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#1 |
Arm the Homeless
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 35079722 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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I see everyone doing this paragraph shit so I'll guess I'll conform haha.
This is my letter to God, somewhere along the lines we severed the bond. Maybe its better to go on and be forever at odds, with each other. This whole time I been lying beneath covers trying to rediscover, my path and my roots. All the while I was laughing at you and thats the truth. I wondered if there was something more above me, and I knew to the core you didn't love me. I was a lost boy, and now I'm a lost man. I couldn't find answers but they said god can, but your little bible never answers the why. I learned more from Holden in Catcher in the Rye. Dad's dead and they say he's in heaven, and back then I believed that without question. But I gotta make a confession you made a terrible first impression, on me as a toddler as a fucking thief stealin my father. Do you even know my name? I used to pray but nothing came, so fuck it why bother? And why did you send your only son to be a fuckin martyr? Does life have no meaning, if so I see no reason to go any farther. Do you hate me? Or am I just fodder? I tried to move on but lately it's gettin harder. I'll send the rest when I got your reply, here's my letter addressed to your spot in the sky. This is reposted from NC right before it crashed and as I said on there I think it's better as a rap than a text drop but you be the judge. |
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#3 |
Arm the Homeless
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 35079722 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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This was my first post ever I think haha. Appreciate the feed holmes.
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#4 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 145
Rep Power: 671780 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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This is good cause it's real. Don't lose that.
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#5 |
NJ Devil
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 12,036
Battle Record: Who Cares
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Rep Power: 84181420 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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I see you Zen
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Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk |
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#6 |
Get MacDon
Join Date: Dec 1969
Posts: 2,168
Battle Record: 3-7
Accomplishments - OM HOF
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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This was pretty dope.
Sincere, and real. Thoughts n transitions were smooth. Everything was wrapped together nicely. and despite being paragraph flow was pretty evident. Nice drop zen
__________________
FFC>FCC A. bove T. he R. est
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#7 |
Om
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6,461
Battle Record: 8-16
Rep Power: 84181562 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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A raw cut of emotion. You make the same critiques we've all made at some frustrating point in our lives. Although I would've liked to see it move beyond surface level, you expressed yourself well and the wording was crisp. Your strong with multis, which makes for a smooth read. I'm proud of you bitch. Now keep writing.
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BIRDHORSE 8-15 |
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