fellas dont you hate it when.....

[Chyeahhh!!!]

Your first piss after you nut has you.doing some.Olympic yoga style shit over the porcalin? Swear to god I feel like I'm posing for a hood ornament on the hood of Mr Americas car and shit b!
More to come later...

[Neighbor]

Or when you chill for a minute & the nut dries & seals a little piece of your dick hole shut & you get the dual stream effect?

Or is that just me?

[Frank Metts]

Originally Posted by Chyeahhh Guevara

More to come later...

I see what you did their ...


@Neighbor my first piss always has more streams then Justin tv on fight night.... To the point were I'm just like " fuck it, Cleanig it up is less work then trying to aim four ways " or I just get a shower then I can piss whatever way I want as long as it isn't up.

[Neighbor]

I hate when you get the one that goes a little to the left, but in the toilet & the other one that just goes straight down all over the floor

Also hate when you nut all over her stomach or ass & have to grab the nearest t-shirt to catch it from rolling off & getting all over the blanket

Trials & tribulations

Yeah I get OPs situation every morning (morning glory). Gotta do some superman-esq stance over the toilet in order not to piss on the roof.

[Diode]

[Certain]

Sometimes I sit to piss when I can predict that's going to happen.

I admit it.

[Darth Yoda]

I always sit to piss. I'm a bitch. On the other note, Neighbors right, what's even worse, is when you have a boner and you have to point it down and the dual stream effect takes place and you're like a captain on a wrecked ship and you're ordering commands and grabbing towels and pulling levers and knobs and you want to go into the toilet more but your peen might touch the urine water and your piss is hitting everything with the dual stream cannon. You're worried, and it hits the toilet paper so now all of it is stained and you'redoing some weird frogger leap frog thing with the toilet with half a boner and dried up semen everywhere, or whats worse is when your semen is fuse burned over the opening and it's like trying to shake a carbonated drink or popping the champagne bottle and you can feel it go through your penis tract and it's like holding the water off from a hose you think its cool cause it builds up pressure and then you sympathize with hoses. And I can't sit down like I usually do because my boner won't allow it, and there's no possible geometry or angle in the world that would allow me.

[Fig]

Originally Posted by Darth Yoda

And I can't sit down like I usually do because my boner won't allow it, and there's no possible geometry or angle in the world that would allow me.

you gotta handstand facing the toilet, then bend your legs so that the tops of your thighs are resting on the seat.

[Certain]

I just masturbate. Then I sit down to pee.

[Plot]

I don't understand why I have to always look at my shit. I'm like finished shitting and before I go to wipe have to have a look at it, why do I do that?

[Certain]

@Neighbor, I just want to point out that I'm responsible for two-thirds of your signature.

[Mr. J]

Originally Posted by Plot

I don't understand why I have to always look at my shit. I'm like finished shitting and before I go to wipe have to have a look at it, why do I do that?

leaned

[Neighbor]

Originally Posted by Certain

@Neighbor, I just want to point out that I'm responsible for two-thirds of your signature.

Noted

[Fig]

Originally Posted by Certain

@Neighbor, I just want to point out that I'm responsible for two-thirds of your signature.

If we were going by exact measurements, I'd say about three-fourths

but hey, who am I, yanno

[Split]

same

[detour]

I hate waking up with morning wood in the middle of the night an u to to the bathroom cuz u gotta shit but u also have to piss to so ur tryna do both but u can't cuz ur dick ain't going down in the toilet so u have to like shit an hold in the #1 then kinda stand halfway over the seat to aim it down...otherwise u gon have ur junk all under the rim of the toilet lid an that's just no bueno...

[detour]

Originally Posted by Darth Yoda

I always sit to piss. I'm a bitch. On the other note, Neighbors right, what's even worse, is when you have a boner and you have to point it down and the dual stream effect takes place and you're like a captain on a wrecked ship and you're ordering commands and grabbing towels and pulling levers and knobs and you want to go into the toilet more but your peen might touch the urine water and your piss is hitting everything with the dual stream cannon. You're worried, and it hits the toilet paper so now all of it is stained and you'redoing some weird frogger leap frog thing with the toilet with half a boner and dried up semen everywhere, or whats worse is when your semen is fuse burned over the opening and it's like trying to shake a carbonated drink or popping the champagne bottle and you can feel it go through your penis tract and it's like holding the water off from a hose you think its cool cause it builds up pressure and then you sympathize with hoses. And I can't sit down like I usually do because my boner won't allow it, and there's no possible geometry or angle in the world that would allow me.

AAAAHHHHH U BEAT ME TO IT FUCKER

[Ghost1]

I banged this bitch on her period.the other day...pulled out an blasted all over her stomach an it was just this monster red rope of blood an jiz

I hated that

[veritas]

Originally Posted by Plot

I don't understand why I have to always look at my shit. I'm like finished shitting and before I go to wipe have to have a look at it, why do I do that?

everyone does that. you want to see if you are "healthy"


does anyone ever poop and then use the shower to wipe? or pee in the sink?