Roses

[Kiki]

I find It kinda odd, that this rose grew thorns
When before I had a softspot like newborns
was sweet then bitter I can't taste no more
guess all roses wither, then litter the floor
At my door, a single pretty white rose laid
U gave me white cuz u said reds just too plain
Pain dissapated and became somethin better
Still Remember the night u gave me your sweater
Genuine gestures began to relieve the pressures
Of wearin a mask to please my other half
Wish I kept it on and gave the flower back
Now I can't move on the sweaters on the rack
Glass heart shattered when I fell for you
Can't believe I really felt for you..
Really dealt with you...
Not regretful cuz what's done is done
Now I got another rose hope it gets some sun

[Mael]

Apart from punctuational and grammatical errors, this was a decent peace. Short and quaint. Welcome.

[YDK]

Nice lil drop here, appreciate the approach and the metaphorical take and that you were able to keep on the topic. The lines themselves were a Tad short for me and really kept the flow simple compared to my personal preference but to each is own. Solid drop here stay around and keep droppin

[Dope girl]

look like a Poem...... Nice meaningful words.

[Pakistani Hand Cannon]

one of the few pieces i've read on here that actually has that genuine poetic feel.

wdeva. this was nice.

[Objective]

I also got the poetic feel of this verse. Short and simple imo, but to the point. As a poem this was pretty cool, just gotta tune up the grammars for it to conform better, but yeah, cool enough.

Welcome.

[Pakistani Hand Cannon]

just gotta say this...

Originally Posted by Objective

I also got the poetic feel of this verse. Short and simple imo, but to the point. As a poem this was pretty cool, just gotta tune up the grammars for it to conform better, but yeah, cool enough.

Welcome.

believe it or not, thats not everybodies aim,

[Objective]

Originally Posted by Rugged

believe it or not, thats not everybodies aim,

Word, but if you want people to read it, and I'm thinking in terms of publishing the shit, you're at a loss if you want to market your shit and reach a wider audience. Then again, I got a pretty high aim at where I want with my writing. And feedback is just feedback and everything gotta be taken with a grain of salt, whatever the writer feels will help it improve is what the writer is gonna take with him/her. I'm just giving my opinion, if it's of any use is up to the author to decide and I'm cool with whatever.

But yeah, don't become a fucking clone either.

[Coup]

good wording, good alliteration(sp) to establish the mood, I felt it...

Props on using the rose metaphor in a few ways, to describe your condition and relations and how it serves as a metaphor for your general well being both past and present, and like how a rose grows and like how it reacts to the elements, so do you. nice concept...lots of good lines

Still Remember the night u gave me your sweater
Genuine gestures began to relieve the pressures
Of wearin a mask to please my other half
Wish I kept it on and gave the flower back
Now I can't move on the sweaters on the rack
Glass heart shattered when I fell for you
Can't believe I really felt for you..
Really dealt with you...
Not regretful cuz what's done is done
Now I got another rose hope it gets some sun

^incredible detail...stark images. props

[Kiki]

Thanks for the feedback it was written to roses by nas i havent written in a while and suddenly im inspired again

[God Of War]

this was ok i found the poeticness of it ok but the subject was something ive seen before

i dont know it was cool would like to see what u could do outside of that zone tbh

keep dropping and welcome

[Dope girl]

you should be Poetry writer cuz you write amazing Poems.

[Pakistani Hand Cannon]

^ do you find no irony in that post holmes?