Devil's Desire

[Alice White]

Tale of realisation

"On my very first day off since I moved into this house,
I decided to clear out the attic,
I ever so wondered what's up there.."

as I put a step forward on the wooden ladder
it overcomes me with a gruesome shiver
lunar-driven, it must be defiance of logic in its pure existence
but hesitation was not in my books of manner, so I enter..

a site in the attic, dimmed by well-lit shades
for the mind's eye to reflect splendidness, of lavish days
a mellifluous voice rises, from the peril-toned corner light,
"I shall grant you a choice of thrice, ornaments of a rejoicing life
to acquire, you need to unleash the painting on-site"

as I'm nearing the said, the shrouding unveils an eerily madness
with piercing glances, to freeze the blood in my vein
as synthesized as every pigment on the canvas
visualized limbs on a threshold, elapsing
depicted visions of intrinsic blisses, panic
witnessed, through my monocle's reminiscent niches
still, there was a beauty in her, not to be put in stanzas
spellbinding as a reaper's odour, to lunar attractions
this portrait from afar, so close, in the agone thoughts of my own
yet her charm is solely employed, to evoke morbid paroles
yet eyes of such a familiar bond as only nature could narrate
as I am gazing at them in a state, of awakening array

I slowly see the broader picture,
in the distance lies a water image,
of a silhouette line
glaring at the sight, of my newlywed wife..
- Lillith. From Lucifer desired.




This is one of the first pieces I wrote a while ago (my first topical).
Any feed is appreciated..

[JESODIST]

There is a ghost Living in the Darkest Attic,
When i Narate the story to my grandmother she Starts to Panic,
Engulfed by a Presence that is Cold and Satanic undrgoing something Profound and Fantastic,
the encounter can be one described as beyond and Galactic,
Unexplainable to the Youngest Minds even if it was repeated a Thousand Times,
The occult Forces travell Up the Spine, never witnessed before and Baffling who Finds,
the key to the portal connecting living mortals to the Other side,
you know a place to connect with the Brother's that Died,
Feels like the moment you explore the outside Walking out of your Mother's Thighs,
the entrance is only Ladder High, most friends are scared to be but I Rather Try,
My luck on this mysterious journey to a place where the Phantoms Reside...

Alice i like your choice of words, I am a fan of your work, Thank you for sharing love

[Mr. J]

^^^lol


anyway this was pretty cool I thought you got off to a bumpy start though
as I put a step forward...that sounded kind of weird to me saying it...
but I did enjoy the bits of multi usage that you put into this...really made it shine
I feel after you got over that hump you really started to build a stronger presence
especially in these areas

as I'm nearing the said, the shrouding unveils an eerily madness
with piercing glances, to freeze the blood in my vein
as synthesized as every pigment on the canvas
visualized limbs on a threshold, elapsing
depicted visions of intrinsic blisses, panic

^^^
that was a nice read right there. I enjoyed this though
keep it up..

[Alice White]

Thank you! I wrote this last year sometime, one of my first ones, so I appreciate the read.

[Dabble MC]

you snuck this one by me Alice, shame shame!!



---
"On my very first day off since I moved into this house,
I decided to clear out the attic,
I ever so wondered what's up there.."
---

shit, you got me intrigued too!


-----
as I put a step forward on the wooden ladder
it overcomes me with a gruesome shiver
lunar-driven, it must be defiance of logic in its pure existence
but hesitation was not in my books of manner, so I enter..
----

the transition on gruesome shiver and lunar-driven then the inners that lead to so I enter is a style of writing I must envy. obviously, I wasnt there when you wrote this, but from a technical standpoint..it felt like you just let the words write themselves. like the minute you wrote gruesome shiver..you said lets see where this goes! and it ended so perfectly. really good writing. your style is one of my favorites.


----
a site in the attic, dimmed by well-lit shades
for the mind's eye to reflect splendidness, of lavish days
a mellifluous voice rises, from the peril-toned corner light,
"I shall grant you a choice of thrice, ornaments of a rejoicing life
to acquire, you need to unleash the painting on-site"
-----

descriptive is your nature. your cadence is always poetic and probably why im drawn to your style with such admiration, but your descriptions are second to none.. nice narrative.


------
as I'm nearing the said, the shrouding unveils an eerily madness
with piercing glances, to freeze the blood in my vein
as synthesized as every pigment on the canvas
visualized limbs on a threshold, elapsing
depicted visions of intrinsic blisses, panic
witnessed, through my monocle's reminiscent niches
still, there was a beauty in her, not to be put in stanzas
----

in the words of a member of the audience at a URL Rap Battle "TALK THAT SHIT!". I think Nigma's favorite word all week has been monocle and I think he stole it from you.


-------
spellbinding as a reaper's odour, to lunar attractions
this portrait from afar, so close, in the agone thoughts of my own
yet her charm is solely employed, to evoke morbid paroles
yet eyes of such a familiar bond as only nature could narrate
as I am gazing at them in a state, of awakening array
-------

the way you are hypnotized by the painting.. is how I feel about your word choices at times. this wasnt one of those times tho. wasnt a huge fan of using lunar again..even tho it goes with the story, and as descriptive as you normally are, this felt a bit bland and rushed. I feel personally..and this is just preference shit...this section is "the meat" of the story. the foundation was near flawless..it was building epic.. now were at presentation time.. and it feels like smoke machines and strobe lights.


-----
I slowly see the broader picture,
in the distance lies a water image,
of a silhouette line
glaring at the sight, of my newlywed wife..
- Lillith. From Lucifer desired.
------

ended extremely well. you recovered great and closed out well. and again..thats just preference shit..art is so subjective that there is no *right* or *wrong way*

nice piece Alice. always enjoy the read. thanks

[Alice White]

Haha, glad you gave it a read now!
and as always, thank you for the thorough feed! Appreciated.