were talking about antonyms and synonyms, like how did you do this stuff, cinemas from synonyms? it would be better than the dabble after it. good stuff.

UnbornBuddha · 08-02-2014, 03:55 AM

Good stuff. I get the feeling many times you just rhymed to rhyme. Using words that had similar connotations and using them for the sake of doing so. I did enjoy you using grammar words so as to lead a discussion on your love for language, and its implications when interacting with the world. Although you had a method, it lacked a certain focal point that inevitably will give it a direction in which you can explain what you truly want to. The meaning at times was eschewed by certain phrasing that sometimes was used for the sake of maintaining a certain order. Which is important, but the conveying of your conceptual framework precedes it.
Anyways keep writing. You are sure to prosper.

Vulgar · 08-05-2014, 11:31 PM

Quote:

I studied more Shakespeare
Than any African can shake a spear at
And the whole world fear that

lol

I don't have any witty remarks for your witty remarks. I could pull something out of my hat yet it would be unbecometh of me - cool writing, some fun content here. Not the most original at some parts but you nurtured it into an enjoyable flirt/piece. Welcome to Netcees, stick around.

Keep doing you

Eŋg · 08-06-2014, 12:13 AM

everyone who posted before me is officially retarded:

officially. but not as much as OP. banhammer, please.

07-31-2014, 01:28 PM	#2
DexLabb song genius Join Date: Sep 2013 Posts: 377 Rep Power: 0	african can shake a spear at lmfao __________________ ZOOM IN ON THAT ASS LIKE BINOCULARS

08-01-2014, 04:05 PM	#3
gitto138 Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: BITER Posts: 138 Battle Record: BITER Rep Power: 0	Any one gonna feed this This is shit then Last edited by Zen; 08-01-2014 at 04:11 PM.

08-01-2014, 06:37 PM	#5
Mitch Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 160 Rep Power: 2208348	i like your alliteration, this was your best style so far __________________ Soundcloud.com/TheDirtySerpent

08-01-2014, 06:22 PM	#4
JESODIST Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 295 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 976836	Some of the rhymes were forced, but your accomplishments were very clear. Not a bad story, Put some multies once in a while.

08-02-2014, 03:55 AM	#7
UnbornBuddha Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 1,008 Battle Record: 23-10 Champed - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 5 Rep Power: 23856376	Good stuff. I get the feeling many times you just rhymed to rhyme. Using words that had similar connotations and using them for the sake of doing so. I did enjoy you using grammar words so as to lead a discussion on your love for language, and its implications when interacting with the world. Although you had a method, it lacked a certain focal point that inevitably will give it a direction in which you can explain what you truly want to. The meaning at times was eschewed by certain phrasing that sometimes was used for the sake of maintaining a certain order. Which is important, but the conveying of your conceptual framework precedes it. Anyways keep writing. You are sure to prosper.