High as hell aiming for land. Bud color red and yellow like a hulkamania fan

Hush · 02-23-2014, 10:01 AM

A hollow point missile couldn't pierce my skin tissue fired from close range
Shining isn't an issue. U need Run DMC ropes to hang with my dope chains.
Heart icey black and the grip on the berettas gold. Forever cold
Niggas call me a hundred grand cuz like a stack I never fold
Vendettas old I can't even ignore got too much evil instore to even the score
inner demons galore. Gleaming in gore dirty deeds in the cleanest velour
In sweat suits with nothing to sweat. Can't hold my tongue grew up with Tourette's
Puffing the best. Snap back brooklyn nets no fucking regrets.
Homegrown so fuck a connect. Business had room to grow from a grow room
Switch up was so soon. From silver to gold spoons. Vaporizers exhaling off no fumes
In this game of thrones I'm in a lane alone
No superman ur Lois lane alone trapped in the danger zone when I aim the chrome

Sick · 02-23-2014, 10:11 AM

You are truly one lazy motherfucker almost worst than Gow and Allen Knight when it comes to grammar

at least put some effort into shit and don't use "ur" for "your" in an open mic

Shit was straight though can't hate, opener was dope

6/10

Eviscerate · 02-23-2014, 12:12 PM

this was dope.

kyzo stfu ur an idiot.

Just Write · 02-23-2014, 12:32 PM

This was pretty cool. Hundred grand line was fire, as was the last few lines. Nice to see u droppin in here more bro. Stay up

Sick · 02-23-2014, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eviscerate

this was dope.

kyzo stfu ur an idiot.

Look around at the quality/standard of oms I was just telling him to check his grammar

keep your opinion to yourself fagg0t

Just Write · 02-23-2014, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyzo

You are truly one lazy motherfucker almost worst than Gow and Allen Knight when it comes to grammar

at least put some effort into shit and don't use "ur" for "your" in an open mic

Shit was straight though can't hate, opener was dope

6/10

The irony in this post is superb

Wise Wiggles · 02-23-2014, 01:34 PM

Lol nets

Sick · 02-23-2014, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Write

The irony in this post is superb

I'm not the one dropping the OM though

plus why didn't you tell me the fact that I ain't use periods & commas fagg0t

Just Write · 02-23-2014, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyzo

I'm not the one dropping the OM though

plus why didn't you tell me the fact that I ain't use periods & commas fagg0t

Didn't, you didn't use period's or comma's. I tell you what. I'll help you with this, everytime I see you post and make a grammatical error i will post reply and correct them. We'll get through this together buddy. I love helping people

Sick · 02-23-2014, 02:28 PM

Nah I'm good

Grammar ain't a thing unless I'm dropping oms

Just Write · 02-23-2014, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyzo

Nah I'm good

Grammar ain't a thing unless I'm dropping oms

Isn't.

Sick · 02-23-2014, 02:32 PM

*Fagg0t

tyler · 02-23-2014, 03:03 PM

To me this was an entertaining read... It picked up in the middle that segment was my favorite part and I liked most the schemes so pretty solid for a quick one.

NYCSPITZ · 02-23-2014, 07:53 PM

Pretty good actually

Illume · 02-24-2014, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Write

Didn't, you didn't use period's or comma's. I tell you what. I'll help you with this, everytime I see you post and make a grammatical error i will post reply and correct them. We'll get through this together buddy. I love helping people

Hahaa!!

Naw but the post had some great little lines. There was a bit of the flow near the end that had this 'depress' 'regress' 'finesse' sorta rhyme scheme, every few words. I was waiting for the OP to really open this up. This was one of those rhymes, though technically good, that I wish I'd come up with the scheme for. It's runnin' around in my head now. Could have been fleshed out for a full length rhyme IMO.

I liked it, for the most part, though, but too short.

Tettris · 02-24-2014, 09:55 AM

nice piece homey...

Vendettas old I can't even ignore got too much evil instore to even the score
inner demons galore. Gleaming in gore dirty deeds in the cleanest velour

^^^this tho....fiyah!

Vulgar · 02-24-2014, 11:05 AM

Battle heads are capable of beating the best topical heads. Period. I've known this since 2004. Anyways...

Homegrown so fuck a connect. Business had room to grow from a grow room
Switch up was so soon. From silver to gold spoons. Vaporizers exhaling off no fumes
^This was fire.

Last bar was cool too but you said 'alone' in the second line too which threw me off. Good keystyle.

keep doing you

Allen Knight · 02-24-2014, 11:23 AM

dope shit

SpongebobSquarepants · 02-24-2014, 05:07 PM

Not great, decent punch liney but simple vocab and predictable

Geno · 02-25-2014, 09:09 AM

enjoyed this. glad your here

02-23-2014, 10:01 AM	#1
Hush NJ Devil Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,036 Battle Record: Who Cares Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Rep Power: 84181420	High as hell aiming for land. Bud color red and yellow like a hulkamania fan A hollow point missile couldn't pierce my skin tissue fired from close range Shining isn't an issue. U need Run DMC ropes to hang with my dope chains. Heart icey black and the grip on the berettas gold. Forever cold Niggas call me a hundred grand cuz like a stack I never fold Vendettas old I can't even ignore got too much evil instore to even the score inner demons galore. Gleaming in gore dirty deeds in the cleanest velour In sweat suits with nothing to sweat. Can't hold my tongue grew up with Tourette's Puffing the best. Snap back brooklyn nets no fucking regrets. Homegrown so fuck a connect. Business had room to grow from a grow room Switch up was so soon. From silver to gold spoons. Vaporizers exhaling off no fumes In this game of thrones I'm in a lane alone No superman ur Lois lane alone trapped in the danger zone when I aim the chrome __________________ Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk

02-23-2014, 12:12 PM	#3
Eviscerate stokely carmichael of rap Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 144 Rep Power: 3155074	this was dope. kyzo stfu ur an idiot. __________________ i used to do that here..

02-23-2014, 12:32 PM	#4
Just Write Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,709 Battle Record: 9-12 Rep Power: 4997617	This was pretty cool. Hundred grand line was fire, as was the last few lines. Nice to see u droppin in here more bro. Stay up __________________

02-23-2014, 01:34 PM	#7
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	Lol nets __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

02-23-2014, 07:53 PM	#14
NYCSPITZ SYRACUSE Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,031 Battle Record: 31-37 Champed - Write Night II - Alias Topical Tournament Rep Power: 4743547	Pretty good actually __________________ UNIFIED THEORY

02-23-2014, 10:11 AM	#2
Sick t00 0riginal 4 u Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Just Write's mother's house Posts: 1,042 Battle Record: 7-1 Rep Power: 1837334	You are truly one lazy motherfucker almost worst than Gow and Allen Knight when it comes to grammar at least put some effort into shit and don't use "ur" for "your" in an open mic Shit was straight though can't hate, opener was dope 6/10

02-23-2014, 02:28 PM	#10
Sick t00 0riginal 4 u Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Just Write's mother's house Posts: 1,042 Battle Record: 7-1 Rep Power: 1837334	Nah I'm good Grammar ain't a thing unless I'm dropping oms

02-23-2014, 02:32 PM	#12
Sick t00 0riginal 4 u Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Just Write's mother's house Posts: 1,042 Battle Record: 7-1 Rep Power: 1837334	*Fagg0t

02-23-2014, 03:03 PM	#13
tyler Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 180 Battle Record: 5-9 Rep Power: 38	To me this was an entertaining read... It picked up in the middle that segment was my favorite part and I liked most the schemes so pretty solid for a quick one.

02-24-2014, 09:55 AM	#16
Tettris Retiree Join Date: Jan 2014 Posts: 199 Battle Record: 10-2 Champed - Netcees Battle League Rep Power: 306753	nice piece homey... Vendettas old I can't even ignore got too much evil instore to even the score inner demons galore. Gleaming in gore dirty deeds in the cleanest velour ^^^this tho....fiyah! __________________ *DOHPE*

02-24-2014, 11:05 AM	#17
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Battle heads are capable of beating the best topical heads. Period. I've known this since 2004. Anyways... Homegrown so fuck a connect. Business had room to grow from a grow room Switch up was so soon. From silver to gold spoons. Vaporizers exhaling off no fumes ^This was fire. Last bar was cool too but you said 'alone' in the second line too which threw me off. Good keystyle. keep doing you

02-24-2014, 11:23 AM	#18
Allen Knight Foreva us, neva them. Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 9,176 Battle Record: 106-34 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Key to Greatness I - BA Cypher Tournament - Tag Team Tournament I - Fight Night LXXVI - Time to Kill V - Fight Night LXXX - 1-2 Punch League - Fight Night Cypher II - Key Grand Prix IV - NBL Cypher (7x) - Throwdown Cypher - Netcees Battle League (2x) - BA Cypher III - Fight Night 1 - Tag Team Tournament V Rep Power: 85899401	dope shit __________________ C.O.B The Bad Guys.

02-24-2014, 05:07 PM	#19
SpongebobSquarepants Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 5 Rep Power: 0	Not great, decent punch liney but simple vocab and predictable

02-25-2014, 09:09 AM	#20
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	enjoyed this. glad your here __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode