Tales from the hood aka ''this can't be real life''

[Objective]

I'm bored and tired so thought I'd write this up. It's pretty long so I'll bold the important parts if you can't be fucked.

I grew up in a fairly ugly looking housing apartment. Sounds pretty common, right? The difference in this shithole is that it was 50/50 social clients and regular people getting by, the Norwegian version of the show The PJ's if you wish. Nothing too bad but still bad nonetheless. The janitor was a retired alcoholic, people would have sex in the hallways where the storage units was at times and we'd pee in strollers blaming it on the kid with somewhat autistic traits with only the negatives to claim for it. His teacher had once put his desk in the hallway for not obeying but refused to go and get it, it got lost somehow and he went a week without one or asking for another. He'd come to school and just sit there like an idiot, without a backpack too since he forgot it more often than not. Good kid overall so I feel bad for what he had to endure in hindsight, and I did consider him a friend as we had mutual friends and would hang out together on occasion. I was just a shitty person growing up.
Me and my mother were living in an apartment there together and fell somewhere in the middle due to situations that doesn't make sense to bring up in this scenario, I'm just giving you the works.

Either way, the local drunk happened to be our neighbor. I got plenty of stories about him, why he hasn't been jailed for pedophile charges baffles me to this day. You know the type, the scrawny middle aged dude that would end up dancing in the middle of the fucking skatepark drunk out of his mind at 4:30PM in the middle of the week, and start stripping because everybody was cheering him on for shits and giggles. The kinda dude that would tell twelve year olds how big his dick was yet wouldn't buy you alcohol unless he got a cig for it first, and once stole a dog that was tied to a pole outside one of those self serve 08:00-00:00 tanning salons kids get drunk in towards closing hours because he felt he could need a pet.
Me and a friend convinced him to take it back shortly after he had taken it, or so we thought. We learned a couple weeks later that the owner finally found him tied to the same pole three days later after someone had reported it in. If you think about it there's probably a character like that on Netcees too... I can't make this shit up.

Either way. The Norwegian winters are brutal. ''Snow days'' where you get a day off from school is a rather foreign concept to me, they happened every other year but that's about it. Not the point of this story but it's important to know for good measure, it's Norway goddamnit. Snow comes along and we fucking perfected the art of creating the most terrifying snowballs you can think of over the years. We'd come home with bruises all over our bodies, blood were spilled, windows would get cracked when we threw them at them etc. It happens when you spend 20-30 seconds handcrafting those shits with your bare hands. To put it in perspective: paintball comes close.

We had a nearby local store just short of 10 metres away from the housing apartment. It was a level below so you had to walk down a set of staircases to get to the parking lot and the entrance of the store. If you've never heard about a grocery store that also works as a shady car repairment shop, a fastfood place with a pool and video rental in limited space this would be it.
After his daily run to the store to get his daily fix and halfway up the stairs the fucker stops. Turns around and looks at us for a minute before he yells: ''10$ to the person that hits me in the face'', determined as all fuck pointing at his dome as if he didn't have enough brain damage from before.
We were probably 10-15 14 year old shitkids, give or take 2 years, hanging out at the parking lot talking smack. And I shit you not, without hesitation the inevitable happened. We fought for that 10$ knowing damn well we'd probably never see the light of it. The entertainment factor alone was enough to give it a go. The guy was getting covered in a storm of slightly frosty bullets the size of tennis balls and a loud but muffled ''OUCH!!'' was eventually heard. This was our cue to stop.

He covers his face and turns towards us for a short minute, apparently someone had hit him right above the eye with a snowball that probably had some ice in it. Dude was bleeding pretty badly and we figured we probably went overboard. We felt kind of bad about it for a second before laughing it off with ''so, anyone know who he owes 10$ to?''-comments.
You'd think it would end here right? You damn right it didn't. A couple minutes pass and his just as drunk ass clone of a son comes out of the apartment building and starts running towards the staircase, everyone makes a run for it while he yells ''you'll get beat for fucking up my father!!!''

Everyone knew we'd be in deep shit if he caught up to us, and I don't think we wanted to cause any more trouble either. We didn't mean to actually injure the drunken bastard. A local pakistanian kid (got lots of stories about this little fucker too, karma probably caught up with him) that knew nothing of what had just transpired and was just inside the store to buy some groceries for his mother became the victim for the revenge he had in store.
He barges in, sees the kid and knocks him out in front of the CCTV telling him to stop abusing his father and the cops were called. I know this because 15 minutes ish later we went back to the crimescene and heard what happened from the crying wimp himself.

Overall it was a pretty good day.

[its faggot zelph]

Man oh man

[Eŋg]

this isn't namco's next rpg?

[El Muffin]

life n times of slim jesus in Schlotksyfjord, Norway

[veritas]

Muff boarding lolz lately

[Mr. J]

I thought this was about the movie.....lies